While watching the Royals on the tube the other night, my residence supervisor spotted the name “Levine” on the back of a K.C. pitcher’s jersey.

Who’s he? she said.

“That’s Al Levine,” I replied.

Never heard of him. Where did he come from?

“He was directing traffic outside Kauffman Stadium the other night, and they asked him if he wanted to pitch in the big leagues.”

Yeah, right …

“OK, he’s a journeyman pitcher the Royals picked up in hopes he might have a few innings left in his aging arm. I think he was with Tampa Bay, but for all I know he could have been with the Kintetsu Buffaloes.”

The who?

“Kintetsu is a team in the Japanese leagues. More and more pitchers from Japan are coming over here and making an impact. Heck, the Royals even have one.”

They do? I thought Mac Suzuki was long gone.

“Suzuki must be long gone, or I’m sure the Royals would have rediscovered him by now. But no, the Royals’ Darrell May played in Japan for four seasons before he returned to this country.”

I didn’t know that.

“Did you know the Royals have Kevin Appier again?”

You’re kidding. Where has he been?

“With the Angels.”

Oh, that’s right. I remember he pitched in the World Series last year. Who did the Royals trade to get him?

“Uh, nobody. The Angels released him. Anaheim officials thought he was washed up.”

Why did the Royals think he could still pitch?

“I’m not sure, but the Royals do have this thing about reclaiming former No. 1 draft picks. With Appier, Brent Mayne and Michael Tucker, the Royals must lead the majors in recycled first-round homeboys.”

Are there any more former Royals first-round picks available?

“Sure, Jeff Austin and Dan Reichert are pitching in the minor leagues for other organizations now, but those two are relatively recent picks, and the Royals seem more interested in veteran pitchers right now.”

How old is Appier?

“He’s 35, same age as Paul Abbott.”

Paul Abbott? Who’s he?

“Isn’t this where we started this conversation? Abbott is another journeyman the Royals believe still has an idea how to pitch, if not a fastball.”

How many pitchers have the Royals used this season?

“I looked that up the other day. So far, they’ve used 25. That’s one fewer than they used all of last season. By the time this season ends, I expect Tony Pena will have used at least 30 pitchers.”

That’s amazing.

“What’s more amazing is the Royals may not have a pitcher win as many as 10 games.”

How can that be?

“Well, Chris George is the Royals’ biggest winner with nine and he was dispatched to Omaha more than a month ago because his earned-run average was an ugly 7.11.”

Who’s the next biggest winner?

“Runelvys Hernandez and Jose Lima have seven wins apiece, but Lima is on the DL and Hernandez, who looks overweight, hasn’t been the same pitcher since he came off the DL a few weeks ago.”

What’s the DL?

“It stands for Doloro Lumbago, a Latin expression that means ‘My back hurts’ but now stands for Disabled List.”

OK, I believe I’ve had enough of this. Excuse me, I’m going to go tie your socks into knots.