As much as I freaking love the holidays in general, and I love to cook, the whole thing, admittedly, can be a little wearing. I think the problem is that I am so ADD, I like to cook on my own schedule, when I feel like it, when the notion strikes. Unfortunately, with the holiday fal-de-ral going on, one has to follow quite the schedule. Especially, ahem, when one’s dance card is as full as mine.

You see, I routinely attend up to six different friend and work-related Christmas parties, three family Christmases and this year I’ve added an extra dinner party after Christmas, and, of course, New Year’s Eve. Plus the baking for neighbors and co-workers. This means I am cooking treats and appetizers every time I turn around, not to mention the occasional full-blown Christmas or Thanksgiving feast.

I am not really complaining, so much, as I’m Just Sayin’. Sometimes a little of the fun goes out of it. Normally, my cooking blasts are akin to snow storms. They blow in unexpectedly and while some hang around for days, most are gone after an afternoon – with an epic aftermath to contend with for days following. But with holiday cooking, I have to have a plan, I have to think hard in advance, and I have to make a schedule in order to keep up.

I also have to go against my very nature and try to make it easy on myself. Normally, when I am planning something that will be eaten by a large number of people. I try to make something impressive and fancy, and it takes me forever because I do 100 tiny puff pastries with marinated wild mushrooms and goat cheese inside, or some such nonsense. But for holiday cooking and baking, I take the low road. For sanity’s sake.

For example, my friend Sara Jane’s XMas Xaos party was on Saturday night. The party wherein we all curse our friends while we roll dice to obtain gifts and later steal them gifts out of their hot little hands time and again. Mr. Meat and Potatoes always, invariably, draws the short stick and goes home with nothing from this exchange. I, of course, am very good at the dice-rolling game and am ruthless in my pursuit of the gift of choice. This year I stole a Fact or Crap game no less than twelve times, BUT I TOOK THAT SUCKER HOME.

Such is the spirit of Christmas.

This party always entails an Italian feast. I needed something I could whip up with little effort and that would travel well. I get tired of schlepping crock pots and delicate desserts from place to place, so I looked for an easy to make, easy to move dish, and decided on bruschetta.

Bruschetta is, technically, pronounced Broos-Ket-Ta, but most people sound like pretentious asses that way, so I still say Broo-Shet-Ta, like most of the rest of America, and I’m fine with that.

Some people like to blanche and peel their tomatoes for bruschetta, but I don’t think it’s necessary and just results in burned fingers. Just go ahead and chop everything up and throw it in the bowl raw. No one will be mad, I swear.

Broo-Shet-Ta

8 roma tomatoes (give or take)
1 small red onion
2 T olive oil
4 cloves garlic, minced
10-12 large basil leaves, chopped
1 tsp kosher salt
1/4 C balsamic vinegar
1 T sugar
2 baguettes
1/2 C (maybe more) olive oil, for bread

1) Dice your tomatoes as finely as you can. I recommend sharpening your best knife before you embark on this part of the process. Toss them in a large-ish Tupperware container or a bowl with a lid.

2) Dice most, if not all, of the onion. Use your best judgment on how onion-y you want it.

3) Chop your basil. Try not to beat it up too bad.

4) Toss the onion, basil, salt, vinegar, sugar and olive oil in with the tomatoes and give it a good stir. Put the lid on and let the flavors meld together.

5) Set your oven to broil. Mine has a “low” broil setting and that is what I used, because I am famous for burning things under the broiler. ADD, you know.

6) Slice your baguettes into 1/2 inch thick slices and lay them flat all over a couple of cookie sheets. Give both sides a nice brush with olive oil. Cook them for about 2.5 minutes on each side, or until they’re nice and toasty and brown.

The beauty of this is you can take the bread in a Zip Lock bag and the topping in a Tupperware container. If you must, you can bring along a tray and maybe a better looking bowl. People can spoon the topping onto the bread themselves, so the bread never gets mushy. Easy, fast, portable.

Or, if you prefer to add some protein to the usually starchy finger food fare at these things, but you don’t want to lug your crock pot full of meatballs, you can do a marinated shrimp. These are fabulous if you do them a day in advance, but an also be done just moments before flying out the door. My former roommate really is credited with this recipe, although I don’t know exactly how she does it. I have created my own knock-off of her recipe, and while I don’t think I have it perfect, it’ll do in a pinch. This is very festive and Christmas-y looking, and it’s really cute if you serve it portioned out into a dozen martini glasses or other stemware. But, if you are traveling with it, right out of the Tupperware is good, too.

Festive Shrimp

2 lbs uncooked medium to large shrimp, peeled and deveined
2 jalapenos
1 red bell pepper
1/2 small red onion
1 handful cilantro
1 clove garlic, minced
1/3 C lime juice
1/4 tsp lime zest
several dashes Tabasco or Frank’s Red Hot
2 tsp salt
1 tsp cayenne pepper
2 T olive oil

1) Peel the shrimp and cook them however you see fit. I like to saute them in some olive oil with some salt, cayenne pepper and a little garlic, but you can also just boil them. The important thing is not to overcook them. When they start to look pink, remove them from the heat as they will continue to cook. It only takes about 4 to 5 minutes to boil a shrimp to perfection.

2) Chop the (seeded) jalapenos, peppers and onions into the tiniest bits you can possibly muster. The smaller they are, the more likely they will actually stick to the shrimp when they’re pulled out of the bowl to eat.

3) Pull the leaves off the cilantro and run your knife through for a rough chop. Add to the pepper/onion mix.

4) Mix peppers, onions and cilantro with lime juice, zest, oil, Tabasco and salt. Toss the shrimp in.

5) Transfer to a Zip Lock bag and marinate overnight, or for as long as it takes to drive to your next party.

People will be so happy with you for not bringing ANOTHER cheese ball, they’ll invite you back for New Year’s Eve. I have some ideas about what you should take to that party, too, but one holiday at a time, please. We’ll get to that next week.

In the meantime, have the happiest holidays ever. I got my Christmas present in August, but here’s a peek at why ours will be so joyous.

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