Cake gets way too much action, if you ask me. There’s all this television fuss over cake. Cake Boss, Ace of Cakes, yada yada.

I mean, I generally won’t turn down a piece of cake, but that’s not saying much because I can’t think of anything, at this moment, that I’d turn down, food-wise.

But cake, in my never-to-be-humble opinion, is usually highly over-rated. It can look really cool, but for my money, fondant is generally undesirable in that it is fussy to work with and tastes like a door knob. Cake is high maintenance, low reward.

Pie is delicious, but it has its drawbacks, mostly in the serving category. My slices always look all slidey and sloppy, and crusts can be a little complicated. Ice cream is fantastic, but it melts, it’s messy, and making your own can take some time.

And, as you all know, I tire of the brownie. Which leaves cookies. Glorious, humble cookies – the quiet middle children of the dessert world. No fork or plate necessary, no problems with portion sizes, melting frosting, falling layers. Portable, perfect.

Cookies are a great place to show off your creativity. And, nothing says home lovin’ like a hot plate of cookies. Fancy or plain, the cookie is always divine. Cookies can showcase our favorite ingredient, be it M and M’s, coconut, chocolate chips, macademia nuts, or Hershey’s kisses. And they function as excellent dunkers in milk or coffee. Best of all, most cookie recipes are fairly simple and don’t require any bizarre or temperamental ingredients.

What is not to love?

For those of you who are storebought “dough log” adherents, let me just say this: I get it. The ease of use is like a drug. But really, to make your own is barely harder. It’s less expensive and it’s more fun. And, usually, the result is astoundingly better.

Let’s start with the basic chocolate chip.

Here’s my mother’s recipe, which really never can fail:

The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies Ever

• 1 C butter
• 3/4 C brown sugar
• 3/4 C white sugar*
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla*
• 2 1/2 C flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 12 oz bag chocolate chips
• 1 C chopped pecans (optional, but delicious)

Step 1)
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Blend butter, and cream in the sugar. Add the rest of the wet ingredients and beat.

Step 2)
In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt.

Step 3)
Add the dry ingredients to the wet, slowly. When they are fully mixed, add the chocolate chips.

I like to make my cookies HUGE. They are so impressive that way, but they don’t go nearly as far. So, if you are normal, you’ll drop them by the tablespoonful on an ungreased cookie sheet and cook them for 10 minutes. Do not over bake them. An underbaked cookie is a far, far better thing.

NOTES:
Some people stand by shortening as well as butter, in half ratios, to make what they believe to be a better cookie. This is a matter of preference. I like my chocolate chip cookies flat and gooey, but some people prefer them to stand up more and be thicker. Shortening will get you that result.

Also, instead of just letting your butter stand and get soft at room temperature, I recommend melting it (VERY CAREFULLY) in the microwave, at a very low setting. It will mix in more evenly with the other ingredients. It goes without saying that you should use real butter instead of margarine, right?

*Also, I always use extra brown sugar and less white sugar, and I toss in an extra tsp or two of REAL vanilla. Other than that, the chocolate chip cookie is basically fool-proof. If you are like me, you will buy bulk bags of chocolate chips so you are never too far away from a good batch of cookies. A purist in many ways, I prefer a chocolate chip cookie above all others.

And here is my mother’s basic sugar cookie. Again, I think it’s good to start simple and move forward from there. Let’s get our standards perfect before we go getting out our cookie presses and lemon zesters, right?

This sugar cookie is the best sugar cookie you’ll ever eat. I give you my word. And it’s even cooler because it is a recipe handed to my mother from her friend Zelda in 1970. ZELDA. And, Zelda is the mother of the famous and fabulous Steve Zahn. You know, that guy from Rescue Dawn, SubUrbia, That Thing You Do… So, this is not only an infinitely delicious sugar cookie – it’s also dipped in tradition and COOL.

Zelda Zahn’s Sugar Cookies

• 1/2 C butter
• 1/2 C shortening (I don’t recommend subbing more butter for this one)
• 1 tsp cream of tartar
• 2 C flour
• 1/2 C brown sugar
• 1/2 C white sugar
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 beaten egg
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp vanilla

Step 1)
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. As usual, mix the wet ingredients first (butter softened or melted, of course) in a large bowl.

Step 2)
Mix the dry ingredients in a separate bowl, and slowly add them to the wet, carefully beating until everything is well mixed.

Step 3)
This is KEY. Refrigerate this dough for an hour.

Step 4)
Roll your dough into balls, and place them on a cookie sheet. Then smear some crisco on the bottom of a regular-sized water glass. Dip the glass into granulated sugar and then press it gently onto the ball, smashing the ball into a disk the approximate size of the glass. Repeat sugaring and smashing for every ball. You will not have to reapply shortening to your glass.

Bake for 6 minutes apiece.

I can’t leave a discussion of cookies without pointing you to these beauties. My grandmother used to make them, and they were my favorites. We just referred to them around our house as “Hundred Goods”, and good they are. And, while we’re at it, for the easiest cookie your friends will ever fight over, try these, which are standard issue at my friend Trina’s lovely soirees.

Soon, we’ll talk about all manner of fancier and more specialty cookies, but for now, go home and start with the basics. And appreciate them for their perfect simplicity while you eat them without dirtying a fork or plate, because really, avoiding doing dishes is like having your cookie and eating it too.