Call me Solomon. I’ve got the perfect solution for Ted Williams.

It involves the separation of head and body.

Give the neck-down to his daughter to cremate, as she says the slugger wished. Give the neck-up to his son, who can keep it cold till science figures out how to revive him.

Don’t worry that Ted will look any weirder than his nitrogen-napping neighbors. Many cryonically preserved people are just heads. They’re simply called the neuro-onlys.

“We mess up a body pretty well by disease or aging,” explains Jim Yount of the American Cryonics Society. “Why pay to carry that along? Let’s reduce the bulk, reduce the cost and only send the head through time.”

Yes, let’s! Or, uh, at least let’s consider it.

Of the nearly 100 people who have had their bodies frozen, the neuro-onlys chose to quit while they’re a head (sorry) because: () It’s cheaper less body to store. (2) It’s quicker no bulky torso to chill. (3) It’s possibly more effective the sooner the brain is frozen, the less information could be lost.

Other neuro-onlys simply believe that by the time they are revived, science will have figured out how to clone them a new body.

Or that they won’t need one.

“If you want to come back with your identity and memories intact, then you need to preserve the information that’s in your brain,” says James Halperin, author of “The First Immortal,” a best seller about cryonics.

But do you really need your body? Not if scientists can attach your brain to a robot or computer to keep it going.

After all, adds Yount, what makes you you? “If you lose an arm or a leg, are you still you? Yes. The question then becomes: How much can you throw away and still be yourself? You can go as far as the brain.”

The freeze-my-brain-onlys laugh at the freeze-my-whole-bodys, calling them “meat chauvinists.”

Still, both groups do believe in one thing: that cryonics just may afford them a new lease on life.

“This is like a big experiment,” says Kathleen Cotter, a Californian who has signed up to be frozen upon death. “I have no idea if it’s going to work. But I do know what’s going to happen if I’m buried or cremated.” She’s choosing the more open-ended option.

How likely is a happy ending? Right now it’s not likely at all, cryonicists admit. But they’re banking on medical progress.

“The definition of death is always changing,” says Halperin. “One hundred years ago, if your heart stopped, you were dead because there was no way to start it up again. Nobody could have conceived of a heart transplant.”

Similarly, he says, in another hundred years, doctors may look at whatever killed us and say, “Oh, that’s easily reversible!”

Freezing a body buys it the chance to get to a hospital in the future. It’s like getting very sick in some mud hut village and buying an airlift ticket to the Mayo Clinic. Your chances of surviving have just increased.

Whether the Splendid Splinter really craved that second chance, we don’t know. But denying it to him seems cruel, as does denying him his chance to spread his ashes.

Solomon never had it easy. But he knew how to cut his losses in half.