Throwing a dinner party can be an amazing experience you reminisce about for years to come. Or it can be a stressful hassle that never really lives up to expectations. You can probably guess which scenario Ron and Julie Malloy, authors of “It’s Just a Dinner Party” (Capital Books, $20), chose to highlight when they set about writing their book.

“We thought everyone should enjoy entertaining as much as we did,” says Ron.

	Ten things to say to people if you don’t ever want them to speak to you again: 1. Have you gained weight?2. You look tired. (Also: You look bloated.)3. Why don’t you have kids?4. How much did that cost?5. Have you found a job yet?6. You know, you’re beginning to look just like your mother.7. How come you’re still single?8. Did I hear your dog died?9. The last time I saw you, you were stumbling drunk.10. Are you pregnant? From “It’s Just a Dinner Party”

The couple say they decided to write the book after numerous conversations with friends on the subject convinced them that they knew as much as any self-proclaimed “lifestyle maven” such as Martha Stewart.

Ron grew up in a large family in Stamford, Conn., where he says entertaining was a big part of the social structure of the family, and Julie claims they threw their first dinner party after they’d been dating for only two weeks. The difference between them and others, they emphasize, is in their approach.

“People we talked to were a little intimidated by the advice that they got from others,” says Julie.

Instead of getting worked up about extraneous details like centerpieces and place cards, the Malloys urge a “guestcentric” approach to entertaining. For 179 pages, they preach the gospel of simplicity in which the happiness of the guests takes precedence over all else. That enjoyment extends to the host, too.

“Our thought is you yourself have to be happy and enjoy the event, because people look to you as a host,” says Ron.

“It takes a lot of the pressure off the host if you’re thinking about their enjoyment and you’re not worried about how they’re thinking about you,” says Julie.

Even when things don’t go according to plan, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Ron and Julie’s biggest faux pas was throwing a Cinco de Mayo party for 150 people without having fully prepared all the vegetables for the fajitas they planned to serve.

“We had to enlist a bunch of people to help chop things up, and we didn’t end up eating until 10 p.m.,” says Ron.

“If it weren’t for the margaritas, it could have been ugly.”

The hints and suggestions served up in “It’s Just a Dinner Party” range from the specific (recipes for grilled whole red snapper and beef fillet with horseradish sauce) to the simple (don’t invite people whom you know won’t get along), but the couple say it’s important to highlight things that seem no-brainers (remember to keep your beer keg chilled in ice).

“You would be very surprised at how many things are overlooked,” says Ron.

“A lot of it is common sense, but you need to think it through, because when you get surrounded by the excitement of a party, you might forget the things have to fit together for it to go well.”

Above all, they say, remember that entertaining isn’t a contest, and it shouldn’t be intimidating. Just have enough booze on hand and leave lots of time to prepare beforehand, whether you’re preparing a fancy roast pork or throwing together something Colonel Sanders cooked up.