Chicago ? Let’s get this straight, so there’s no confusion.

As long as no college coach — ever — changes jobs, everything will be hunky-dory. Everybody simply needs to stay where they are, thereby creating no new openings and we can all exhale slowly and relax.

Just … no … one … make … a … move.

Apparently that’s the only way to avoid the hurt feelings and hand-wringing and general outrage that has accompanied the resignations of — just follow the falling domino — Roy Williams, Bill Self and (fill-in-the-blank) Bruce Weber, Dana Altman, Thad Matta or Rob Judson.

Illini fans have apparently wised up and seem to be creating some momentum for the hiring of someone whose dream job is Illinois. Wonder how Northern Illinois fans feel about Judson harboring such thoughts and — horrors — admitting it?

That’s OK, of course, if you’re an Illini backer because Judson is your guy and why wouldn’t he dream about coaching the Orange and Blue? It’s the state school, by God, and Northern will find someone else. Judson is probably too good for NIU anyway.

So it goes, the argument neatly fitting the situation without any real thought given to, uh, I don’t know, logic.

The belief that Self would be happy forever living in an unfamiliar part of the country and letting the prime of his coaching career go by while turning down the opportunity of his lifetime because it’s not the perfect timing for his current employer — that’s simply naive.

To that, Illinois fans would no doubt respond by saying, “No, not forever, but more than three years, for crying out loud.”

So what then? Five years? Ten? Williams sure wasn’t given any slack after 15, or for leaving the Jayhawks in a position where a Final Four appearance is expected each year.

It may have been only three years for Self, but no one would dispute that he leaves the Illini in better shape than he found them. Isn’t that pretty much the goal when you hire anyone for any job?

Furthermore, would Ron Guenther hesitate to fire Self if he wasn’t happy with him? Would Illini fans in any way hesitate to try to get him fired if the team played miserably? In the business world — and you’re delusional if you don’t think the NCAA is every bit as much a business as IBM — you look out for yourself. And if you don’t you get ground up and spit out.

Illini — and Kansas University fans, before they were placated by the Self hire — would no doubt respond to that by saying, “Yes, but your average big business does not rely upon the production of innocent, unpaid teenagers to whom the coach pledged his loyalty.”

OK, that’s a point. But a small one, really. Yes, it’s true that college recruits choose their college in large part because of the head coach. And yes, said coach wins their trust and devotion by pledging his commitment right back.

Guess what? College sports is sometimes a murky business. Life is unfair. There isn’t a gum on the market that doesn’t lose its flavor way too quickly. Just as schools take a chance by hiring a guy like Bill Self knowing full well it probably isn’t his final destination and they may one day lose him, players have to know the risks involved as well.

It’s all a gamble. Every coach is not always what the school and fans think he is. Neither is every player. Every job is not the dream it may have appeared.

That is why people change jobs. That is — what do you call it again — life.