If you have never seen Seems Like Old Times or Foul Play, go rent them right this very minute, and have a Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase film fest tonight. If you have small children, be sure to let them watch with you. These movies will provide them with just the right amount of questionable content to keep them interested. Like the scene in Foul Play with old ladies playing dirty Scrabble. I did not have the stones at age ten to ask my mother to rewind the VCR tape so I could see the profane words on the Scrabble board again. But now, I totally pause at that part and laugh and laugh as if I’ve never seen the F word before.

To go with this seventies film fest, you will need to serve your family chicken pepperoni, the famous dish of Ira’s housekeeper, Aurora, in Seems Like Old TImes.

I had forgotten about Aurora and the chicken pepperoni until last night. I had a bag of boneless, skinless chicken thighs (we like dark meat, and the health benefits of white meat can go hang) burning a hole in my freezer. I had a bag of Panko bread crumbs.

http://worldonline.media.clients.ellingtoncms.com/img/blogs/entry_img/2009/Feb/26/panko_.jpg

Get some of this immediately, if you haven’t before. You will never use regular old breadcrumbs again.

I had some leftover pepperoni from when I made scamboli a couple weeks ago. That pepperoni in a bag keeps forever. It’s nuclear fallout food.

I had to send my husband to the grocery for some provolone, but other than that, I had a hot setup awaiting in my fridge, and chicken pepperoni was on my brain.

I don’t know if this is anything like Aurora’s recipe, but it turned out pretty fine if I do say so myself, and was quick and easy to do.

Start with four chicken thighs (or breasts, if you must), and pound them thin between two sheets of Saran Wrap, or the cheap store brand stuff, if you’re me. I like it because it seems clingier. Set them aside once you’ve got them as thin as you can stand to make ’em.

In one medium sized bowl, dump half a bag of panko, and then shake in some parmesan. Now, I don’t like the taste of the “green cheese” in a can, but if it’s all you have, go ahead. I like fresh parm, or if I’m feeling lazy, those big curly shavings in the tub in the cheese section of Dillon’s. I just tossed a handful of shavings in. I also added a tablespoon-ish of basil and a few shakes of sage just to mix things up. I also used a couple of shakes of garlic powder (because we’re going to fry these suckers I didn’t want to use fresh garlic which would burn) and a dash of salt, and a few cranks of the pepper grinder.

In another smaller bowl, crack an egg and stir it up with a fork. You can use milk too, but I just use egg.

Now, dice two ripe roma tomatoes, and toss in a little vinegar (I used a dash of balsamic), a pinch of sugar, salt, pepper, and a hearty dose of basil, and stir. It will look like a very basic bruschetta topping.

Lay your first piece of chicken out in front of you,smooth side down, and then lay on a slice of provolone that you’ve torn in half, so it extends the length of the chicken. Then place three or four slices of pepperoni in a row, down the length of the chicken, and top with a sprinkling of tomatoes.

Here comes the fancy part, and I bet Aurora never thought of this. Start at the skinniest end of the chicken, and start rolling. Easy does it; you don’t want all that goodness to spill out of the insides of your roll o’ chick. I had to use two toothpicks stabbing through the rolls to hold them together firmly.

Once you have all of them assembled, dip the rolls in egg wash and then roll in your panko/parm/herb mixture. Also, you might get some olive oil heating over medium high heat at this point in your favorite skillet. I like cast iron for this. I like cast iron for most things.

Preheat your oven to 325.

When your oil is hot enough to brown the panko, put all four of your chicken roll ups into the oil, and brown them on all sides. Use wide enough tongs that you don’t scrape the breading off of the sides when you turn them. I learned that the hard way.

When they’re all golden brown all around, transfer them to a baking dish. Sprinkle any leftover tomato mixture over the top for pretty, and pop it in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes.

It would be really good if you had some Sunday Gravy on hand for a side dish of noodles and gravy, but it’s totally not required.

It looks fancy, is something men and kids will eat, and basically makes me happy because, well, pepperoni.

Sing to yourself: “AND I’M READY TO TAKE A CHANCE AGAIN!” and think of Goldie Hawn before plastic surgery made her into a Cylon. Not that I know what a Cylon is.

Here’s the ingredient list, for you traditionalists:

4 boneless, skinless, chicken thighs (or breasts, for you traditionalists)

1/2 bag of Panko bread crumbs

1/4 cup parmesan cheese

2 T. basil, divided

2 tsp. garlic powder, divided

1/2 tsp. salt, divided

1 tsp. cracked black pepper, divided

1 tsp sage (or some other herb, whatever you like)

3 T olive oil (2 for frying, 1 for the tomato mix)

1 dash (how much is that? I don’t know.) of vinegar – pref. balsamic

1 egg

4 slices of provolone cheese

12-15 small slices of pepperoni

8 toothpicks