Webster better look out.

When the Journal-World asked readers to submit entries to Daffy Definitions, many shared their own definitions to words that sound as if they could have an alternate meaning.

Here’s a look at some of the wacky definitions contributed by J-W readers:

Jeanine Morton

Enron: (verb) a business play where a company tries to get around accounting rules.

Bankruptcy: (noun) inconvenience caused by frequent changes at your financial institution.

Balderdash: (noun) a short race for middle-aged men.

Macadamia: (noun) nutty professors.

Telemarketer: (noun) a call rat.

Oyster: (noun) a Jewish comedian.

The T: (noun) A-Team transportation.

Intercom: (noun) the peace that comes from not having to deal face to face with co-workers.

Botox: (noun) aging KC debutante’s beauty secret.

Smart growth: (noun) the theory that allowing K- and Wal- stores to spring up around city perimeters is good.

Gigabyte: (noun) rock band feast.

Alvamar: (noun) an exclusive club for white tuna.

Jim Childers

Macadamia: (noun) paving material used in Hawaii.

Enron: (noun) from football, passing the money to several different persons, then running with it.

Telemarketer: (noun) definition unprintable in family newspaper.

Gargoyle: (noun) female fish of the gar family.

Lymph: (noun) very tired nymph.

Balderdash: (verb) to hurry to become bald before your friends do.

Pokemon: (noun) laid back male resident of Caribbean Islands.

The T: (noun) transit system designed by Mr. T that always wind up at Ninth and Massachusetts.

The T: (noun) a letter of the alphabet, come before the U and after the S.

Alvamar: (verb) to give Alva a hickey.

Catherine Waller

Macadamia: The female staff at McDonald’s.

Botox: The feeling that time is running out to meet your beau while your beauty clock tick tocks.

Gargoyle: 1. A soothing oil with which to gargle; 2. A female fish living in Brooklyn.

Balderdash: A race to loose one’s hair or loosing one’s hair in a hurry.

Brett Groene

Campanile: Where Chico Marx sent his kids the summer they spent in Egypt.

Maria Butler

Campanile: where the carillon players go in the summer.

Macadamia: education for fast-food workers.

Tonganoxie: what South Sea Islanders need when they’re short of breath.

Bankruptcy: when the ATM malfunctions and spews out money.

Gargoyle: lubricating mouthwash.

Lymph: What Daffy Duck does when he hurts his foot.

Balderdash: a race for the hair-impaired.

Pokemon: a slow-moving Jamaican.

Sarah Elbayoumy

Campanile: (noun) an expedition to Egypt’s Nile River.

Telemarketer: (noun) one who goes to Hy-vee or Dillon’s over the phone.

Gargoyle: (noun) Listerine’s first use of vegetable oil.

Lymph: (noun) in Greek mythology, a nymph who changes into a lime tree.

Balderdash: (noun) a threat to either go bald or dash away.

Oyster: (noun) one who repeatedly says, “Oy!”

The T: (noun) an herbal beverage used to calm Lawrence’s activists.

Gary Clark

Balderdash: (noun) rapidly receding hairline.

Oyster: (noun) a Yiddish exclaimer.

John Saunders

Wakarusa: (verb) the most difficult way to get to the former Soviet Union.

Campanile: (noun) Cleopatra’s tent site near the river.

Macadamia: (noun) Ronald McDonald’s new knowledge burger.

Tonganoxie: (noun) instruments used to handle poisonous substances.

Gigabyte: (noun) wound inflicted by any number of large animals.

Enron: (noun) a maneuver borrowed from football in which company CEO’s escape … undetected to the outside with investor’s money.

Intercom: (noun) that state achieved through Eastern mysticism.

Botox: (noun) a tie worn exclusively with formal wear.

Bankruptcy: (noun) speed bump on the road to financial solvency.

Telemarketer: (noun) a person involved in insider trading.

Smart growth: (verb) maturation of a child prodigy.

Gargoyle: (noun) female friend of an alligator-snouted fish (gar).

Lymph: (noun) body fluid with a high phat content.

Balderdash: (verb) rapid hair recession.

Oyster: (noun) mercury magnet.

Pokemon: (noun) a male trait as perceived by many women in a hurry.

Alvamar: (noun) divots in the greens of the famous Alva golf course.

Linda Lassman

Wakarusa: (verb) the act of hiking to the former Soviet Union.

Campanile: (verb) the process of ducking to get into your tent.

Gigabyte: (noun) a short interview on the radio of a musician promoting their upcoming concert.

Enron: (noun) what a football player does to get around the opposing line.

Intercom: (noun) a storm that blows up out of nowhere and disappears again without a trace.

Botox: (verb) what Lloyd Bridge’s son does on the telephone.

Telemarketer: (noun) person who phones their order to the grocery store.

Smart growth: (noun) a lump that disappears just before you see your doctor about it.

Gargoyle: (noun) the product of cold-pressing mouthwash.

Balderdash: (noun) what a store can expect when they have a sale on Rogaine.

Oyster: (noun) someone who promotes the use of Yiddish.

Pokemon: (noun) a Caribbean jail.

The T: (noun) what you have in Great Britain at 5 p.m.

Alvamar: (noun) a moustache drawn on a picture of Edison.

TeamSearight (Tom and Jeanne Searight)

Bankruptcy: (verb) explosion in the vault.

Pokemon: (noun) jail bird.

Ray Finch

Macadamia: field of study sponsored by McDonald’s.

Tonganoxie: medical condition which occurs after licking too many stamps.

Botox: pre-tied bow tie that comes with a rented tuxedo.

Gargoyle: mouthwashed derived from petroleum.

Balderdash: term used to describe shortstop’s move when a ball goes through his legs.

Pokemon: alternate name given to the Pillsbury doughboy.

The T: seldomly used municipal bus system; also referred to as the MT (empty).

John English

Shelf life: the roaches in your kitchen cabinets.

Cellulite: wireless phone service for really heavy callers.

Tonganoxie: how to get a noxie off the grill without burning your fingers.

Calendar: a bachelor’s dream, lots of dates, but no long-term commitment.

The T: a shirt with no collar, and a bus with no passengers.

Wakarusa: what you have to do if you don’t want your rusa to make a mess on the carpet.

Breast implants: a medical procedure guaranteed to raise droopy eyelids in human males.

Vasectomy: an operation that can make a vast deference in your love life.

Scott Winters

Macadamia: the delusion that one thinks they are Scottish. Hoots, man!

Campanile: tenting beside a river in Africa. Watch out for the crocodiles.

Gigbytes: spearfishing for small fry.

Pokemon: a Jamaican proctologist.

The T: An empty bus.

Intercom: web site address info before the dotcom.

Telemarketer: a synonym for “pest.”

Gargoyle: what an OPEC minister uses instead of Listerine.

Smart growth: benign but still cancerous city sprawl.

Balderdash: a track event for seniors.

Molly Bretthauer

Wakarusa: Fozzy Bear’s new saying since, “WAKA WAKA” is now a registered trademark of Jim Hensen Corp.

Campanile: (adj.) a term given to nun’s when ever hiking. (CAMP-A-KNEELY).

Macadamia: (proper noun) a wonder fictitious land where men can “mack” on “dames” without any cries of panic or sexual harassment.

Tonganoxie: a term for a type of punishment used on Nazis after WWII.

Gigabyte: (adj.) term given to bands that play and really really bite.

Enron: (noun) an insult rooted from the two words “entrust” and “morons,” which is what stock-holders did.

Bankruptcy: (noun) when disgruntled bank customers erupt in a fit of rage, because their bank needs two forms of I.D.

Gargoyle: 1. exclamation from New York men in relationship problems (GAARRRR GOYLES); 2. (verb) gargling with oil.

Balderdash: (proper noun) when Rogaine doesn’t work men turn to this race, for a cure.

Oyster: (adj.) 1. an elderly Jewish person who often exclaims OY! 2. a Jewish teamster.

Pokemon: (proper noun) a Jamaican game of tag.

The T: (proper noun) what Mr. T’s friends call him, much like The Fonz.

Relax: (verb) laxing again.

Laxative: (adj.) for a day full of laxing and relaxing.

Connie Haas

Pre-amble: (noun) what a guy thinks about before he amble’s up to a girl.

Paradise: (noun) a nifty thing to have if a crap game break out.

Krystyna Hilding

Macadamia: institute of higher learning for McDonald’s chefs.

Charlotte Burke

Tonganoxie: (noun) a baby Tonganox.

Gigabyte: how to catch your supper when you forget your fishing pole.

Enron: what Ron should do when his speech is too long.

Botox: (noun) a steer in a canoe.

Bankruptcy: (noun) the degree of erosion caused by the rupture of a dam.

Telemarketer: what you should do when you see someone shoplift groceries.

Smart growth: (noun) an increase in IQ.

Gargoyle: (verb) what you do when you substitute Wesson for Scope.

Balderdash: (noun) what the man did when his toupee blew off.

Oyster: (verb) how to get a pregnant lady into the top bunk.

Pokeman: (noun) a slow Jamaican.

The T: what comes after the S.

Phil Wilke

Pokemon: a slow-moving Rastafarian.

Macadamia: when a campus switches from PCs to Apple computers.

Botox: Bo Jackson’s call-in radio program.

Telemarketer: when you scream at people making unsolicited sales calls.

Lymph: a branch on your phir tree.

Balderdash: a foot race for hairless men.

Mark Kolosick

Campanile: the time when you are kneeling and praying after you’ve set up your campsite.

Gigabyte: a spearlike utensil used by teenagers to eat.

Botox: a bowtie made from toxic waste.

The T: the time of day your having tea while you’re watching your money in motion while its (MT) empty.

Smart growth: a small abnormal growth on your body where no one else can see (and it feels good).

Bankruptcy: 1. the time when a person just wants to stop paying their bills; 2. the time when a person wants to keep everything they have accumulated and not pay for it; 3. a person who continues to keep up with the jones, but doesn’t have a job.

Pittsburgh: a burger made from squeezing it flat (molding) in the arm pit.

Mason: a son born in May.

Free mason: a son born in may that was completely covered by insurance.

Norma Osborne

Wakarusa: to take a Russian women on a hike.

Campanile: a summer retreat for a young sniggler.

Macadamia: computer school for women.

Tonganoxie: a Pacific island bull calf.

Gigabyte: what you get in a swarm of mosquitoes.

Enron: a game move made by a corporate football player.

Intercom: what you feel after taking Valium.

Botox: discussions with your boyfriend.

Bankruptcy: a break in the river levee.

Telemarketer: a shop keeper who can’t keep his mouth shut.

Smart growth: getting too big for your “britches.”

Gargoyle: a petroleum product for a sore throat.

Balderdash: Yul Brynner in a foot race.

Oyster: an action taken to get rid of a failed politician.

Pokemon: a fellow who can’t keep up.

The T: The cheapest “trip” in Lawrence.

Alvamar: The young Edison with a “zit” on prom night.

Diarrhea: to color an ostrich.

Foreplay: be first on the golf course.

Pyromaniac: a person crazy about pie.

Gastronomical: the January heating bill.

Carcass: what you get when it won’t start.

Betty Mole

High intensity: a settlement of campers on a mountain top.

Clapboard: applause sign held up to cue a television audience.

Championship: winner of America’s cup.

Conjunction: where two prisoners meet.

Decision: attempt to undo a slip of the scalpel.

Limpid: wilting ego.

Mainstay: vacation in Kennebunkport.

Extreme: a trickle of water.

Innovation: the greeting you get when you register for the most expensive suite at the resort.

Wakarusa: what you have to do if you named your dog “Arusa.”

Campanile: retreat for fervent pray-ers.

Enron: a maneuver to avoid admitting you are broke.

Bankruptcy: your life savings have been ruptured.

Telemarketer: you couldn’t print what I would like to tell a marketer.

Gargoyle: that icky black stuff that gets on the floor where you park the car.

Eva Edmands

Tonganoxie: foul-mouthed speaker.

Botox: inebriated boyfriend.

Bankruptcy: what the river Elbe recently did in Germany.

Smart growth: hurtful housing development.

Gargoyle: generic name for Listerine.

Lymph: overgrown nymph.

Oyster: Yiddish exclamation of dismay.

Sinecure: salvation.

David and Eunice Hodgkins

Macadamia: Scottish scholar or McDonald’s school for burger grannies.

Tonganoxie: filet of ox tongue.

Gigabyte: bigger bite for gourmands.

Enron: material for law suits.

Smart growth: increasing one’s I.Q.

Gargoyle: oily gargle.

Lymph: one leg too short.

Oyster: one who hoists (cockney lingo).

Alvamar: Bill Vamar’s brother.

Mary Redman

Wakarusa: (verb) early pioneer way to kill a rooster for Sunday dinner.

Campanile: (noun) chain of camping sites in Egypt similar to KOA.

Macadamia: (noun) compulsive eating habit of at least one Big Mac per day.

Tonganoxie: (noun) adhesive for keeping thong underwear in place.

Gigabyte: (noun) food and drink provided gratis for performers.

Enron: (verb) slang for “take the money and run.”

Intercom: (noun) computer sex.

Botox: (noun) measurement of time since sweethearts last saw each other.

Bankruptcy: (noun) birth of branch offices from main bank.

Telemarketing: (noun) small, casual chit chat between you and the grocery cashier.

Smart growth: (noun) the inclusion of art in the school curriculum.

Gargoyle: (noun) girlfriend of a long-nosed fish found in the Midwest.

Lymph: (verb) to move slower than the speed limit.

Balderdash: (verb) frantic run for hiding when someone looses their toupee.

Oyster: (noun) young Jewish person.

Pokemon: (noun) continuous performances of the hokey-pokey over a long period of time.

The T: (noun) prescription for pain and suffering brought about by malfunctioning car.

Mt. Oread: (noun) place where monkey armies in ‘The Wizard of Oz’ gather and chant o-ree odd.