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Posted by Puddleglum on July 13, 2009 at 5:59 p.m.

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Trolls come to life with wrong beer

Many people drink alot of beer. Some even drink alot of different kinds of beer. There are some good kinds for the summer months-but nobody really cares. I want to discuss the different types of drinkers. First are the purists. These people love their own brand so much-the talk about all the time as if it were the only good beer ever made. Their beer is always a better value, or tastes better, or whatever-and they rarely even try something different. In fact, I have a few friends who only drink their favorite brand-and they will go so far as to bring a sixer of miller high life to a wedding, just in case the reception serves only budweiser. Talk about loyalty! You know the type. Then there are the alternators....these people are truly a study to behold. They mix up the night by alternating from one brand to another, back and forth all night. I have a friend who drinks one bud light, then a bud lime, then a bud light, then a bud lime, etc. He also smokes a menthol marlboro, then a regualr winston, menthol marlboro, regular wintson...you get the idea. He has to stock up on both brands in his fridge, and it can get complicated if you start bumming his beers. Then you have the free-wheelers: They go for whatever the pocket can afford. Coors one day, Stella the next, Boulevard on the weekend, Kronenburg on Bastille day, Milwuakee's best the three days before payday. On top are the High-rollers: They select whatever costs over 7.99 a six pack. This is the life up here, man: Lots of Colorado brews including Left hand, New belgium, O'dells, Peroni, Harp, Guiness & other fun imports. I had a High-roller over for dinner one time and offered him a budweiser and he refused saying that "life was too short to waste on cheap beer." I was pretty impressed, so I drank my beer and the beer I offered to him. Of course, there are the skylab-types as well. They usually blast off from a saturn V mixture of coronas, tecates and other fun from south of the border-then make their way to the asteroid belt also know as "JUMBO Magaritas". Everything is feeling fine like The eagle has landed, but somewhere shots begin to swarm forth, like a 'lemon drop' or 'barrier reef' or just plain old whiskey will do the trick...Doesn't necessarily take all night for the orbit to get out of control. Usually splashdown occurs sometime before the stars go out and after the rise of the phoenix. I am sure there are other good categories out there, maybe some of you can help. What kind are you?

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