My sister “loves a good dough.”

I, on the other, hand, cannot be bothered. Baking, it turns out, is for people who (unlike me) do not have ADD.

For her, messing with dough is like therapy. For me, it’s just a mess. A flour-in-the-cracks-between-the-leaves-of-my-table, dirty-clothes-and-floor, failed-project, mess.This is not to say I don’t appreciate baking and dough-related endeavors. For those things, I have the utmost respect.

I mean, there’s Bakerella. The treats she makes are so fanciful, I begin to imagine myself a pastry person, and I daydream about fluffy pink cakes and confections on sticks. Not that I’d eat them – I don’t have a sweet tooth much. And there’s Baker’s Cakes. I like to lurk there and pretend I am the kind of person who makes that kind of thing.

Once I saw a Miami Ink where Kat Von D tattooed cupcakes and candies all over a girl’s torso. I totally loved that, and am considering a similar motif for a nursery if my baby is a girl. That wouldn’t send the wrong message, would it? I digress.

I look at baking websites, like a voyeur. I walk past patisseries and bakeries and ogle. I even registered for some cake pans when I got married. So far, I have only used my new fancy cake pan to hold other non-essential cooking utensils, like cookie cutters (which I have a trillion of because I can’t resist them, yet have never used a-one) and pastry blenders and flour sifters. In light of an upcoming Valentine’s Day, though, I give you these: they are some of the very few things I have ever (semi-successfully) made that sort of count as baked goods. Nevermind that most of these things are partially storebought or come from a box. They look really, really fancy, and taste even better.

So, for those of you who, like me, are lured by the siren song of a beautiful baked good, want to impress your Valentine, or stalk that guy at work, but cannot manage to pipe frosting or whip without making butter, make these. They are sure to knock someone naked.

First, the naughty ice cream sandwich, courtesy of Pinch My Salt.

http://worldonline.media.clients.ellingtoncms.com/img/blogs/entry_img/2009/Feb/01/ice_cream_sandwich.bmp

Second, cake balls. (Heh, I said balls.) I have seen versions at both The Pioneer Woman and Bakerella.

http://worldonline.media.clients.ellingtoncms.com/img/blogs/entry_img/2009/Feb/01/cake_balls.jpg

Bakerella has like a million ways to fancy up these items. Just put in cake balls (heh, balls) in the search tool at the top and you’ll see all the many oh-so-adorable (read: I secretly hate her) variations she has made on this theme.

Anyway, if you are not a baker, as I am not, even you can look like a pro. I promise you that I have made both of these things, to great success. I would show you pictures, but I am a crappy photographer and long ago gave up taking pictures of my endeavors. That’s it – it’s the photography. It has nothing to do with the way my food looked. Nothing at all.