Valentine’s Day is coming. For those of us who have lost our partners, it is a bittersweet time.

Looking back, we can remember those sweet times. The day you (he) proposed, the wedding day — many other days over the years that were happy or sad.

Somehow, it seems to be the sad times or the times we would like to change that come to mind first. We really must make an effort to reverse that and to remember the good times, the sweet times. It takes an effort, but let’s do it, and let’s forgive ourselves for those times that we could have been better.

Now that we are alone, isn’t it interesting how much more we appreciate those “better halves” than we sometimes did before? Now we can realize that the always-cheerful nature should have been appreciated more, instead of wishing at the time that he or she had been more in tune with our misery — real or imagined.

Let’s find something to do to honor that person who spent all those years of his or her life with us.

A visit to the cemetery is always in order, and if possible, bring a bouquet of flowers. Artificial is appropriate at this time of year.

Do something at home as well. Fix up a little “memory spot” in a corner, or on the dining room table with a few personal belongings, a picture, a note, a little drawing. The emphasis is on the “doing.”

Do something fun, too, in remembrance. If you liked to go to the movies together, you might want to go to the theater. Enjoy it and reminisce a little.

Get out the photo album, the video or movie tapes. You might be surprised by what you see that you had forgotten.

And, you couples who are still together, take a note from those of us who are alone — find something to appreciate in that “cross-patch,” that “nag,” that “grouch” sitting across from you at the breakfast table. Remember the good times you have had. Appreciate each other. Tell each other how much the partnership means to you.