My mother used to make pink lemonade pie in the summers. I love pink lemonade. I love pie. Perfection. In my mind, pink lemonade pie is synonymous with summer. Some people, when they think of summer, think of pools and bare legs. If you’re Mr. Meat and Potatoes, you think of watermelon (tastes like disappointment) and golf (seems like plain torture). But I think of pink lemonade, and pie.

On Friday, all I could think about was pink lemonade pie. My whole weekend was tied up in the image of that pie. I was going to have THE PERFECT Memorial Day weekend, complete with Farmer’s Market, garage sales, cookouts, swimming pools, and most importantly, summer’s pie, sent straight from the baby Jesus. Without the pie, the weekend would just be another weekend. The pie, the pie. Symbolic of everything this three day weekend meant to me.

So, without further adieu, here it is:

Pink Lemonade Pie

1 graham cracker crust (You can make it yourself or buy it. Usually I smash my own crackers but this weekend I wanted simplicity in every possible form – and that included spending as little time in the kitchen as possible.)
1 6 oz can frozen pink lemonade concentrate, thawed
1 tub Cool Whip
1 can (look carefully, this is important) SWEETENED CONDENSED MILK

Pour all the ingredients into a bowl and stir vigorously to combine. Pour it into the prepared crust, and refrigerate. THAT IS ALL. What could be better? Summer in a pie crust.

That is, if you managed to actually buy sweetened condensed milk.

On Saturday night, after a vigorous day of playing at all of my favorite activities, Mr. Meat and Potatoes and I decided to grill steaks and stay in. The baby was tired and so were we. And I wanted to go home and make my pie. The night was shaping up to be precisely what our average, white, thirty-something selves love. Meat, movies, PIE.

I got out the ingredients I had purchased that morning, retrieved a big white bowl from the cupboard, and went to open the can of… evaporated milk? Oh, no. NO. Nonononononono.

I had grabbed the wrong thing off the grocery store shelf, and in my recent love affair with dulce de leche, I had used up my pantry supply. I ripped the cans from the cabinets, hoping to find a spare can lurking in the back. I believed I would find one. I had faith. My hopes, however, were dashed.

Seriously, people, I thought I was going to cry. I was that tired, and that fond of the pie.

Determined to have some sort of refrigerator pie and get my graham cracker crust fix, I looked back into the pantry and worked with what I had. And while it’s certainly not the same, it assuaged my pain, and I felt pretty proud of my powers of recovery.

Desperation Chocolate Pie

1 graham cracker crust (yes, I purchased it, OKAY?)
3 C Cool Whip
1 block cream cheese
1 C sugar
2 eggs
1 bag semi sweet chocolate chips

1) Melt the chocolate. Most people would tell you to go to a lot of trouble with a double boiler and water and yada yada. I just put mine in the microwave and watched closely, a minute at a time. When the chocolate was not quite completely melted, I tossed the brick of cream cheese in and stuck the bowl back in the microwave for another minute so the cheese would be good and soft – stirrable.

2) Add the sugar and the eggs, and beat vigorously with a wooden spoon. You could get out the beaters but I didn’t want to be bothered with another thing to wash. Back into the microwave for a minute or so, just because I am a little paranoid about eggs.

3) Once all of that is combined, put in your Cool Whip and stir it in. Pour it into the shell, and refrigerate.

I got fancy and garnished mine with some sliced strawberries, but you could serve it with another dollop of Cool Whip, which would be equally high-class.

It wasn’t the same as my pink lemonade dream. I’m not even that into chocolate, but seriously people – it was like a smooth chocolate pudding dream wrapped up in a little crunchy blanket of graham cracker love. It will totally do.

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