Phone rang earlier this week and it was a politico offering me an interview with Gray Davis.

Gray who?

The California governor wouldn’t talk to me during the campaign, and his wife even told supporters to steer clear of me because apparently I’d been too tough on poor old Gray.

Now that he’s looking for work, he wants to shoot the breeze? I got bigger fish to fry, and frankly, I already like Gov.-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger much better. Virtually every day, Arnold serves up another fat one.

Now, before I proceed, let me repeat that although he wouldn’t have gotten 10 votes if not for his celebrity, Schwarzenegger has the potential to do us all some good.

If he’s the political centrist he claims to be, maybe he can freeze out the fringe in both parties — the spend-thrift dinosaurs on the left and the cold-hearted dragons on the right — and find common ground among those who care to tackle the state’s problems.

But you don’t generate a great deal of political cooperation, or public trust, by committing one act of hypocrisy after another in the walk-up to inauguration. Last week, the anti-special interests candidate invited special interests to lay money at his feet. This week, the candidate who insisted California must live within its means is considering a plan to borrow as much as $20 billion to cover the projected deficit.

In between, his ace staff announced that he’s hiring a private investigator to investigate the groping allegations against him. (I still say he should just get himself tanked and see if he spills the beans).

Regarding the $20-billion bailout idea, I felt better when I was being deceived, didn’t you? I thought Arnold was going to wave his magic wand, eliminate waste and rein in spending, and we’d all celebrate how easy it was to balance the books.

Now we find out that Schwarzenegger might grab another page from the Gray Davis playbook and put a $20 billion cash advance on the state credit card — as much as $40 billion when you add interest and other charges. Sure, if the sun shines and the economy grows, we may be able to cover the debt without having to eat our young. But I thought that was Gray Davis’ argument.

And where did Schwarzenegger get this sage advice? That’s the best part. He got it from arch-conservatives who flogged Davis for — are you ready, kids? — borrowing. They include the Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Assn., which has SUED THE STATE because of its borrowing to balance last year’s budget.

Give Schwarzenegger a break, GOP consultant Ken Khachigian told me. He didn’t have many options on the budget, and as for the flip-flopping by true conservatives: “The benefit of having this kind of change in the governor’s office is worth swallowing hard and putting some of your old positions behind you.”

Maybe, but Jarvis junkies endorsing massive credit card debt is like environmentalists driving Hummers. If this is the dawning of the age of sellouts, maybe I should consider jumping to the other side, as well.

I love my job, but Arnold doesn’t seem to have anyone on his staff of buffoons who can keep him from stubbing his toe. For a million bucks — chump change to a man of his means — I’ll quit this gig and be Arnold’s damage control chief and private eye all in one.

Take me with you, Arnold. Sacramento is going to be Wonderland, and I already feel like I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole.