Two hours is long a time to waste. Sometimes the clock seems to stand still when one is stuck in a theater and forced to endure a movie that is boring, annoying, juvenile, confusing or offensive.

So now it’s time for a little payback. These pictures didn’t just fail to entertain, they somehow managed to cinematically abuse the viewer. In that respect, it’s been a good year for bad movies.

Alexander

It’s at least satisfying to note the year’s worst film is poised to become the biggest financial bomb in cinematic history. As of this week, “Alexander” has grossed only $34 million despite a reported $150 million to $200 million budget. Not since John Wayne played Genghis Khan in “The Conqueror” has a historical biopic been so miscast. Irish actor Colin Farrell is ridiculous as the blond-haired Macedonian. Worse is Angelina Jolie, who stars as Alexander’s mother despite their 11-month age difference. Director/co-writer Oliver Stone hits his career nadir with a tedious period piece that is incapable of creating a single character who can engage the audience. The movie is also a structural nightmare. It starts with Alexander as a boy, then inexplicably skips to when he is already a king on the eve of invading Persia. The narrative jump is equal to beginning “The Godfather” at Connie’s wedding then having the next scene take place after Michael has gunned down the heads of the other families.

What the Bleep Do We Know!?

My worst New Age nightmare took cinematic shape in this provocatively titled piece that attempts to explain quantum physics. The impenetrable picture relies on interview footage with scientists and philosophers such as Ramtha, a 35,000-year-old sage from the sunken city of Atlantis (as “channeled” by psychic JZ Knight). Interesting to note that shortly after “What the Bleep” was released it was revealed the trio of filmmakers who crafted the pseudo-documentary are disciples of Ramtha. Could this prompt Hollywood’s next Scientology-type craze?

New York Minute

Yes, the Olsen twins are an easy target (especially the druggy one). But what makes this fluffy comedy so offensive is its peripheral elements. There’s Andy Richter as a hoodlum who, because he is adopted by a Chinese family, speaks with a sub-Charlie Chan accent. Eugene Levy has the thankless job of a truant officer nemesis that conjures the pedophilic ghost of “Ferris Bueller’s” Jeffrey Jones. The rest of New York (which looks suspiciously like Toronto) is depicted at its stereotypical worst: inscrutable Asians, sassy hairdressing blacks and Kwik-E-Mart Arabs.

Catwoman

Colin Farrell rides to the top of the worst list with Alexander.

While “The Incredibles” and “Spider-Man 2” showcase the best-ever adaptations of superheroes to the screen, “Catwoman” provides the worst. Shot and edited like a cross between a cologne ad and an Ashlee Simpson video, the story hinges on a graphic artist (Halle Berry) who is brought back to life by a roving gang of cats infused with the power of the ancient Egyptian goddess Bast. OK … Berry’s dominatrix-style cat suit has more personality than anything else in this ridiculous feature.

Johnson Family Vacation

Among the hardest projects to endure is a comedy that isn’t funny. Say hello to “Johnson Family Vacation.” The rip-off of “National Lampoon’s Vacation” features a black cast (led by the usually reliable Cedric the Entertainer) yet a pale sense of humor. With infantile gags this sorry the viewer can’t help but ask, “Are we there yet?”

Yu-Gi-Oh

It’s hard to recall a movie that is more of a “sellout” than “Yu-Gi-Oh” — which is saying quite a lot when discussing Hollywood. This adaptation of the popular comic book/card game/TV show has more in common with an infomercial than a screenplay. At times anime monsters are duking it out for real. And other times the audience is watching characters play cards, complete with a running total of points at the bottom of the screen. Even an episode of “Teletubbies” has more street cred than this.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse

The year in film: ‘Eternal Sunshine’ brightens 2004 (12-31-04)

Of all the lousy sequels 2004 had to offer, this was the hardest to sit through. Calling the zombie-action flick derivative doesn’t quite capture it. Virtually every character, line of dialogue, set piece, creature design and fight scene is familiar. Hey, that’s from “Robocop.” Wow, that’s straight out of “Escape From New York.” Isn’t this just “28 Day Later?” Only the movie’s sheer joylessness eclipses its triteness.

The Company

Robert Altman, Kansas City’s most renowned filmmaker, is a unique talent. But the loose, improvised approach that makes his greatest works like “Nashville” so timeless is the same thing that makes his lesser efforts so intolerable. To call this backstage look at the Joffrey Ballet of Chicago dramatically inert is to oversell it. This is one of the few non-experimental films that is virtually without plot. The story has no arc, no suspense, no focus. Altman is dancing with himself.

Shark Tale

“Shrek 2” started a trend that reaches its nadir in this undersea comedy. The animated movie is so reliant on pop culture for its humor that the filmmakers choose to exploit any topical reference that can be twisted into a tropical reference. As a peripheral element, that’s OK, but “Shark Tale” ONLY constructs jokes by alluding to “Kelpie Kreme donuts” or “Gup jeans.” That’s not humor, that’s name-dropping. There’s a difference.

Beyond the Sea

What does “Ray” do that “Beyond the Sea” doesn’t? It casts the right person in the lead role. Director/star Kevin Spacey is utterly false as singer Bobby Darin — at no point does the 45-year-old actor ever create the illusion of the swoon-inducing hipster (who was a decade younger than Spacey when he died). I came away from this train wreck of a vanity project understanding little about Darin and wondering why he even warranted a movie made about his life. Where’s Jamie Foxx when you need him?

Dishonorable mention: “Against the Ropes,”“White Chicks,”“The Terminal,”“The Alamo,”“The Grudge.”

LJWorld.com’s look at 2004It was a year marked by local and national politics and the city’s 150th birthday. Top news and sports stories included a controversial smoking ban for Lawrence, a much ballyhooed visit by Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards and Kansas University’s basketball team making it to the Elite Eight in the NCAA tournament.Below you’ll find some of the top news, features, sports and images from 2004. 2004: The Year in Review A look back at the headlines of 2004 The past year saw some Lawrence residents dispatched to the war zones of Iraq. There were bitter divisions in a presidential election and a controversial ban on cigarette smoking in the city’s public spaces. A fiery grass-roots movement to unseat a Douglas County judge was noteworthy because it was so rare in state history. … Full story. Cup o’ Joel The most interesting Lawrencians of 2004 Excuse us, for a second, as we slip into our Barbara Walters mode. Walters a few weeks back made a splash by announcing her list of 10 Most Fascinating People of 2004 — and naming Paris Hilton one of the lucky few. … Full story. Journal-World – The top stories of 2004 Smoking ban tops list A ban on smoking in Lawrence’s indoor public places and the continuing fallout over the decision was voted the top Lawrence news story in a year that included slayings, visits by a former president and a presidential candidate, and successful seasons by Kansas University athletic teams. The ban was passed as a public health measure, to protect employees and patrons of businesses from the dangers of secondhand smoke. … Full story. 6News – Top 10 stories 2004 Top 10 stories The smoking ban, the season ticket point system for the Kansas men’s basketball games and the death of Mary Miller are just some of the stories chosen by the 6News staff as some of the important news events in Lawrence this year. … Full story. KUsports.com – The Year in Sports Woodling: ’04 was eventful at KU Such historical events as the retirement of longtime women’s basketball coach Marian Washington punctuated 2004 in Kansas University athletics. The calendar year also produced such trifles as the renaming of the ancient rivalry between Kansas and Missouri. … Full story. Photos of the Year Photo Gallery: 2004 in Focus Journal-World photographers gave us the images that brought the stories home … See the photos. Lawrence.com – Year in Review Top ‘stories’ of 2004 The year 2004 will likely go down as a year nobody can remember much about. After all, it’s overshadowed by 2001 and marred by events we’ll do our best to forget — a regrettable war, a confounding election, the rise of the machines, the complete disappearance of Ricky Martin, etc. … Full story. Best of local music 2004 Step aside, Mannheim Steamroller. Same to you, Bright Eyes. Lawrence music is where it’s at this Christmas season, and Omaha’s stale cookies are due for humiliation. … Full story. 6Sports — Top Stories 6Sports video: Top 10 KU Plays of the Year From the basketball team’s sweep of Missouri to the Big 12 soccer championship and the Sunflower Showdown against Kansas State, 2004 was one of the most memorable years in Jayhawk history. But what were the best plays of the year? … Full story. The Year in Film Best of Film: ‘Eternal Sunshine’ brightens 2004Worst of Film: ‘Alexander’ conquers list of worst films in 2004 Jon Niccum sorts through the year’s slate of movies to pick the ones that really rocked and the ones that, well, did not rock quite as much. … Full story. Links New Year’s Eve events Agencies announce closings for holiday (12-31-01) School funding ruling dominates state news (01-01-05) Bush’s election victory No. 1 story of ’04 (01-01-05)