In an instant, at least two lives were forever changed.

On Dec. 4, 2002, Ron Downing didn’t just lose his wife; his newborn baby also lost her mother.

“We both have a bond already,” Downing said, with 7-month-old Francesca sitting on his lap. “It’s kind of weird. It’s like she knows my needs and I know her needs.”

Ron Downing’s wife, 31-year-old Tisha Downing, died in a car accident on U.S. Highway 40. She was driving home from the grocery store when a 19-year-old driver slammed head-on into her minivan.

According to the Kansas Highway Patrol’s report on the accident, the driver was passing on a hill in a no-passing zone. Charley R. Davis, 19, of Lawrence, now faces involuntary manslaughter charges in Douglas County District Court.

Davis is scheduled to stand trial Sept. 17.

Not a scratch

Francesca, or “Frankie” as her parents called her, was 6 weeks old and also in the van during the accident. Downing said it was a miracle his daughter was not injured.

“I spent literally three hours putting that car seat in the car to make sure it wouldn’t budge an inch,” Downing said. “All of the windows shattered. Her whole car seat was filled with glass, and she didn’t have one scratch on her.”

Ron Downing lost his wife, Tisha, about six months ago in a traffic accident on U.S. Highway 40. His daughter, Frankie, who is now 7 months old, was in the car but was not harmed. On Saturday, Downing and his friends and family will honor Tisha Downing, shown in the photograph at right, in a golf tournament at Alvamar Country Club. Ron Downing kissed his daughter on Wednesday outside their Tonganoxie home.

The accident left Downing, assistant superintendent at Alvamar Golf Club, to simultaneously raise his daughter on his own and cope with his wife’s death.

“I think the most difficult thing with everything that’s happened is raising her to know who her mom was and instilling her mom’s character in her,” Downing said.

At just 7 months, his daughter already shows signs of his wife.

“Her smile and her eyes are definitely her mom’s, and she’s got her mom’s personality.”

Parenting progress

Downing, who had never baby-sat a day in his life, moved back in with his parents in rural Tonganoxie after the accident. His mother and sister now provide day care for Frankie while Downing is at work. They also help with the feeding and bathing, though Downing says he’s changed his fair share of diapers.

“There’s so much support; I couldn’t have done it without them,” he said. “There’s just so many people to thank. I couldn’t have done it without my family.”

Downing and his daughter soon will move out on their own for the first time since the accident more than six months ago.

“It’s going to be kind of scary. We haven’t been alone, me having to take care of her by myself without my mom or somebody coming upstairs in the middle of the night. It’s going to take a while, probably, to get acclimated to that adjustment, but we’re going to be fine.”

Fund-raiser planned

Downing said he also wanted to make sure Frankie was taken care of financially in the future, as well as Tisha’s two young children from a previous marriage who are now living with their father.

“It’s a goal of mine to make sure their future is secure,” Downing said.

He’s organized the first Tisha L. Downing Memorial Golf Tournament, which will be Saturday at Alvamar. The event, which already has about 144 people entered, is designed to honor the memory of Downing’s wife while raising money for the Tisha L. Downing Memorial Scholarship Fund.

Downing also has established a $500 scholarship in Tisha’s name at Eudora High School, where Tisha worked at the time of the accident. The first scholarship was awarded at Eudora High’s graduation in May, and scholarships will go to a graduating senior for at least the next three years. Downing says those are the students who would remember his wife.

Painful adjustments

The memories are tough for Downing, who was married for just a year before his wife was killed.

“At this point, it’s a lot of times just taking one day at a time. You just have to do the best you can,” he said.

As he watched his daughter, who’s on the verge of crawling and getting her first two teeth, Downing said despite the obvious challenges, being a father for the first time was incredibly rewarding.

He said just looking into Frankie’s eyes helped the pain.

“She’s what makes my clock tick; without her, I’d basically be a clock with dead batteries,” he said.