Salina author Larry Straub’s book “Autumn Corridors” provides advice for how to cope with and prepare for death. In light of the one-month anniversary of the Virginia Tech shootings and the deadly tornado in Greensburg, Straub will take questions about dealing with death, as well as how to get the most out of life

Moderator

Greetings chatters. I’m Jon Niccum, entertainment editor of the Journal-World, and I’ll be moderating this chat. Please welcome author and professor Larry Straub, whose new book, “Autumn Corridors,” provides advice for coping with and preparing for death, as well as living life to the fullest.

Larry Straub

Hello, I am glad to be here today to answer any questions concerning the topic of dealing with grief and working through issues associated with the death of a person close to you.

Moderator

What prompted you to write this book?

Larry Straub

It is actually a extention of the teaching that I do for Universities. I would tell the story of my mothers death when I was 13 and how I finally came to terms with her death 17 years later when my uncle died of Cancer. The impact the story had on my classes really touched me and made me think that I should put it in a form to share it with more people.

trombeck

Can we feel grief after events like Greensburg or Virginia Tech, even though we don’t know anyone affected by those events? Is the grieving process different?

Larry Straub

Yes, we as a community, no matter if it is a city, state, country or the world tend to experience intense emotions after tragedies such as this. While it is in many ways different it is still very personal to the individuals feeling it.

Moderator

Was the process of writing the book cathartic?

Larry Straub

Yes very cathartic! It made me pull into focus many thoughts and ideas that I had been bouncing about for years. It is also very healing to take pain that you feel and turn it around to something productive that can help other people.

loiria

I am a single 34 year old recent college graduate and a mother to two children. The father is not involved in their lives. However, two years ago my son passed away at the age of 6 from choking. He was autistic, fun loving and happy. My daughter was 3 at the time and witnessed his death. Last summer she started to have problems with sleep and death-the difference. This lead to many many problems. She also has developmental delays but is not autistic. Is she a good candidate for playtherapy?

Larry Straub

While I am not a therapist or a specialist, I will attempt to give some general advice. First of all with the trauma that she has experience there will be long term issues that will take time and patience to resolve. You as here mother, while working with professionals, can be a huge difference in the sucess of getting her through these tough times. This is not about one big thing, it will be about all the small things that you can do to help her get her security back. Stay in there with her, love her and be a mom and she will have great odds of getting through this tough stretch.

mpaget

Have you found that there’s any value in reaching out online during the grieving process?

Larry Straub

Absolutely! That is one of the great things with conectivity, we can find people who are going through very similar challenges such as we are experiencing. I definitely advise people to use all the tools out there to find support, both traditional and evern more imaginative.

Moderator

What was the most difficult aspect to writing “Autumn Corridors”?

Larry Straub

It was such a deeply personal story, because it was my story. I really tried to find ways to maybe do it as a fictional story, but I could never determine a way to do that and not loose the incredible power of the message. This project has really put me “out there” in ways that I would never have imagined, that is a little scary…. but I must say that it has been very rewarding and I have no regrets.

Moderator

Have you received much feedback from your students who have come across your book?

Larry Straub

Yes, quite a bit. Many have already gotten it and called, that has been neat to touch base with them again. I am also receiving some great feedback from the general public that have gotten the book and that has been very positive so far. That is a big relief, because when you write something like this…. you think it is worthwhile, but you don’t know till you get it out to folks to actually read.

trombeck

How does someone know the difference between normal grief, and the type of grief that requires counseling?

Larry Straub

I think that the difference between normal grief and something that requires professional help is whether you can work through it in a timely manner (maybe up to a few months) and more importantly is the grief you feel impacting your life significantly and negatively.

If you are loosing jobs, relationships are falling apart, if you are getting physically destructive to yourself or others… those are obvious signs that you need some professional help.

monkeywrench

any thoughts on how to approach the concept of death with children? especially as a nonchristian?

Larry Straub

I think there are two very important things working with children after the death of a loved one (especially if non christian). First is to let them know that the death was in no way there fault…. all of us tend to experience some guilt after a death, maybe we had not spent the time with a person that we had wished etc.. Kids will no doubt experience the same type of things, identify if there is any of this present and deal with it quickly and emphatically (make sure they understand that nothing they did made that person die).

Next, is to be there for them. Talk, listen and most importantly spend time with them. Always remember, time is our ally (this is especially true for children since they are young). Every day brings a little relieve…. be patient and loving.

Moderator

Are you working on any other books?

Larry Straub

Not actively at this time. I have a couple of things outlined that I may work on latter. I made myself a promise when I wrote this book that I would spend a intensive period of time (probably at least 2 years) actively promoting this book and getting it in as many peoples hands as possible.

My intent is not to be rich and famous, but the fact that I believe that this book can change peoples lives. That is why I wrote it and I feel a sense of responsibility to get it out as much as possible.

Moderator

Thanks to Larry Straub for being the subject of our online chat today. He’ll be in Lawrence for a discussion and signing from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday at Borders, 700 N.H.

Larry Straub

Thank you all for the questions and I would be glad to chat personally Saturday with anyone who stops by.