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I Want To be My Cat When I Grow Up


This isn't going to be a long post... I was just sitting here at work. I was looking at the wallpaper on my desktop. Its of a calico cat, standing on some green grass, watching attentively as if a juicy robin will plop itself right in front of her if she waits long enough.

I know the cat well. She is a member of my family, the only non-human who occupies our house. Her name is Sidewinder. A cat whose mother was a little calico, rescued as a kitten so young that we had to feed her feline baby formula. Her dad was a sealpoint Siamese named Caviar. Sidewinder truly has the best of both worlds; She has that calico coat that camoflages and makes her the most stealth of hunters on our block. And she has that intelligence that so many Siamese cats possess.

I have to admit that I admire Sidewinder... I guess that's obvious. How many people take the time out of their workday to post a blog about their pets?

Let the record show, though, that I am not a steadfast "cat person". As a child I grew up w/ family members who were canine as well. Cats are just lower maintenance and while I still have atleast one young child in the house (my youngest just turned 11 last week), the only pets I can foresee will be the kind who utilize litterboxes.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand, here are the reasons why I want to be my cat someday. Most of them will be pretty obvious:

  1. The only thing I'd have to work at is how to look more regal whilst perched on top of my scratching post or the kitchen cabinets. Sidewinder has this down-pat. I lack the confidence to look upon everyone and everything w/ that "go to hell" stare.

  2. I would get fed regularly but could also go catch a hot meal pretty much anytime I want.

  3. Although I'd come from royal lineage (or atleast that's how she carries herself!), it would not be below me to take a sip out of the toilet from time to time.

  4. I'd be worshipped by humans. Well, they wouldn't KNOW they were worshipping me, but hey-- they'd be going through the motions regardless.

  5. Everyday would be a new adventure, even if that means I'd come across the occasional barking, chasing dog or a hostile kitty cat who is itching for a tussle. For the most part, life would be so nice. Getting petted, fed, talked to and loved... Going outside and then coming in again and then going outside.... Sounds monotonous but Sidewinder apparently enjoys doing this. And we don't let her outside in a timely manner, of course, out comes that Siamese YOOOWL!

So where do I sign up for that job? She must've been Mother Teresa in a former life... She had to have done SOMETHING really great to enjoy such a wonderful life!


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