What you need to understand about the proposal to test for performance-enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball is that it’s a cheap ploy. It’s a union bargaining chip for use in negotiations with had-it-up-to-here fans who are sick of greedy, muscle-headed players. In other words almost every fan.

In return the players want you to believe in them again.

If you’re smart, you’ll tell them you’ll believe in them just as soon as they come up with a drug-testing plan that at least has a few teeth to it, unlike the current proposal, which is all gums and pureed vegetables.

The second thing to understand is that no testing program can consistently catch cheaters. We know this because the NFL can’t catch guys who look like parade floats. We know this because the fuel-injected Olympics rarely catches anyone. We know this because the blood-doped Tour de France rarely catches anyone via testing.

Now you’ll understand why the Major League Baseball Players Association stepped to the plate on this issue. What can it hurt to drug test?

Under the proposal announced Wednesday, players would be subjected to one or more unannounced tests in the next two seasons to determine the level of steroid use in the league. If more than 5 percent of the players test positive either year, there would be two more years of random testing. As for penalties, there are none.

In other words running in place is the union’s mode of transportation here. By the time the union is done sweating, all the players using performance enhancers will have figured out ways to beat the system. The whole thing is one big masking agent.

MLB officials sounded so overjoyed at the union’s initiative that both sides might want to test themselves for mononucleosis as soon as possible. It should have taken about two seconds of deliberation. Let’s review: Steroids are not our friends.

We’re deluding ourselves anyway. Athletes are so far ahead of the testing that someone would have to be either stupid or careless to get caught, and when it comes to steroids, athletes don’t often hit the stupid-careless quinella. That’s the most depressing aspect of the whole mess. MLB could call in state-of-the-art technology and it wouldn’t make a difference.

“Even if they did the most aggressive form of drug testing, which simply isn’t going to happen, they’re still going to have drugs all over baseball,” said Dr. Charles Yesalis, a professor of health and human development at Penn State. “All this is is good PR.

“You won’t catch one person who is taking human growth hormone. You’re still not going to catch anybody who takes testosterone in a judicious manner via creams or gels.”

Some fans will stop watching baseball if there is a strike. They won’t stop watching because there is evidence of drug use. Not when the ball travels 520 feet. Not when the All-Star Game home run contest looks like a freak show.

If it really bothers you that baseball might be riddled with steroid users, then you should turn off your TV or sell your tickets. Anybody game? I didn’t think so.