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We Should Really Call it Grandmother's Day
Mother’s Day is now 18 days away. I didn’t realize how close it was until my brother called on Monday to discuss plans for my mom this year. I’m gonna be real here. I’m dreading Mother’s Day. Why? Because Hallmark, Pinterest, and every commercial on TV have done nothing but set new-ish moms up for disappointment.
They portray an unrealistic expectation of how that day is supposed to go: Mom wakes up to smiling faces bringing her breakfast in bed after allowing her to sleep in. Then they adorn her with presents, hugs, and I love yous. She spends the day just basking in the glow of being a mom and her perfect tiny creatures who do nothing but rain sunshine and sparkles on her all day.
I call B.S.
Reality: Dad is still sleeping when Mom awakes to the baby crying because he doesn’t hear her. Mom then feeds the kids a breakfast of cold cereal and dresses in whatever still smells good and doesn’t have something crusted on the sleeve. The kids may hand her a handmade card or a macaroni necklace (which she loves regardless of the level of ugly it is). If the husband is really good, he’ll get her a spa day, but most of the time, that only happens on TV. The rest of the day is spent shuffling around to visit the grandmas. When dinner rolls around and the family gets hungry, they’ve already forgotten that it’s Mother’s Day and ask Mom what’s for dinner.
It’s not the husband’s fault. You’re not HIS mother. It’s not the kids’ fault. They don’t know what the heck is going on or that it’s anything other than Sunday. It’s the greeting card companies’ fault and all those lying commercials on TV. And that’s precisely why I spent a small portion of last Mother’s Day crying on the couch. These friggin’ companies are marketing to the wrong people. Don’t give moms unrealistic expectations of Mother’s Day! We’re the ones paying attention to that commercial, not our husbands and kids! Stop it! Flowers, jewelry, tear-jerker cards? Unless a miracle happens and my almost three-year-old learns how to order and buy these things, it isn’t happening.
We’ve totally just labeled this day incorrectly. Let’s call it what it is: Grandmother’s Day. Because let’s be honest, the only people who are going to get properly adored and pampered that day are the ones with kids old enough to have their own money and know better.
I’ve spoken to several moms of young children and almost all of them said their last Mother’s Day was lackluster. Not in a bad, bitter way. They weren’t complaining. They just said, “Eh. It was just another day. We went out to eat. That was nice, except for the hour-long wait.”
So this year, I decided to help my husband dodge a bullet. I told him to get me a bottle of my favorite perfume, make plans for dinner (it can even be pizza) and we’ll call it good. I’ll just plan to spend the day thanking my mom (and his) and apologizing for all the years of craptastic Mother’s Days we subjected her to.
What does Mother’s Day look like at your house? If it looks like a Hallmark commercial, I'll give you my husband's email address.