Q: Dear J.T. & Dale: My first annual performance review was more than seven months late. When we finally sat down, it was a satisfying review, and I received my increase. It’s now almost two months past my second anniversary, and this time my manager said that I was valued and that I would be receiving double the increase I received last time – although, since it’s not in the budget, it would take a while. After a few weeks, when I expressed eagerness to get the raise and to sit down and talk, she said, “There’s nothing left to talk about.” I’ve been able to maintain a professional demeanor (not been angry or demanding), but I’m flummoxed! – Kathleen

J.T.: You assert that you’ve not acted angry, but remember that nine-tenths of communication is nonverbal (e.g., body language, eye contact, etc.). Moreover, sometimes NOT saying anything conveys more anger than actually discussing it. In short, I wonder whether you aren’t concealing it as well as you might think. I suspect that’s why your manager shut down on the subject.

Dale: But, Kathleen, why the anger? You’ve gotten compliments, a raise and the promise of another one. What you need to understand is that the annual performance review is a dying bit of bureaucracy. The trend in management, starting with the book “The One-Minute Manager,” is for immediate feedback. Good bosses understand that if you are hearing something new in an annual review, they’ve failed. And if there’s nothing new to say, why have the review?

So, rather than ask for a formal discussion, ask for more “minute” reviews, saying things like, “How could I have done better in that presentation?” Let your boss know you want her comments, without her feeling pressured.

J.T.: Speaking of which, I’d go to your boss and say: “I want to tell you that I love working here, and I felt the last meeting we had didn’t go so well. I hope I haven’t come across as too intense. I want you to know that I understand your situation.” By having this conversation, you might just encourage your manager to go to bat for you again and work to get your raise resolved more quickly. But never forget this: Regardless of how effective you are on the job, if your attitude makes others uncomfortable, you are not going to be perceived as much of an asset as you believe.

If that happens, you won’t want to get a performance review.