Usually this column is reserved for movies, but today I bring you a subject that is merely tangentially related:

AIR GUITAR.

Yes, a competitive version of this “sport” (I prefer to call it performance art) exists and tomorrow (Wednesday) night at The Bottleneck I will be hosting the Lawrence Air Guitar Championship 2012! It is seriously the most fun you can have with clothes on. I’ve been all over the country for these competitions and it’s amazing. I watched 2,500 screaming fans in Washington D.C. cheering for a guy in awkward-fitting tights with no shirt (and no guitar) like he was Keith Richards.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBGWVbUsjL8

How is this tangentially related to movies, you may ask? Well, ever since I saw the documentary “Air Guitar Nation” and realized there were shows/competitions for something I’d been doing in my bedroom since high school anyway, I’ve been obsessed with the underground world of competitive air guitar.

Through the USAirguitar.com blog, Facebook page, and Twitter account, I pieced together what I knew to be the brief history of organized air guitar competitions in America since the movie. (There are world championships too, but that’s another story.)

Since my recent entry into U.S. Air Guitar shows in 2009, I’ve competed nine times and made around a hundred friends. We all have one thing in common: an unhealthy obsession for a semi-obscure art form that most people laugh at. (We do too, by the way. We know its ridiculous — that’s part of the fun.)

We speak the same language. When I tell you, the newbie, that current US champ Nordic Thunder placed second in the world and was on George Lopez one week before its cancellation (a coincidence?), that means nothing to you. But when I tell my air guitar pals Lt. Facemelter (San Diego) or Dirty Airy (San Francisco) or the Lost Heartbreaker (Minneapolis), they understand immediately that this long-haired, skirted USAG hall-of-famer has helped USAG gain more exposure (ESPN, CNN) and continues to be a mighty “air” force to be reckoned with.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7CxLca0a3A

There’s more absurd moments than that even where air guitar has played on the national stage. The strange character known as Magic Cyclops — who has been performing music and playing the US Air Guitar circuit for at least 10 years — began his 15 minutes of fame thanks to a memorable appearance on “American Idol.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbLt1QN6WqE

Tomorrow night we are going to find Lawrence’s best air guitarist. ANYONE can enter. At 8pm, we do free-form AIREOKE where people bring their own iPods and air whatever they want. At 10:30, celebrity judges Jason Barr (from A.D.D. Podcast), Martinez Hillard (from Cowboy Indian Bear) and Pfannenstiel (from AstroKitty Comics) make their way into The Bottleneck and the competition begins.

Lawrence air guitar obeys the rules set forth by the Air Guitar World Championships. I’ll have 70 or so songs already edited down to their best one minute, or you can bring your own! Get warmed up early because liquid courage is a necessity. Here are just some of the area’s best and most fearless airesses and aireographers who may be competing tomorrow night:

Suit-and-tie guy The CorpAIRation

The loathsome and frightening Pork Sword

The glam-punk Thunderball

The misleading Glory Wholesome

…and last, but not least, the Andy Kaufman of air guitar, Peter “Stiff” Dickens.