LJWorld.com weblogs Life in the Flatland
It's so hot that...
Good Sunday afternoon, folks. I just came inside from a bit of gardening work & noticed that Multi's gettin' a shave.
I also noticed it was too friggin' hot to go back outside. A guy said to me yesterday that it was hotter than a popcorn fart, but I always thought it was 'dryer than.' That set me to thinking, though, about what expressions there are for painting pictures of this heat wave. I ripped some stuff off the net & here it comes. If you have some more, I'd love to read them.
It's so hot that I saw two trees fighting over a dog. It's so hot, today I saw a chicken lay a fried egg. It's so hot that birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. It was so hot Bill Clinton got a slurpee and then went to 7/11. It's so hot that cows are giving evaporated milk. It's so hot that you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
It was so hot... All the corn on the stalks started popping and flying through the air. The cows thought it was snowing. And they froze to death. It's so hot, I saw squirrels fanning their nuts. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
Whaa, you not laughing? Gimmee some better ones. Stay cool, y'all.