Posted by Puddleglum November 24, 2009 at 8:52 p.m.

how do you prepare turkey?

man, I don't know how to cook a turkey at all. I know that a fried turkey tastes great, but sounds impossibly dangerous/complicated/wasteful to pull off. oven-roasted? how do you you keep it moist? this is the classic look:

best_turk.jpg

how about some wild variations?

this looks marvelous:

filetturkey.jpg

cajun turkey?

buffalo-wing turkey? turkey pizza? salmon-wrapped turkey? how do you cook up your specialty, and what is the craziest variation you have ever had? lookit lookit.....bacon-turkey!

baconturkey.jpg

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puddleglum 3 years, 5 months ago

bacon turkey. genius

RoeDapple 3 years, 5 months ago

This year the turkey will be smoked for about thirty hours by my son in law using a combination of apple wood and hickory that has been soaked in bourbon since late august, then set out to dry last week. I'm not a big fan of turkey meat but I look forward to any of the meats he smokes. Hope there is a ham in there too...

budwhysir 3 years, 5 months ago

open package and put slice on bread, add mustard, pickle and onion. Enjoy

get in car, pollute air with by products from my gas guzzler oil burning car, drive to moms house and enjoy a 30 minute meal that all the ladies in the family spent two days making
take nap and enjoy my day off drinking beer and yelling at the tv

any way you slice it, turkey works good for me

puddleglum 3 years, 5 months ago

3, an excellent choice.

puddleglum 3 years, 5 months ago

roe, 30 hours? in bourbon since august? you need to let me have a slice of that action

jonas_opines 3 years, 5 months ago

Well, I tell them that they've lived a long and fruitful year or two on this earth, and that their sacrifice will be greatly meaningful to at least 8 people, maybe even a dozen. Then I give them a pat on the head and remind them that all good turkeys go to Heaven's Fowl Landing, where they will live forever peacefully with all their turkey loved ones, and bask in the light of The Great Gob for eternity. They're generally ready by then.

Wait, are you talking about cooking them? Lol, sorry.

I haven't ever cooked a turkey. It's not my job.

puddleglum 3 years, 5 months ago

I have never cooked a turkey either, and I'm not really sure to whom the job title layeth, but bcman has got his game on for sure. and I am getting pretty hungry now.

bacon turkey is still the front-runner for me. I might let my Mom make the turkey, then I'll sneak up and dump a couple of lbs. of bacon on top of it, right as it hits the dinner table. class.

Ricky_Vaughn 3 years, 5 months ago

I had a fried turkey last year...it was absolutely delicious! Now that I've gone fried, I don't know if I can go back...

ksdivakat 3 years, 5 months ago

put the turkey in a bag, add 7-up and water to the bag, poke holes int he top for ventilation, and cook it all night long on 200-250 but no higher, let it cook for a good 12-13 hours and oh yeah put aluminum foil over the top of the birds breasts so they dont burn, then in the last hour remove the foil so that it browns nice and pretty. The 7-up retains the juices because of the sugar and in fact we never get a chance to "carve" the bird because the meat literally falls off the bone. ut its great! Although, I would LOVE to try Roe's turkey, it sounds delish too!!

budwhysir 3 years, 5 months ago

I like to soak my turkey in a little beer prior to cooking. However this is a lot of work and this year I may just go to drinking the beer right out of the can

Pywacket 3 years, 5 months ago

thebcman~ That was a classic! I know that's how my husband is going to want the bird prepared from now on.

For anyone who wonders how to make smooth gravy, here's the goods: simmer your giblets & neck while cooking everything else, adding more water as needed. Turn off & allow to cool enough to handle cooked giblets. pull off meat from the neck bone and chop gizzard, heart and liver. Now run these through the food processor. It will make a paste that you can then add to the gravy, giving you giblet gravy flavor without chunks that kids (and some others) will gripe about.

To make the gravy itself, put a stick of butter and about half a cup of olive (or canola) oil in a big saucepan. Heat on low until butter is melted--stir into the oil. Now turn up the heat and add enough flour to make a thick roux. Continue to heat & stir as the roux darkens. For turkey gravy, you want a light golden brown. Gradually start adding your broth. Use the giblet broth first, then drippings from the cooking bird. (Do the gravy close to meal time, when the turkey is done or almost done.)

The trick to avoiding lumpy gravy is to add the liquid gradually--just a little at a time, stirring it completely into the roux, then adding a little more, etc. It takes time, but is well worth the effort. At some point, it will become more liquid than solid, but velvety smooth. You can then continue to add liquid, still stirring, until it is the consistency you prefer.

This should yield enough gravy for a pretty big crowd, but check a recipe for proportions of fat, flour, & liquid if you need to be exact. There should still be lots of broth left to use later for more gravy or for soup.

If you usually throw away the turkey bones, don't! You can use them to make a couple gallons of wonderful broth. After picking off all the meat you can, put the carcass in a big stock pot, add a couple of quartered onions, a few ribs of celery, and salt & seasonings to taste. I throw in some oregano, thyme, sage, parsley, rosemary, sea salt, and freshly ground pepper. I have the herbs growing outside, but you can use the ones out of bottles if you don't have fresh. I also squeeze a lemon into the pot. A couple of carrots add nutrition and flavor to the broth but also turn it orange--so that's a matter of preference.

Bring to a boil, then simmer for a couple hours, adding water as necessary to maintain a steady quantity.When done, discard bones, celery, onion pieces, and herbs and pour broth through a strainer. Mix with any remaining drippings that you didn't use for gravy from the roasting pan. Chill and remove congealed fat. Freeze it in small quantities for winter soups or gravy.