For many parents, the start of school heralds the hectic season of carpools and carting children from piano lessons to soccer practice to scout meetings.

While parents have the best intentions of wanting to give their children opportunities, family time ends up being sacrificed, say the authors of “Putting Family First: Successful Strategies for Reclaiming Family Life in a Hurry-Up World” (Owl Books, $14.)

“Many parents mourn the older priorities about family time but feel helpless to get off today’s merry-go-round,” says William Doherty, director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota, who co-wrote the book with Barbara Carlson, a teacher and service-learning coordinator.

In the face of competing demands by coaches, instructors, youth religious directors and other activity leaders, “family activities like dinners, weekend outings, vacations and visits to relatives are the first priorities to go.”

While acknowledging the issues that lead to overscheduling parents worry children will fall behind peers, working parents want to keep children busy, neighborhoods aren’t as safe for free play anymore the authors believe “parenting has become a competitive sport, with the trophies going to the busiest.”

They offer these tips for reclaiming family time:

Assess your schedule and ask if it allows you enough time for what’s most important. If not, examine why: Is it sheer lack of hours or misspent time watching TV or playing video games? Is it parents’ work schedules or children’s activity commitments?

Keep a log of how many times a family eats all together or spends time together. The data might shock a partner reluctant to give up activities.

Make accommodations so everyone can eat dinner together. This might mean feeding children snacks early in the evening and sitting down to dinner at 8 p.m., for example. If it comes down to time spent cooking or time spent together, skimp on the food. “The key is the conversation and the togetherness, not the menu.”

Don’t underestimate the importance of bedtime routines and rituals. The key words are “simple and consistent,” the authors note. “Respect rituals as time freed from everyday business and busyness.”

Look at the whole family’s schedule. “Even if each child is not overscheduled, the sum total of scheduled activities may put everyone on tilt,” the authors note. “Little ones cannot stay home, so they have to travel around to their siblings’ events.”

Schedule time to “hang out” as a family. This might mean, for example, keeping Sunday afternoon or one evening free from any commitments. Don’t let television or the Internet fill up the time.

If children balk at dropping an activity entirely, consider reducing the intensity of involvement. This might mean playing soccer, for example, but not on the traveling team. Or informing a coach their child will not practice on Sundays, even if it means he spends more time on the bench.

Take a sabbatical from outside activities. For example, some families don’t make regular time commitments during the summer.

Keep the TV off during dinner and out of children’s rooms. Both discourage family conversation and interaction.