Some time ago, we wrote a column in response to a question from a father who had left his wife and two children ages 4 years and 7 months for another woman. He moved to a two-bedroom apartment 45 minutes away, put a crib in the living room for the baby, and wanted joint physical custody of the two children from Sunday evening until Wednesday morning of each week. He asked our opinion of his wife’s chances of restricting his rights to the children.

Given the facts that he and his wife were clearly not getting along, the children would be in an automobile an extra hour and a half during three school days per week, and the baby was only 7 months of age, we thought her chances were good.

While joint legal custody (educational and health decision-making) is one thing, joint physical custody or divided custody (shared living arrangements) is quite something else. We therefore suggested that, under the circumstances, he consider alternate weekend visitation until his daughter was older and his situation became stabilized rather than litigate the issue.

In response, we received an unusually high number of reader e-mails, more than 60 percent of which took us to task for interfering with a father’s rights to spend time with his children and harming the children. Here are excerpts from some of them, and our parenthetical comments, where appropriate:

“I would have suggested that he consider moving closer to the mother (he should have thought of this before he moved across town, and it’s not too late if he can get out of his apartment lease), or ask if the mother would consider moving closer to him (we don’t believe that a mother with young children whose father left them would uproot her children and life to move across town) … The real issue isn’t their personal situation, but how society views parenting and child rearing. (We disagree). I support joint physical custody instead of the normal sole-custody arrangements. (We agree, when appropriate).”

“I am a single parent of three children, two of whom who have not seen their father since he was arrested on child abuse related charges involving them in 1987 … My youngest son’s father and I took the time to talk about custody and parenting when we divorced, and he is involved in our son’s life. … None of my children have grown up to be ‘bad’ children. When both parents are decent, then both parents should be allowed to parent their children.”

“After reading your article I cannot believe how anti-family you are. A child needs the stability of two parents participating in their upbringing. Anything less should be considered child abuse which you are promoting.”

“With all the recent studies showing that children who are denied the nurturing and attention of a strong father are at greater risk for poor school performance and illegal activity, we cannot imagine what drove this elementary response. … Your response clearly reveals that, to you, fathers are quite disposable, to be tossed aside and relegated to an occasional visitor. … Our greatest appreciation for these children is that you are not family court judges.” (Family court judges have difficult decisions to make.)

We are always happy to hear from our readers.