Indianapolis ? Shinji Nakano is a 200 mph billboard for … cream puffs.

“Very tasty,” said Nakano, who has “Beard Papa’s Pipin’ Hot Cream Puffs” plastered across the side of his car and the front of his driver’s suit.

Right next door, three midriff-bearing women were outside Greg Ray’s garage, posing for pictures and showing that you, too, can look like this — or squeeze into an Indy car — by taking the weight-loss supplement TrimSpa.

And presumably staying away from the cream puffs.

While Ray isn’t given much of a chance to win Sunday’s Indianapolis 500, his primary sponsor was certainly a hit with male fans strolling through Gasoline Alley.

In the wacky, desperate search for racing dollars, just about anything goes. This is the ultimate testament to free enterprise, as major companies (Marlboro and Miller Lite) race side-by-side with obscure businesses trying to get their foot in the door.

Sometimes, even the drivers are hard-pressed to remember all the companies that have signed on as sponsors.

Hey, Sarah Fisher, you’ve got mail (AOL is one of her sponsors). Thin mints (the Girls Scouts are also backing Fisher’s team) mix freely with stiff drinks (Jim Beam is writing checks for Dan Wheldon).

“It’s really tough to keep up with,” said Nakano, a Japanese driver who also has to cope with the language barrier.

Fisher has it down pat.

“I use AOL on my computer,” she said. “I have Raybestos brakes on my BMW. I do have a hard time using GMAC because I don’t like to finance anything.”

She looks across the garage to the car driven by teammate Robbie Buhl, who gets his backing from a laundry detergent. Hey, here comes a bonus plug.

“I wouldn’t use anything else but Purex,” Fisher said, “even though I don’t get it for free.”

Drivers are expected to bone up on the finer points of the company that’s paying the bills. Nakano, for instance, remembered to point out that Beard Papa’s — a Japanese company with a logo resembling an aging fisherman — will open its first store in New York this summer.

“They are very good,” he said, smiling. “Very good.”

Lee Mroszak, one of the owners of Ray’s team, offers a personal testimonial for TrimSpa, which also claims John Daly among its success stories. Mroszak says he sought the company out as a sponsor after losing 100 pounds using its product.

TrimSpa was just one of the companies trying to boost business in the days leading up to the “Greatest Spectacle in Racing.” There are all sorts of important-sounding news conferences, which usually turn out to be nothing more than another sponsorship announcement.

Shortly before the final practice, Penske Racing claimed the interview room to discuss — drum roll, please — its new deal with Quicken Loans, an Internet mortgage lender.