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It's so hot that...

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Good Sunday afternoon, folks. I just came inside from a bit of gardening work & noticed that Multi's gettin' a shave.

I also noticed it was too friggin' hot to go back outside. A guy said to me yesterday that it was hotter than a popcorn fart, but I always thought it was 'dryer than.' That set me to thinking, though, about what expressions there are for painting pictures of this heat wave. I ripped some stuff off the net & here it comes. If you have some more, I'd love to read them.

It's so hot that I saw two trees fighting over a dog. It's so hot, today I saw a chicken lay a fried egg. It's so hot that birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. It was so hot Bill Clinton got a slurpee and then went to 7/11. It's so hot that cows are giving evaporated milk. It's so hot that you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

It was so hot... All the corn on the stalks started popping and flying through the air. The cows thought it was snowing. And they froze to death. It's so hot, I saw squirrels fanning their nuts. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

Whaa, you not laughing? Gimmee some better ones. Stay cool, y'all.

Comments

rockchalker52 4 years, 1 month ago

Indy Music For Haiti...? Inflammatory Malignant Fibrous Histiocytoma...? I looked it up on my UDD app...no, I don't get it. I love it when 11:11 lights up my digital clock, though, you analogical rascal, you.

Flap Doodle 4 years, 1 month ago

It's so hot that when I saw a duck chasing a June bug today, they were both walking.

beatrice 4 years, 1 month ago

I live in Phoenix. We were at 116 last week, with monsoon storms in the evenings. It has finally cooled down and we are only going to be 105 today.

Did you see our dust storm? A real dustnami (dustagedon?)-- check out the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W4Cx4...

Some pretty amazing weather happening here in the desert.

beatrice 4 years, 1 month ago

Dry heat ... like a convection oven.

rockchalker52 4 years, 1 month ago

I did see your dust storm, beatrice. It was so dusty I bet you had to take a bath with a shop vac.

beatrice 4 years, 1 month ago

The city is still pretty much covered in dirt. We need a big rain. The pool got pretty muddy, but it cleaned easily enough. If you don't change out air filters on ac units and such, it can become a problem. Cars that were left outside were a real mess. I know one person who left his windows open -- I don't know if he will ever get the dirt out.

RoeDapple 4 years, 1 month ago

It's so hot . . I think I saw a sabre tooth tiger oozing up out of the asphalt.

RoeDapple 4 years, 1 month ago

. . . the chickens are laying boiled eggs?

RoeDapple 4 years, 1 month ago

. . . I have a permanent brand . . from the seat belt buckle

LadyJ 4 years, 1 month ago

It's so hot I put some burgers and dogs on the grill and they cooked in no time at all, and the grill wasn't lit.

rockchalker52 4 years, 1 month ago

T_O_B, I didn't know they made styrofoam cups that big. Do use use an inner tube or one of those inflatable chairs?

beatrice 4 years, 1 month ago

It is so hot, shadows are looking for some shade.

riverdrifter 4 years, 1 month ago

"It was so hot today that Dick Cheney waterboarded himself." --David Letterman

pagan_idolator 4 years, 1 month ago

Its so hot that fire stops, drops and rolls.

riverdrifter 4 years, 1 month ago

It's hotter than a you-know-what on dollar night.

(That's the best I could do with thet one, JK...)

RoeDapple 4 years, 1 month ago

It's so HOT . . . Sarah P. is starting to look COOL!!

somedude20 4 years, 1 month ago

It was so hot today Floyd Landis tested positive for Snapple.

It was so hot out that North Korea test launched a long range Popsicle

It was so hot Bill Clinton got a slurpee and then went to 7/11.

its so hot, the squirrels are handling their nuts with potholders

its so hot that I saw a bunch of winos passing around a Dilly Bar!

http://www.yooohaaa.com/humor/itssohotjokes.htm

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