Lynate Pettengill is Lawrence’s Miss Lonelyhearts.

Pettengill, 35, is a life coach, a professional who helps clients set and achieve goals, make difficult transitions and reach their greatest potential.

Her specialty is singles issues, working with people who are in the dating trenches, seeking that ever-elusive dream: the satisfying relationship.

Why the emphasis on singles?

“It’s helpful for coaches like me to come up with a specialty,” says Pettengill, 35, who is single herself and has an 8-year-old son. “It’s really where I am in life. I’ve been single for six years, so I’ve learned a lot. I’ve spent the last two years really pushing myself, working the dating process, jumping out of my comfort zone.”

Her efforts in her personal life have met with some success.

Pettengill (her first name is pronounced “linn-ay”) says she’s met many nice guys and is now dating an eligible man whom she met on Match.com, an Internet dating site.

“I love working with singles. I find that it’s an ignored segment of our society. There’s still a bias toward partnership,” she says. “And I find that I do have a lot to offer them as a coach, because I have walked that path. I know the highs and lows of the single life, because I’m there.”

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, many single people have a heightened awareness of their unattached status. Pettengill has some advice on creative methods people can use to find a good relationship, whether they’re seeking to date casually or get serious and find a lifemate.

They’re ideas that she presents in her workshop for singles, “Looking for Love in All the Right Places: Out-of-the-box Strategies for Finding Your Partner.”

“The single’s life can be great if you put a little effort into it. A lot of people are too scared to try,” she says.

Finding love online

Pettengill is a big advocate of using the Internet as a way to meet potential partners.

“I really think this is the way people are dating now. It’s actually like going to the candy store of men or women. You go online, and you get to see their picture and learn what their values are,” she says. “You need to be careful, safety-wise, but you’ve got the same issues if you meet someone in a club or a bar.”

A few Internet dating sites that are popular these days are Match.com, Matchmaker.com, Yahoo Personals and In Lawrence, Match.com seems to be especially popular, according to Pettengill.

Most of these sites are easy to use, and people can just have a photo of themselves scanned and put onto a computer disk. Then the image can be uploaded to accompany a personal profile written by the user.

“That’s where you meet people these days. It’s convenient. It’s a way to still be dating but not making yourself so vulnerable. The Internet lets you do it in smaller steps,” Pettengill says.

Users of dating Web sites can shop around online for potential partners and read up on who’s out there from the privacy of their own homes. As long as you don’t reveal too much personal information, such as your telephone number and address, there’s little risk in making contact with people this way.

But if you’re going to use the Internet to meet others, Pettengill advises, be sure to have your eyes open and maintain a bit of healthy skepticism.

That’s because people online don’t always portray themselves honestly. Some “singles,” for example, are actually married. One tip-off of this deception is if a person won’t post his or her photo alongside a personal profile.

“I trust my gut somewhat. I’ll exchange a few e-mails. Then I’ll call a man, if I feel safe. You can always block your telephone number (from appearing on a caller ID box),” Pettengill says.

Denise Poston of Lawrence, a client of Pettengill’s, has taken the life coach’s advice on trying the Internet as a way to meet other singles.

“I joined Match.com, but it didn’t go as well as I would have liked. I’ve been on some fun dates, but you need to sift through a lot of chaff to get to the wheat,” says Poston, a research associate at Kansas University. “But I’m also not looking (to meet men) outside Lawrence, Topeka or the Kansas City area, and I’m picky.”

Making contacts efficiently

Another good way for single people to meet potential partners, according to Pettengill, is through an increasingly popular concept known as “speed dating” or “rapid dating.”

Speed-dating services arrange informal social gatherings where singles meet each other for a series of three- to five-minute “dates.” If two people hit it off, the service will arrange for each of them to later receive the other’s e-mail address. What happens next is up to the participants.

“A lot of times you go out to meet a person for dinner or coffee, and within a few minutes, you can tell it’s just not clicking. Then it gets awkward and uncomfortable,” Pettengill says. “With speed dating, you’ve only got five minutes, and then you go on to the next person. So you don’t waste a lot of time and energy. And you do have that one-on-one experience, which you can’t simulate on the Internet or over the telephone.”

There are several speed-dating services that operate in the Kansas City area, such as KC Connects and FaciliDate. A service called Ready-Set-Date offered several speed-dating events in Lawrence last year but is no longer operating.

“Rapid dating is a great way to meet people. It’s like an having an appetizer,” Pettengill says, “then you can go back for the main course.”