Carmen Hocking

Wedding planning is good practice for marriage. Habits that you establish during the wedding planning process are a good predictor for habits you will develop during marriage.

10 Must do’s when you are planning your “I Do’s”

1) Establish a budget

Large or small, get serious about setting a budget. This is a wedding planning tip you should not ignore.The budget will be a driving force for decision making and family harmony. As soon as you can, you and your fiance should sit down and discuss the vision of your wedding day. There are so many options to review and choose from that the process can be overwhelming! With your fiance and parents, discuss the type of wedding that suits your personality and budget: location, formality, number of guests, and if it will be a religious ceremony or not. Talk with your parents about what financial assistance, if any, they can provide. Establish your budget and how expenses will be shared.

2) Choosing a wedding date

He asked, and you said “yes”. For some couples, it’s easy – they know just when to tie the knot. For others, it’s less clear. You have a lot of options. Consider your dream locations. If you have your heart set on having your wedding at your church, temple or synagogue, the availability will probably play a large part in the date you select. Contact the wedding facilitator at that location to inquire about available dates. This is also true of your wedding reception location. When possible, book wedding sites and reception sites at least a year or more in advance as popular venues will be booked up very early. Ensure you get your provisional booking in writing as well as a breakdown of the services that will be provided on the day and the total cost. If you have always dreamed of having an outdoor reception in a local garden or park, you had better give them a call, venues like this are generally best at certain times of the year and they tend to book quickly. Consider work and school schedules, “parent’s day” at college, major sporting events, other local events, graduation, holidays and seasons. Another factor to consider, besides the possibility of dismal weather, is how many guests are due from out-of-town. Flying in for a holiday wedding can strain a budget, plus airlines often charge extra during the season such as Christmas. The month you choose will undeniably have an impact on the tone for your celebration.

3) Plan ahead and hire a experienced professional Wedding Consultant

Planning IS everything! If you are finding that making plans for your wedding is a bit overwhelming, you may appreciate the assistance of a wedding consultant. From keeping your budget on track, to supervising the flow of events, to arranging meetings with vendors, wedding consultants can take a lot of pressure off your shoulders. Hiring an experienced professional wedding consultant will become part of your budget, not an added expense. You can hire a wedding consultant to handle every detail of your celebration or just assist you for specific tasks such as finding the perfect site or vendor. A wedding consultant cannot only avert disaster in the making, but can also deal behind the scene with mishaps that can occur — leaving the bride, groom and their families blissfully unaware and free to enjoy the celebration. This person will help you plan and personalize your wedding to bring your dream wedding to reality. The quality of service you get comes only from the quality of experience your wedding consultant has, so pick a good one!

4) Choose a reliable, considerate person to be your Maid (Matron) of Honor and Best Man

This person will be extremely important to you. Choose them wisely. You need a person who will be your right hand, before, during, and after right up until your return from your honeymoon. They will both play a very big part in the smooth transition of your wedding day so do not make the mistake of choosing a selfish or inconsiderate relative or a false friend out of obligation or because it’s expected of you. Choose the person you feel most comfortable with. Just because you were their bridesmaid or groomsmen in their wedding, is not a good enough reason. You were probably the perfect choice but that does not mean that the same kindness will be bestowed on you in return so do not stress or ruin your day trying to please everyone, please yourself first and foremost — it’s your special day. Delegate responsibilities appropriately.

5) Contracts

Before entering into a contract, read it thoroughly and find out what their services include and ask questions if you are not clear about something that is stated in the contract. A contract is a legally binding, written agreement signed by two or more parties, which spells out their obligations to each other. Once it is in force, it generally cannot be changed or broken unless both parties agree. Therefore, before you sign a contract, be sure you really need, want and can afford the product or service for which you are signing. Be sure you understand every word it contains. You, your fiance and your parents should all read over the contract before signing. Regardless of what the contract is for, make sure you get a copy. Deal with only reputable individuals or companies and find out if there are any provisions for canceling the contract, and what the provisions are. Make sure that all promises made are written into the contract in addition to all the terms and conditions of the service. Make sure all blank spaces are filled in. Never let yourself be pressured into signing. Take your time.

6) Stationery

Prior to ordering your wedding invitations, consolidate all guests lists: bride’s, groom’s, bride’s family, and groom’s family. Organize the lists into three categories: those you must be invited, those who should be invited, and those whom it would be nice to invite. Remember to order for the number of addresses, not the number of guests. Your wedding invitations will set the tone for your wedding. *Number your reply cards. On occasion, a reply card is sent back with no name filled in. A little trick which will ensure that you avoid this problem all together — place a small, inconspicuous number on the back of each reply card before enclosing it with the invitation. Use a list to record each guest’s name along with the number on the reply card you are enclosing with them. This way, if someone should forget to fill in their name, a quick glance at your list will tell you precisely who the reply belongs to.Your invitations should be sent out at least two months before your wedding to guests who live far away from the wedding location and four to six weeks out to guests who live close to the wedding location. This is especially true during the months of July to September when most people have pre-booked their holidays. Personalized stationery will add a touch of class from the onset and is second to none in appearance, quality and style and there is no comparison to the off the shelf versions. Personalized stationery will also save you from all the tediousness of writing the venue address on each of the envelopes. Quality stationery is always a worthwhile investment as well as a keepsake to display in your photo album forever. Going one step further, consider hiring a professional Calligrapher to address each of your invitation envelopes. This adds a beautiful finishing touch to your invitations.

7) Decide if you want to include children among the guests

If you are inviting young children to your wedding consider reserving a separate room at your reception venue site to use as a play room and hire experienced sitters. This is a service that a professional wedding consultant can help you with. Remember the location of the room should be close to restrooms. Consider entertainment for them such as a magician or a balloon artist. Have coloring books, crayons, DVD’s, taking into account all ages. You could even provide them with their own little wedding party in the room giving them food they will like and will eat, therefore, saving you money. Professional staffing does not cost that much and usually charges by the hour and you will only need them for a few hours. You can even give each child an attendance/good behavior certificate before they leave.

8) Ask Yourself: Does Traditional work for you?

Invitations don’t need to be formal: Guests don’t need to sit at large round tables of eight: Your bridesmaids’ dresses do not have to match: Your reception table centerpieces do not have to all be the same: Your rehearsal dinner does not have to be the evening before the wedding, etc. Make decisions that make sense to you, your guests, and your budget. Be creative and enjoy being unique in your ideas that reflect your personality and that of your fiance.

9) Plan and time your photos appropriately

Many couples spend a great deal of their wedding day posing for a professional photographer. If great photos are a top priority, then make sure that your waiting guests have great entertainment, sometime to drink and eat and go for it. If you want to spend more time with your guests, then consider having photos taken before the ceremony. Encourage candid photos as well. Consider your guests. Yes the day is all about you, but. . . while you are getting your photos taken, keep waiting to a minimum, thoughtful seating arrangements and great entertainment. Not only will you remember your special day, but your guests will also.

10) Delegate! Especially wedding weekend tasks

From the moment your wedding weekend begins, you will want to focus on yourself, your groom, your families and your guests, not worry about execution of wedding details. With foresight, you can delegate the necessary last minute details to the many people who offer assistance. Take people up on their offers of help — they want to help, and you need their help! During the wedding planning process, there will perhaps be times of stress and frustration. Although every wedding couple has the highest expectations of perfection for their special day, keep in mind that the wedding reception is a party to celebrate the marriage. Don’t stop the planning now — plan your honeymoon, too.