Raleigh, N.C. ? Brides are still saying “I do” in 2009, but they’re saying “I don’t” to lavish weddings.

For many, spending $22,000 and up is unrealistic amid a recession. Some brides are taking the do-it-yourself route, making their own invitations, centerpieces and favors.

They’re cutting out open bars and limousines. And they’re playing hardball with vendors, asking for additional discounts before signing contracts.

Nervous business owners are responding with deals and discount packages to lure budget-minded brides as their busiest season gets under way.

Belinda Chang married in March in Chicago and said the banquet hall where she had the reception cut her a 20 percent discount for getting married in early spring rather than in the prime summer season. The facility also discounted some food and decorations. And she saved by making the centerpieces and save-the-date cards herself, buying supplies on clearance.

Chang came in well under her $15,000 budget, spending roughly $12,000.

“We spent the money where I felt we should spend it,” said Chang, 25, who recently moved from Cary, N.C., to Pittsburgh. “I really don’t think people need to spend so much on a wedding.”

For businesses dealing with such value-driven brides, it’s the bargains that do the talking.

By the numbers

Weddings are expected to bring in $56.8 billion this year in the United States, according to The Wedding Report. That’s down from $60.4 billion in 2008.

Couples, on average, are expected to spend $20,398. Last year, the average was $21,814.

“We try to work with them with their budget in mind, but it’s even a little bit more than we’ve ever had to in the past,” said David Richter, one of two co-owners of HeartStrings Music in Chapel Hill, which provides harp and guitar music for weddings.

HeartStrings recently introduced a 25 percent discount for the rest of 2009, the biggest discount it has ever offered. A bride who would normally pay about $600 will pay only about $450. Richter said he views the discount as marketing.

“It does need to come out to more than $1 an hour, but the more jobs that we do, the more people will know us and request us,” he said. “It will all sort of pay for itself.”

Likewise, Savvi Formalwear in Raleigh, N.C., introduced discount packages in November. Brides get a 10 percent discount on gowns and a 20 percent discount for bridesmaids’ dresses if they are all purchased at Savvi. Add the groom’s and groomsmen’s tuxedos or suits, and the gown discount goes to 20 percent.

The promotion is so popular that 96 percent of brides take advantage of it, said owner Denise Maeyaert.

Other business owners also took an active approach.

When Kristen Klett and Melissa Windley saw the economy going sour, they added a do-it-yourself section to their custom invitation shop in Cary.

The Green Kangaroo will help the bride design her invitations and do the printing, but then the company hands over the invitation components and the bride assembles them herself. That shaves roughly 15 percent off the cost, Klett said.

Location, location

One place where brides aren’t scrimping is venue. Ashley Carmichael, coordinator of events for the Sarah P. Duke Gardens in Durham, N.C. — long a popular spot for weddings — said so far demand is just as strong as last year. But, with the economy in mind, the Duke Gardens’ rates were not raised this year.

At Second Empire in Raleigh, special events manager Tracy Thorpe is trying to help brides on a budget by pointing out that the restaurant will waive its $1,000 room rental fee if the event takes place before 4:30 p.m.

“People used to just have Saturday events,” she said. “But they are being a lot more flexible this year. . . . I’ve even had rehearsal dinners on Thursday nights now because people are getting married on Friday.”

The best advice is for frugal brides to set priorities, said Sheila Ogle, owner of the Matthews House.

“You have to make concessions based on what you want,” she said. “If somebody will come in and tell us, ‘I have $15,000 I can spend,’ we can say, ‘OK, do you want to have three things on your food table and no wine and invite 200 people, or do you want to invite 50 people and have a really nice wedding?'”

That advice sits well with brides such as Jane Bell, 30, who is getting married in October at a resort in Jamaica.

For staying at the resort seven days, the resort is throwing in the wedding for free, said Bell. She thinks she saved at least $3,000 by having it there and hosting a reception at home in Durham.

“If mommy and daddy are footing the bill, that’s great. But let’s be realistic. … I own a house. I could take out a home equity loan and have a much bigger wedding, but that’s just not prudent.”