Bridezilla (brid zil/a) n. a bride who is greedy, thoughtless and rude, thinks nothing of etiquette and believes her friends and family should cater to all of her desires, no matter how outrageous.

Some examples:

• A woman is asked to be a matron of honor for her best friend’s wedding. After buying an expensive gown and shoes, and organizing a bridal shower, the bride tells her that she is too fat and can no longer be part of the bridal party.
• A bridal registry department store clerk recalls a bride who asked to insert a note in her registry that read, “The china costs $90 for each place setting. If you are unable to give us at least one full place setting, then please don’t give us anything.” The note was left out.

Just two of the countless true tales described in “Bridezilla: True Tales From Etiquette Hell” (Salado Press, $14.95) by Gail Dunson, an etiquette expert and wedding planner, and Jeanne Hamilton, creator of www.etiquettehell.com, the Web site from which many of the book’s stories are drawn.

“A wedding can bring out the best in a person, but unfortunately it also can bring out the worst in some,” says Dunson, whose pen name is Noe Spaemme. “She is a control freak. She has to nitpick every detail to the point where she has few friends left and forgets to have a good time.” Bridezilla has yet to make it into a dictionary, but she is well-recognized. Mention her and many laugh and volunteer a tale. A Google search lists more than 11,000 entries, filled with loads of anecdotal evidence.

These anecdotes can serve as examples of bad behavior, Dunson says. But many family members and friends excuse it to give brides a lifelong Cinderella dream, if only for a day.

“They are going to be in the spotlight, so they want to control how they look,” she says.

Problems begin when brides want to control how everyone else looks, down to the shade of lipstick, length of hair, color of toenail polish, height of a heel and glow of a fake tan.

“I knew a bride that bought two wedding dresses and had her portraits taken in both,” Dunson says. “The portraits are scattered around the entryway of the church. She even had photo magnets made up herself.

“We called it ‘The Purple Wedding.’ Everything was purple, including the groomsmen, their boutonnieres. The bridesmaids had purple beads instead of flowers. The punch was purple. Instead of rice, they pulled the purple Goldfish out of the snack bags and threw those on the couple. I thoroughly expected to see Barney come down the aisle singing, ‘I Love You.'”

According to the book, beware of bridezilla if a deposit slip or registry card is included in a wedding invitation, or a padlocked cash box is prominently displayed at a bridal shower or reception with signs welcoming contributions.

There is a bridezilla on the premises if she announces the monetary value of a gift, treats her bridal party like dress-up dolls or discusses her wedding plans ad nauseum, Dunson says.