How long did it take you?

From the moment you first heard about North Carolina Gov. Mike Easley’s “wreck” at Lowe’s Motor Speedway last week, how long did it take you to figure out that there’s no way the top elected official in the state hit the wall going 165 mph?

The governor in a race car? Admit it. With the PGA Tour stealing the spotlight in Charlotte, N.C., last week, you realized that it was all just a publicity stunt.

Some driving school instructor took the car for a spin, right? He wrecks and they put the governor in the same uniform and ride him out there in the wrecker. Play a little shell game switch-a-roo and, presto! Racing is on the front page.

That’s how the mind has to work when you’re dealing with Humpy Wheeler and his folks out at Lowe’s Motor Speedway. You’ve got to think big picture — big, dark, murky conspiratorial picture — at all times.

That’s why it’s so hard making predictions about what’s going to happen at the track during the next two weeks.

Do you really think there’s any other way a guy like me could be so consistently wrong about who’s going to win The Winston, the Coca-Cola 600 and the Charlotte track’s other May events?

Hey, a porpoise pitching darts would get more things right than I have over the years. The fix has to be in.

Wheeler made his own prediction about The Winston earlier this week, and his public relations minions will concoct another questionable tally of Wheeler’s successful record in picking the winner.

Kurt Busch relaxes in the garage at Rockingham.

Well, duh! Wheeler ought to bat a thousand. If he’s not writing the script for the event each year he’s at least getting an early peek at the last page.

I, on the other hand, have carefully analyzed the upcoming events and am ready to make another forecast. I do, however, reserve the right to change my picks as the two weeks of racing go along. If Richard Childress Racing and Dale Earnhardt Inc. can switch drivers, then so can I.

Here it goes:

l The Winston pole: Bobby Labonte, with a big assist from crew chief Michael McSwain and his crew, get the top spot.

l Hardee’s 200: Kevin Harvick steps over from the Winston Cup circuit to win Lowe’s Motor Speedway’s first Truck series race.

l Winston Open: Jeff Burton earns his way into the main event.

l The Winston: The all-star race is about going for it every lap, especially in the final segment that pays $1 million to the winner. That’s right up Kurt Busch’s alley.

l Coca-Cola 600 pole: Elliott Sadler has come so close to winning the pole for this race before. He gets it this time in the No. 38 Ford.

l Carquest 300: Jeff Green has been tough to beat in Grand National races at Charlotte recently. The guess here is that nobody will be able to do it this year, either.

l Coca-Cola 600: Roush Racing drivers have won this race in each of the past four years. Make it five, this time with Matt Kenseth getting his second career 600 victory.

Sorry, guys. By picking you I have all but doomed you to failure. There’s no way “they” will let you win after I’ve picked you.

Oh, so you think I’m paranoid? Hey, they had a governor in on their last little trick.