If you like bone-breaking action and quippy one-liners, a huge stable of Hollywood tough guys whose median age is around 60 are at the ready to give you what you want, what you really really want.

“The Expendables 2” opens today. Alas, the movie studio did not screen the film for critics, so I haven’t seen it. However, I did send a Scene-Stealers contributor to the new Alamo Drafthouse in Kansas City last night for a unique movie-theater event called Van Dammage that embraced the snake-punching cheese of Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Van Dammage started at 5pm, showed three Van Damme movies in a row — “Bloodsport,” “Hard Target,” and “Universal Soldier” — and then culminated with the premiere of “The Expendables 2.” What other kind of in-theater shenanigans and craziness was on deck I won’t know until I read his report (which should be filed by midday and will include a review of “The Expendables 2”), but movie fans can be sure of one thing: With the Austin, TX-based theater chain in Kansas City, we can expect more high-concept theater events. At a screening of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s not-quite-classic 1987 Stephen King adaptation “The Running Man” a couple weeks ago, for instance, they shot off live fireworks during the film to add to the experience.

Speaking of crazy Alamo Drafthouse antics, I’ll be hosting The Action Pack’s Arena Rock Sing-Along at the Alamo Drafthouse Kansas City Mainstreet Theater on Thursday night August 30 at 7:30pm. I’ve been to loads of Drafthouse events in Austin, but I’ve never been to one of the their Sing-Along events. All I know is that there’s drinking in the theater, they put the lyrics on the screen, and encourage everyone to sing along.

They tell me they don’t often have people outside of the Drafthouse host events, so I’m pretty excited to be the inaugural outsider host. I think my “status” as three-time Kansas City air guitar champion meant more to them on this particular occasion than my movie-critic cred, because they asked me to perform and asked if I would bring some air guitar friends to do the same. So that’s exactly what you’re gonna get.

The Drafthouse promises “a stadium-sized night of sweaty rock stars, wailing guitar solos, lasers, and epic tuneage.” It sounds like people ought to get to the bar at the theater a little before 7:30 to get — ahem — tuned (liquored) up. ARE YOU READY TO ROCK? It’s not a question, baby.

Instead of going in for some Van Dammage, what I did see last night was a movie that bucks the trend of so many computer-animated films aimed at kids. On the surface, “ParaNorman” is an animated kids’ film filled with zombies, ghosts, and clever references to horror movies. But there’s a lot more going on in “ParaNorman” than your average talking-animal children’s fare. It’s aimed at a slightly older audience, and its amazing stop-motion animation makes for some pretty scary moments.

Essentially, though,”ParaNorman” is a fable about intolerance and the dangers of fear, although the film is a little too on the nose about it. Norman is a misunderstood boy, and any kid who’s ever been picked on will totally relate. The supernatural elements are woven in seamlessly as Norman wakes up to the real reason he’s plagued by ghosts, realizing he’s the only one who can stop a zombie attack and lift a witch’s curse.

“ParaNorman” has some of the silly slapstick you’ve come to expect in animated family films, but the entire movie also has a decidedly cooler, more melancholy vibe. Rather than hit you over the head with a nonstop barrage of motion and sight gags — which seems to be the norm these days for kids’ movies — it unfolds a little slower.

If “ParaNorman” stumbles a bit, it’s during an ending where the movie over-explains its themes, but that ending is also surprisingly emotional — and the multimedia animation technique and subtle use of 3D are pretty remarkable.

Laika is the same animation studio that made “Coraline,” and like that movie, Laika’s “ParaNorman” is a breath of fresh air, proving that there’s a lot of joy to be found in the darkness.