Woodling: And the Woodling goes to …
Now that the Oscars have been handed out, it’s time to reveal my Big 12 Conference men’s basketball awards.
None of these listings below have been certified by Price Waterhouse, nor were any hermetically sealed in a mayonnaise jar.
All selections were made based on games seen in person, games seen on television and games read about in the newspaper, and are totally biased.
All-Big 12
Andre Emmett, Texas Tech
John Lucas, Oklahoma State
Tony Allen, Oklahoma State
Brandon Mouton, Texas
Wayne Simien, Kansas
Second team: David Harrison and Michel Morandais, Colorado; Rickey Paulding and Arthur Johnson, Missouri; Keith Langford, Kansas.
Third team: Curtis Stinson and Jackson Vroman, Iowa State; P.J. Tucker, Texas; Terrance Thomas, Baylor; Jeremiah Massey, Kansas State.
Fourth team: Aaron Miles, Kansas; Jake Sullivan, Iowa State; Nate Johnson, Nebraska; Joey Graham, Oklahoma State; Blair Wilson, Colorado.
Comment: Mouton disappeared Monday night in Stillwater, but he’s still the best player on the league’s second-best team.
All-Newcomer
Joey Graham, Oklahoma State
Jeremiah Massey, Kansas State
Jason Conley, Missouri
Brother’s guidance vital for Olson
6Sports video: Seniors preparing speeches
Live updates via cell phoneDevonne Giles, Texas Tech
Daniel Bobik, Oklahoma State
Comment: Thirty years ago, Bobik’s father, Ralph, was credited with 10 assists as Creighton fell to Kansas, 55-54, in an NCAA Tournament first-round game in Tulsa, Okla.
All-Freshman
Drew Lavender, Oklahoma
Curtis Stinson, Iowa State
P.J. Tucker, Texas
Jarrius Jackson, Texas Tech
J.R. Giddens, Kansas
Comment: Stinson is two years and two days older than Giddens, who turned 19 on Feb. 13.
All-Underrated
Jared Homan, Iowa State
Lamar Harris, Colorado
Brian Conklin, Nebraska
Andy Slocum, Texas A&M
Jason Klotz, Texas
Comment: If you could combine Conklin, who can shoot but can’t board, with Slocum, who can rebound but doesn’t have a shot, you would have an NBA lottery pick.
All-Sophomore Jinx
Antoine Wright, Texas A&M
Kevin Bookout, Oklahoma
De’Angelo Alexander, Oklahoma
Jeff Hawkins, Kansas
Brad Buckman, Texas
Comment: Bookout was finally shut down because of a shoulder injury. At least he had an excuse.
All-Southpaw
Keith Langford, Kansas
Jeremiah Massey, Kansas State
Travon Bryant, Missouri
Andy Slocum, Texas A&M
Johnnie Gilbert, Oklahoma
Comment: Curiously, they’re all big men except Langford.
All-Melting Pot
Michel Morandais, Colorado (French West Indies)
Sydmill Harris, Texas (Netherlands)
Damion Staple, Iowa State (Jamaica)
Robert Tomaszek, Texas Tech (Poland)
Leandro Garcia-Morales, Texas A&M (Uruguay)
Comment: Is Sydmill the Dutch word for windmill?
All-Oval Office
(Chester Alan) Arthur Johnson, Missouri
David (William Henry) Harrison, Colorado
Jarrius (Andrew) Jackson, Texas Tech
Blair (Woodrow) Wilson, Colorado
Kenny (Zachary) Taylor, Texas
Comment: My favorite member of this team has always been Paul (Franklin) Pierce.
All-Popcorn
Blair (Witch Project) Wilson, Colorado
(Freddy vs.) Jason Detrick, Oklahoma
Drew Lavender (Hill Mob), Oklahoma
Ronald (Glengarry Glen) Ross, Texas Tech
Royal (Tenenbaums) Ivey, Texas
Comment: Five thumbs up.
All-Red Ryder Rifle Ammo
Brad Buckman, Texas
Brian Boddicker, Texas
Billy Boidock, Colorado
Blake Bauer, Kansas State
Brooke Baughman, Texas Tech
Comment: Baughman is on Tech’s women’s team, but what the heck?
All Three-Point Shooter
Brian Conklin, Nebraska
Brian Boddicker, Texas
John Lucas, Oklahoma State
Jake Sullivan, Iowa State
Blair Wilson, Colorado
Comment: Who says big men can’t shoot? Conklin, who stands 6-11, and Boddicker, who is 6-8, rank 1-2 in Big 12 three-point field goal percentage stats.
All-New York City
Royal Ivey, Texas (Queens)
Curtis Stinson, Iowa State (Bronx)
Devonne Giles, Texas Tech (Newark)
Russell Robinson, Kansas-to-be (Manhattan)
Donald Trump, You’re Fired (Manhattan)
Comment: What … nobody from Brooklyn?