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Add "except with Kansas football" at end of your fortune cookie

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A Kansas fan looks through the game program during the fourth quarter from the top of the stands on Saturday, Oct. 7, 2017 at Memorial Stadium.

A Kansas fan looks through the game program during the fourth quarter from the top of the stands on Saturday, Oct. 7, 2017 at Memorial Stadium. by Nick Krug

There is a website for everything. For example, fortunecookiemessage.com exists. I recommend it for those stressed out by the inability of Kansas to field a competitive football program.

Read the fortune-cookie messages and then add “except with Kansas football,” at the end.

Here goes: “A friend asks you only for your time, not your money, except with Kansas football.”

And: “Your high-minded principles spell success, except with Kansas football.”

Or: “A dream you have will come true, except with Kansas football.”

Plus: “A new voyage will fill your life with untold memories, except with Kansas football.”

And then there is this cruel fortune: “A short stranger will soon enter your life with blessings to share, except with Kansas football.” Oh, he did all right, for four years and then he went back to Austin and took all that good karma with him.

“It’s better to be alone sometimes, except with Kansas football.” Tell that to the guy sitting alone at the top of the stadium.

And: “You will conquer obstacles to achieve success, except with Kansas football.”

This one fits too: “Happiness is an activity, except with Kansas football.”

Plus: “The only certainty is that nothing is certain, except with Kansas football.”

Another: “Failure is the mother of all success, except with Kansas football.”

True: “A new wardrobe brings great joy and change to your life, except with Kansas football.”

Perfect: “You will make many changes before settling down happily, except with Kansas football.”

Pluperfect: “A lifetime of happiness is in store for you, except with Kansas football.” Try it at the end of your next meal at a Chinese restaurant.

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