Strippin' Ain't E-Z

Posted by Mel Briscoe November 11, 2009 at 8:53 a.m.

Made you look you dirty crook, you stole your mother's pocketbook! :P

Okay, so I actually made myself chuckle there... If nothing else becomes of this blog, atleast it was worth a little laugh for myself. :D

The title of this blog is a spin on the song "Pimpin' Ain't Easy" and I'm sure that neither profession is without complication. I once got offered $200 to perform a certain act on someone sitting next to me at a bar-- this was a regular little dive here in Salina-- no, I didn't take the money. LOL But it made me think of all that strippers have to go through pretty much every night that they work. To be real honest with you, I don't think that I could endure the constant objectifying. Not that I'm Pamela Anderson or anything, but the few physical traits that I do possess that maybe deemed "attractive" get noticed a bit too much when I do patronize drunken establishments and I am keeping my garments on the entire time! It would really get obnoxious if I removed my sweatshirt. Geesh!

To my fellow novel writers-- keep on plugging away! That sizeable dent I made in my 50K words hasn't grown any since last weekend. LOL You'll get there though... I may not get there with you... No, I will get there with you. Yay us!

With cuddles and smooches,

Honeychild (and no, that's not a stripper name... That's my phone sex name dammit. How dare you suggest such a thing!)

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honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

just visit the archives of your mind, darling. they're there.
November 11, 2009 at 9:05 a.m.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…

Honeychild,
Although I rarely comment on blogs about strippers, this one caught my eye. At the risk of being accused of having fantasies about you, my fantasy is that you are in your late 30's, live in a midwestern town near I-70, are of mixed heritage and work in the health care industry. Would that include mental health, as I have been told I have issues with women? I believe a mutual friend(s) may have told you what a sicko I am, so please, no pictures or posts of email address. I was raised by an ax murderer and a herd of llamas, so I feel justified in all I do. If anyone wants to call me names, please pm me with a list first so I can verify accuracy.
November 11, 2009 at 10:06 a.m.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…

Okay I've changed my mind. I've done a little stripping myself in the day....

I'll show you mine if you show me yours....

http://www.refinishwizard.com/strippi...

http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/...

http://www.brownstoner.com/southstuy/...
November 11, 2009 at 10:20 a.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

roe, i don't think you are beyond repair. perhaps some intense psychotherapy combined w/ a good old-fashioned dose of water boarding. there maybe hope for you yet.

you were almost accurate in your description of me. just add 3 years onto that guestimated age as i just had my 42nd birthday 3 weeks ago. oh, and fyi, the term is no longer "mixed race", its "halfrican american" (ala, mr. limbaugh).

llamas? i like llamas? their wholesome influence should negate that ax murderer thing...
November 11, 2009 at 10:22 a.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

just got a gander at your pictures... you dirty dirty boy! (nice hands, btw!)
November 11, 2009 at 10:24 a.m.
puddleglum (anonymous) says…

my prediction?
soon this blog will be disappeardededded along with all other stripper blogs....and that may be a good thing, huh?
November 11, 2009 at 10:51 a.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

hush, puddlegum!! *my* thread is wholesome, good and full of sweetness & light.
November 11, 2009 at 10:54 a.m.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…

PUDD! They took away your blog? D@#n, a quality tongue in cheek rebuttal on the stripper blogs down the tubes....

Ah well, all the carefully worded, highly intellectual posts I made on it can still be found by going through my list of posts. What's next, door to door searches for laptops, to be piled in the streets and burned? ;-)

(What happened, somebody get a little rowdy?)

http://www.pinball.com/games/arabian/...
November 11, 2009 at 11:09 a.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

roe, thanks 2 them racy pitchers U posted i might just git this blog takin down 2.
November 11, 2009 at 12:16 p.m.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…

hek yuo thinks thems pikchurs wuz racee yuo aint seeen nuttin hyet i gots sum whut wil maek yuuo doo bakflaps in yer chare her liek thiss...

http://a.abcnews.com/images/icaught/i...

wel thems englis cuzins one name monty theys looks liek armatures nexa wut i kin doo...

http://www.csfineartscenter.org/uploa...

git reddy too hanout sum thems dolars yuo gots waddded in yer han this is hot...

http://www.daveharper.com/Webpics/LPS...

an dont be lookin to cloes too mye laggs i dint shaev tham ths mornun..

http://www.rd.com/images/tfhimport/20...

wel that be al fer nowe we dont wanna git the girrlys al sturd up an runs em outa dolars too sune an we shur dont wanna dra too mulch tennsion frum thet jk feller i noe depe depe douwn he be a cuzin but he dont wanna tauk boutit
November 11, 2009 at 1:19 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

hoo toad u i gots inglish cuzzns?
November 11, 2009 at 1:31 p.m.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…

i is sikeick
November 11, 2009 at 1:35 p.m.
Ricky_Vaughn (anonymous) says…

But it sho' is fun!
November 11, 2009 at 1:48 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

stripping is fun, ricky? do tell-- do you get up there w/ your little g-string that looks like an elephant's trunk out front?
November 11, 2009 at 2:02 p.m.
Ricky_Vaughn (anonymous) says…

I'm a Chippendale. It's kinda tough sometimes. Women are always groping me, asking me out, asking for favors on the side...I'm getting tired of women treating me like a sex object.

Ever seen that SNL with Farley and Swayze? I'm more like Farley...the one with all the hottest moves.
November 11, 2009 at 2:17 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

okay, gotcha. and yes, i have seen that skit. in fact, we own the best of SNL: chris farley. hilarious!

oh, and that skit connect w/ the mullet thread as well because swayze is wearing a fab mullet wig in that bit.
November 11, 2009 at 2:27 p.m.
pace (anonymous) says…

Still hoping this would help me strip a metal cabinet of applied oil base paint over the enamel.
November 11, 2009 at 2:44 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

did you check out those pics our friend roe posted? perhaps you will find that which you seek, grasshopper.
November 11, 2009 at 2:47 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

marion, i didn't know you're a stripper too. *reaching deep in my purse to find some change*
November 11, 2009 at 2:55 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

^^^^ shake that money maker, marion! wooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
November 11, 2009 at 3:06 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

and where's tommy boy at? i wanna see some conservative butts shakin' dammit!

where you at, tom? shake it shake it shake it like a polaroid picture!
November 11, 2009 at 3:12 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

*queues up "its raining men"*
November 11, 2009 at 3:19 p.m.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…

"half baked"

http://www.pioneerfurniturerefinishin...

Jim the Stripper

http://www.jimthestripper.com/lionel2...

Go Mel!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXudUM...
November 11, 2009 at 3:32 p.m.
tubs_of_love (anonymous) says…

Do your parents know your stripping furniture?
November 11, 2009 at 6:43 p.m.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…

got me there tubs, all my dirty little secrets coming out this week. Lemur rodeo, furniture stripper, hatemonger, odiferous,....

Might as well tell all, this is the real Roe

http://people.ee.duke.edu/~drsmith/cl...
November 11, 2009 at 7:50 p.m.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…

http://www.pinball.com/games/arabian/...
November 11, 2009 at 7:51 p.m.
tubs_of_love (anonymous) says…

@RoeDapple

LMFAO!! You strip and post a pic!
November 11, 2009 at 8:20 p.m.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…

multi,
That certainly should help with all that unwanted groping!

(Or the wanted kind too!!!)
November 11, 2009 at 8:34 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

dunkin donnuts, have you ever seen that little strip joint located right off of highway 40-- i think its on the furthermost eastern outskirts of topeka. strippin' ain't easy at THAT place.
November 12, 2009 at 7:57 a.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

*queues up achy brakey heart*

where's blessedsnap?? i wanna see that ass shakin' and i want to see it NOW!
November 12, 2009 at 8:05 a.m.