First they decided we should copy those quaint traffic circles, or “rotaries” as they are called in New England. In theory, rotaries seem sensible; one merges with the traffic in the circle and goes around until he or she wants to turn off. No one has to stop at all, unless of course, they become badly merged with another vehicle. Then everybody stops dead, for quite a while. Rotaries also help boost the body shop business. The planners in Lawrence were foresighted enough to avoid the larger, high speed, auto-crunching rotaries in the East, doubtless saving us lots of money by downsizing. Almost anybody creeping at a rate of about 5 mph can make it around, except for fire trucks, which are too long to make it at any speed. But, then, they can usually find some other route.

Now it seems the traffic planners have done it again. Along several blocks of Louisiana Street, we have a new set of cement traffic calmer islands, which are evidently intended to slow the mad rush of students on their way to the fast food heaven on 23rd Street. These wide, unpainted traffic calmers have reportedly been involved in several accidents, often involving older drivers who are anything but calmed by the presence of the new hazards. However, these new obstacles will no doubt provide a challenging slalom course to a few talented young drivers on their way to assuage their boredom and hunger.

The next thing you know, those same planners will be working on a way to build a new trafficway. No doubt, that will be much cheaper than patching the holes and heaving pavement along 31st Street. In fact, if no repairs are made, it might even increase public support for a better route. Meanwhile, I’m doing my part to improve the whole traffic situation; I’m staying off the streets every chance I get.

John M. Ducey,

Lawrence