I don’t cluck, I don’t have a gizzard, and I certainly don’t do the chicken dance.

I’m sure Bryan Reynolds, who was the DJ at my wedding in September, was crushed to hear that when my fiancee and I met with him to talk about reception music.

His company, Complete Music, had more than a dozen of what I call “participatory dances” on the form we had to fill out for the wedding. (They call those “ice breakers” on the form.)

We were supposed to check the ones we wanted played. They were all blank.

You know the type of song I’m talking about: “YMCA,” “Macarena,” “Cha-Cha Slide,” “Electric Slide,” “Cotton-Eyed Joe,” “Chicken Dance,” “Bunny Hop” and anything else that either tells you how to dance, or else requires masses of people to dance in simultaneous motions.

I have some sort of deep-rooted hatred of these types of songs that probably goes back to my days of sitting – and certainly not dancing – at middle-school dances, only to be called a “waffle butt” by the DJ. I was scarred.

So when Jana and I started talking about what music we should have at our wedding reception, it was something I took interest in (more so than, say, the color of flowers on the church pews). Besides, I’ve been a musician my whole life, and though I have wide-ranging interests, I can be a bit of a music snob.

Jana and I came up with a general list of suggestions for Bryan, including songs and genres we wanted played, and those we didn’t want. It was a full sheet of paper, type-written, single-spaced.

Example: Old country and bluegrass were OK. New country – except for a very short list lobbied for by Jana – was out.

Another example: Rap is out. Other than “Baby Got Back,” which for whatever reason is a wedding staple, at least in my circles.

And certainly: No participatory dances. No matter how much Jana pleads for the “Cotton-Eyed Joe.”

I’ll admit I felt like we were being control freaks, so when I started writing this column, I contacted Bryan to get his take on things. He eased my mind.

“I have a wedding this weekend,” he said, “and the bride and groom gave me a two-page list of songs to play and, in bold letters, it says, ‘NO CHICKEN DANCE, NO MACARENA, NO ELECTRIC SLIDE!’ Some people really have it out for those songs.”

Generally, he said, the music selection process works this way: “Brides will tell you what they want; the grooms will tell you what they don’t want. Usually the groom tells me to play whatever the bride wants – just keep her happy, you know? However, the groom usually gets one veto. Normally, it’s used on the ‘Chicken Dance.'”

Bryan explained to Jana and me – and reiterated recently – that a good reception is all about playing songs that keep people on the dance floor. He starts with the oldies – songs like “Shout” – and gradually moves toward newer tunes, and songs that might not appeal to grandparents, such as “Baby Got Back.” (For the record, I did have an aunt call that song “obscene”).

While Bryan likes having guidance from a couple – a detailed list is good – he also prefers to have that and the flexibility to mix things up when needed. After all, he said, a couple isn’t always perfect at guessing their audience’s music taste.

He compares it to a recent high school dance.

“One time, I was DJing a high school that wanted hip-hop and rap the whole night, according to the class president,” Bryan said. “But the song that got the biggest response, with everyone dancing, is – and I’m not kidding – ‘Footloose.’ Soulja Boy cannot TOUCH Kenny Loggins.”

And that might even mean he has to call an audible on a couple’s ban on participatory dances – with the bride and groom’s permission, of course.

“The more participatory songs – ‘YMCA,’ the ‘Cha-Cha Slide’ – the better,” Bryan said. “Those songs can save a dance if it’s going south.”

Thank goodness he didn’t have to resort to those drastic measures at our reception. I would have had to shake my chicken-dance tail feathers, and nobody wants to see that.