Why is early supervision and discipline of a son by his father so important?

Let me illustrate this principle with a recent finding from the world of nature.

Other than dogs, which I have always loved, the animals that fascinate me the most are elephants. These magnificent creatures are highly emotional and surprisingly intelligent. I suppose that’s why it is disturbing to see them suffering the encroachment of civilization.

That is happening in the Pilanesberg National Park in northwestern South Africa. Rangers there have reported that young bull elephants in that region have become increasingly violent in recent years especially to nearby white rhinos. Without provocation, an elephant will knock a rhinoceros over and then kneel and gore it to death. This is not typical elephant behavior, and it’s been very difficult to explain.

But now, game wardens think they’ve cracked the code. Apparently, the aggressiveness is a byproduct of government programs to reduce elephant populations by killing the older animals. Almost all of the young rogues were orphaned when they were calves, depriving them of adult contact. Under normal circumstances, dominant older males keep the young bulls in line and serve as role models for them. In the absence of that influence, “juvenile delinquents” grow up to terrorize their neighbors.

I know it’s risky to apply animal behavior too liberally to human beings, but the parallel here is too striking to miss. Let me say it one more time: The absence of early supervision and discipline is often catastrophic for teen-agers and for elephants.

Prisons are populated primarily by men who were abandoned or rejected by their fathers. Motivational speaker and writer Zig Ziglar quotes his friend Bill Glass, a dedicated evangelist who counseled almost every weekend for 25 years with men who were incarcerated, as saying that among the thousands of prisoners he had met, not one of them genuinely loved his dad.

I once had a conversation with a man named Bill Houghton, who was president of a large construction firm. I asked him: “When you are thinking of hiring an employee especially a man what do you look for?”

His answer surprised me. He said, “I look primarily at the relationship between the man and his father. If he felt loved by his dad and respected his authority, he’s likely to be a good employee.” Then he added, “I won’t hire a young man who has been in rebellion against his dad. He will have difficulty with me, too.”

I also have observed that the relationship between a boy and his father sets the tone for so much of what is to come. He is that important at home.

James Dobson is president of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, P.O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, Colo. 80903; or www.family.org.