Holiday time often means family time. It may involve family members or in-laws you don’t see very often, which can lead to awkward conversation. We came up with some scenarios to lighten the mood, get the ball rolling or stop an unpleasant line of questioning in its tracks.

Why are you still single?

• I can’t afford the cover charge at Tonic.
• No one actually looks like their avatar.
• My cat gets lonely, so I don’t get out much.

When are you getting married?

• When KU wins a national football title.
• We’re waiting until Lawrence is occupied.
• When Nana gets on Facebook.

When are you two going to have kids (or more kids)?

• When the Duggars are finished, we’ll start.
• We’re waiting to see how Justin Bieber handles parenthood.
• We adopted a fish; you wanna see pictures!?

How’s school going?

• I’ll probably be at KU longer than Turner Gill.
• No use at getting out any time soon — the economy stinks.
• I see no need to graduate until the Border War resumes.

How’s the job search going?

• I tweet my résumé daily. (Please RT!)
• The barista market is super competitive.
• I’m working on my Etsy store until I get my government bailout.

Been hit hard by the economy?

• I’ve had to downsize to a Venti.
• I’ve actually cracked open my cookbooks.
• I didn’t spend a dime on Christmas decorations, can you tell?

Other questions

Who do you think will win the Lions/Cowboys/Ravens games?

Tim Tebow?

How’s your 401(k) looking?

Like I’ll be retiring when I have great-grandchildren.

You’re wasting way, have you lost weight?

Nope, same size as last time.

Conversation starters

• Where will Turner Gill be working next year?
• Are you among the 99 percent?
• Do you Tebow?

Conversation stoppers

• Answer to any rude question about your job/work/school life: Better than your diet.
• Which church are you attending these days?
• Sooo, Herman Cain …