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Some trolls you meet on the internet

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There are several types of trolls who post on public internet forums. Some posters are genuinely interested in helping others find solutions to their problems, meaningful dialogue and deep philosophical discussions. This is not about them There are other posters whose sole reason for existing appears to be to stir up trouble and controversy. Some of these types include: the know-it-all; the busybody; the one-trick pony; the insanely partisan; and the one-upper. These folks can be found on any internet discussion board or forum, inclduding this one.

The busybody is the nosy lady next door, always peering out her virtual window to make sure no one is doing anything of which she does not approve. She is appalled by the topics other people write about, and takes great pains to read, and comment, on them. Her gentlewomanly senses are offended by the stench of others' opinions and activities, yet she insists on dwelling on the blogs where these other odiferous posters post. Her notions of propriety are much more advanced than those of we mere mortals, and she lurks on every topic that might be considered the least bit scandalous to remnd us of our own inferior morals and values. She is prude, and a bore.

The know-it-all is a self-proclaimed expert on everything. No matter the subject, this fellow has seen more, and knows more, than anyone else ever He will go the distance arguing with anyone who has actual expertise in any given subject. He always has anecdotes and plausible facts to back his anecdotes, as long as you dont verify those facts with an independent source.

A closely related specimen to the know-it-all is the one-upper. No matter how bizarre, no matter how unique an experience you post about, the one-upper has a more outrageous tale to tell. Your experiences are mere appetizers to hisa adventures. You were attacked by a lion? He ws set on by a lion and a pack of hyenas. You once shook hands with a movie star? He dated one. We all know the type.

The one trick pony and the insanely partisan are kissing cousins. No matter the topic, one-trick manages to shoehorn in comments on his cause celebre. A thread on Model T Fords somehow morphs to abortion. Discussions on saving money while grocery shopping are interrupted with an important announcement about gay rights. Likewise, the partisan finds comfort in blaming everything wrong with the world on the other side. His party is not responsible for the terrorist attack that happened during their watch; the guy who used to be president is responsible. Truman's "The buck stops here" is only applicable if the guy in the Oval Office is from the other party.

Well, there you have it, a brief review of some of the trolls you find online.

Comments

classclown 4 years, 1 month ago

Most trolls are easy to spot. Their posts bear their marking along with their slogan.

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porch_person 4 years, 1 month ago

notajayhawk,

(laughter)

Being called "a troll" by someone who has been thrown off the forum is a compliment. Aligning yourself with someone like that is........

(laughter)

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notajayhawk 4 years, 1 month ago

beatrice (anonymous) says...

"It cracks me up how easy it is to twist nota's panties into a wad and get him to go all sexist! What a hoot."

And yet poor old bea is constantly obsessing on what she fantasizes I might be wearing for underwear. And I'm the sexist.

As usual, dearie -

just

frikkin'

brilliant.

Hey, but at least you have porchie on your side - so you have THAT going for you.


rrussell (Rex Russell) says...

"And now let's vote for the LJW's King of Trolls. Any nominations at this time ?"

I believe, if you scroll up the page, you'll see a certain _person has been nominated, seconded, and thirded.

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Tom Miller 4 years, 1 month ago

...and myself? Troll? most likely. Even my dad on his near-death-bed called me an a$$hole. In fact, what I'd said made him so angry, he's still alive today, and THAT was in August '01...my thought on the matter was, and is, whatEVER it took for him to find th' will to live, even if it's just to look for new and exciting ways to aggravate me...he's now 83, runnin' strong, and never missing an opportunity to annoy, and I love every minute of it...'s all gravy...so, yeah, I guess I AM a troll, and oftentimes worse...so be it...to semi-quote Popeye, "I yam what I yam, and that's ALL I yam."

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Tom Miller 4 years, 1 month ago

I'm curious...do we gotta say "expletive deleted" now in place of the forbidden "M" word? I'm just tryin' to be sure here...

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Tom Shewmon 4 years, 2 months ago

I was expecting someone to come back by now and say, "Do you think we needed you to tell us that Tom?" .........well??

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Sulla 4 years, 2 months ago

ANYONE who posts is considered a troll by some, who are naturally trolls themselves. And the ones to wonder about are those who whine about trolls.

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Flap Doodle 4 years, 2 months ago

"...would a normal person do that?" Are there any normal people who post here?

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Tom Shewmon 4 years, 2 months ago

I'll admit to being a troll. It's all you guys' fault!!

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beatrice 4 years, 2 months ago

It cracks me up how easy it is to twist nota's panties into a wad and get him to go all sexist! What a hoot.

Carly Simon fan? No. I'm more of a Meat Puppets / Clash / Pink Floyd kind of fan, although I'm familiary with popular culture from way back when. I also know nota doesn't recognize when he is being ridiculed for being a sad little man.

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rbwaa 4 years, 2 months ago

The_Original_Bob (anonymous) says... TOB's comment got deleted for mentioning the one who can not be mentioned.

February 17, 2010 at 12:49 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal ) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ so, is marion a bad name now?

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deec 4 years, 2 months ago

Can we vote for zombie trolls?

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Rex Russell 4 years, 2 months ago

And now let's vote for the LJW's King of Trolls. Any nominations at this time ?

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ozzynbn 4 years, 2 months ago

Roe_Dapple...... you've got the best Avatar of all time. I have that cartoon image on a t-shirt.

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dicknixon 4 years, 2 months ago

And how would one classify Mr. Penders?

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trollkiller 4 years, 2 months ago

There are trolls and there are people who have issues. Here's an rhetorical example. Let's say that there was a person who started a blog. All of the comments got removed, but the title remained posted under the "most discussed" category. Lets suppose that the blogs creator could still post on it even though the posts not visible to the public. What is visible is the count keeps growing by 50-100 posts per day, so the blogs title remains listed in the "most discussed" column....would a normal person do that?

nope.

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compmd 4 years, 2 months ago

Use hot grits with a statue of Natalie Portman naked and petrified! Oh, wait, wrong site. Let me try again.

All yall are full of biosolids you crazy [liberal|conservative] wingnuts! BushCo and Barack Hussein Obama are the cause of all our problems, you don't understand. Healthcare overhaul? That will [never|definitely] work! Stimulus? That [crock of biosolids|government program] only [destroyed|helped] the American economy. Darn [students|hippies] get off my lawn! The city commission is stupid and we [don't|really] need to spend on [the T|roads|keeping schools open|law enforcement]! The [Lawrence Police|FBI|Douglas County Sheriff] are corrupt and need to be exposed! Legalize [marijuana|underage drinking] because you know, [marijuana|K2|alcohol] doesn't hurt anyone! Let's get a posse and kill that [accused child molester|killer|tax dodger|speeder|drug dealer|jaywalker|politician] because they are evil and we need to [think of the children|defend our {selves|country|pocketbook|streets|freedom} from {republicans|democrats|libertarians|librarians|terrorists|muslims|each other|pedophiles|black people|white people|the government}]!

I may have just channeled every troll the LJW has ever known.

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porch_person 4 years, 2 months ago

No mystery that you're not into Carly Simon, notajayhawk. I bet James Taylor is a "40 year old song" as well. That sensitive singer-songwriter stuff is just not your thing.

I bet that's why you got into mental health. Your compassion, your understanding, your ........

(laughter)

I can't do any more.

(laughter)

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Sulla 4 years, 2 months ago

Always thought that Model Ts and the abortion debate go hand in hand myself.....

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Stretch_Marx 4 years, 2 months ago

Aren't we all kind of trolls on the net?

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notajayhawk 4 years, 2 months ago

Poor, old senile Bea, dearie, thinks I'm trying to be sweet to her - how sick is that?

Yes, Bea, I recognized the song, and somehow it fits that you're a Carly Simon fan. Unlike you, however, I can have joy, song, and happiness in my heart without having to listen to a 40-year-old song.

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beatrice 4 years, 2 months ago

nota speaks sweeter to me than to his own wife -- how sick is that?

Oh, and nota, my response was a play on words, referencing the old Carly Simon song. Sorry you didn't catch that. I guess that is what happens when you have no joy, song, or happiness in your heart.

Who is going to be the first to have an avatar get pinked?

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ivalueamerica 4 years, 2 months ago

For whom the bell trolls, it trolls for thee

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couranna1 4 years, 2 months ago

say what I want when I want and could care less who puts a classification on it and even less about what people think of it One troll I know for sure: deec

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labmonkey 4 years, 2 months ago

Snap and TOB (and perhaps JKealing)-

Why do I always see the comment count higher every time I get on LJWorld, yet I it tells me "Page not Found" when I click on it?

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prolifersforwar 4 years, 2 months ago

What about the Unemployed Knower and Expert of All Things? The Mouthpiece of the Divine? The Tightrope Walker? The Zero-to-Diatribe In One-Point-Six-Eight Seconds? The Chosen? The Let Me Choose For You? The Wise Wise Missives From My Bunker? The Retirement Has Left Me Somehow Unsatisfied? The I'm Not As Happy As I Think I Should And Liberals Are Why? The I Need An Enemy At All Times To Feel Better About Myself? I am glad I am none of those people.

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madameX 4 years, 2 months ago

I'd like to add one to the list:

The Spammer, a.k.a. The Copy-and-Paste Artist

I don't think a description is needed. Or the naming of names.

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The_Original_Bob 4 years, 2 months ago

"It appears that the Blog To End All Blogs is taking a dirt nap. That was some of the funniest stuff I've seen on LJW lately. RIP."

That blog was taking too long to load on my slow computer. I could not participate.

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1029 4 years, 2 months ago

I was attacked by trolls once. Eight of them. Mean little creatures. I managed to fight them off and escape because I had read a lot of books about them and all of their weaknesses and how they think. As a survivor of a troll attack, I find it offensive that the word is now being thrown around and mis-construed to mean something different. If the author understood anything about real trolls, he/she wouldn't have written this piece of garbage. And by the way, the underhanded jab at Obama is pretty noticeable and shows a real lack of class. Republicans are the dumb ones. Democrats are smart enough to detect these subliminal propaganda messages that the author "hid" in this blog.

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Flap Doodle 4 years, 2 months ago

It appears that the Blog To End All Blogs is taking a dirt nap. That was some of the funniest stuff I've seen on LJW lately. RIP.

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BrianR 4 years, 2 months ago

The_Original_Bob (anonymous) says... "TOB's comment got deleted for mentioning the one who can not be mentioned".

How many times have you been told not to say Voldemort out loud?

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trollking 4 years, 2 months ago

...so, you think being a troll is a bad thing?

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trollking 4 years, 2 months ago

...so, you think being a troll is a bad thing?

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Jimbecile 4 years, 2 months ago

Have any of you seen my baseball?

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75x55 4 years, 2 months ago

Jonas_opines - that a much refined version of a way-early list. Seem to recall seeing that one back about 13 or 14 years ago. It was so comprehensive even then that I don't think there's been any real improvement since.

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RoeDapple 4 years, 2 months ago

So,... if you do a blog about trolls, are you trolling for trolls??

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notajayhawk 4 years, 2 months ago

Too bad you can't read, Bea, dearie, or you would have known who I thought it was about (which I gave away when I mentioned who I thought it was about).

Sorry for forgetting to mention you, though.

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beatrice 4 years, 2 months ago

notajayhawk is so vain, he probably thinks this blog is about him.

"The know-it-all is a self-proclaimed expert on everything."

Well, I guess it is about him after all.

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Vic 4 years, 2 months ago

I certainly know of a blog around these parts that has it's fair share of busybody prudes.

I pulled a troll on this site once, just to see if I could do it. It was a version of the insanely partisan troll deec describes. The insanely partisan troll takes more than just politics into play. This person picks a side and goes over-the-top against anyone with opposing views.

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Tom Miller 4 years, 2 months ago

...seems that his name, or ANYthing regarding dog sledding and the library will gitcha "pinked", doesn't it? I don' unnerstand...

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The_Original_Bob 4 years, 2 months ago

TOB's comment got deleted for mentioning the one who can not be mentioned.

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Tom Miller 4 years, 2 months ago

ya know, funny thing, that anonymity thing...I've attempted, several times, to update my profile and reMOVE said anonymity for myself, to NO avail...seems the update process just doesn't make to the posts...again, ohwell.

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monkeyspunk 4 years, 2 months ago

Don't Feed the Trolls

"Normal Person + Total Anonymity + Audience = Total A55hat"

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Tom Miller 4 years, 2 months ago

Anna, I checked out yer provided link, and it accuratly represents MY opinion of most other blogs, forums, and posters...at the risk of sounding like I'm pandering, THIS is the ONLY one I can stand to read and follow...with occasional exceptions, most on here are reasonably articulate, and tend to intelligently present that wide variety of stated positions that I do so enjoy...there ARE exceptions, tho...logrithmic, marion, and various others tend to annoy me, but then, I am quite certain some others find me to be an aggravation...I certainly hope so...

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Tom Miller 4 years, 2 months ago

you give th' guy WAAY too much credit...he's too ineffectual to have caused THAT...LOL!

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Tom Miller 4 years, 2 months ago

...guess I see trolls in a different light...trolling was something I used to do in the bars, back when, but my understanding of a troll was a creature that lived under bridges...smelled bad, from living in the detritus of HOW they lived, and were pretty much not very socially acceptable critters...but hey, I guess a troll is one of those "eye of the beholder" type things...I'm sure some view me as one, but really, I don't care about others' opinion(s) of me...in the long run they seem to balance out...like nearly every thing in life, it seems to be sort of a trade-off...

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ferrislives 4 years, 2 months ago

You're very welcome. Please see my post on the "Bayh’s exit is bad sign for Congress" story for an example of posters not looking at the complexities of a story, but instead focusing on the never ending blame game.

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AnnaUndercover 4 years, 2 months ago

:)

Great post, deec. Loud dumb people on the Internet are no fun at all.

I've been recommending an XKCD cartoon to some who really take issue with ignorant commenters. It always makes me laugh when I get frustrated with a discussion that seems disappointing. This comic is focused on the, er, exceptional commenters of Youtube:

http://xkcd.com/202/

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Tom Shewmon 4 years, 2 months ago

Thank you sciencegeek, I'll take that as a compliment??? And thank you too ferris???

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ferrislives 4 years, 2 months ago

Tom, "insanely partisan" made me think automatically of you and ComradeRedRooster. Especially the following lines "No matter the topic, one-trick manages to shoehorn in comments on his cause celebre. A thread on Model T Fords somehow morphs to abortion. Discussions on saving money while grocery shopping are interrupted with an important announcement about gay rights. Likewise, the partisan finds comfort in blaming everything wrong with the world on the other side."

There are definitely times when stories that are completely unrelated to Obama somehow get blamed on him. That doesn't do your arguments justice; almost like the boy who cried wolf.

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labmonkey 4 years, 2 months ago

Actually Merrill and edjayhawk would pop into my head first before Tom. I have actually seen non-political posts from Tom....not many, but he has made some.

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Liberty_One 4 years, 2 months ago

notajayhawk (anonymous) says... TomShewmon (Tom Shewmon) says...

"first name that pops into my head is porch person"

That was the first name that popped into my head when I saw the subject line.


ditto

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notajayhawk 4 years, 2 months ago

TomShewmon (Tom Shewmon) says...

"first name that pops into my head is porch person"

That was the first name that popped into my head when I saw the subject line.

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RETICENT_IRREVERENT 4 years, 2 months ago

"There are some responses, such as those to certain on the street questions, that totally baffle me." - Mariposa

???

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musbhiorlo 4 years, 2 months ago

don't forget to mention trolls who think everyone but them is a troll, trolls that try to stereotype posters into troll categories

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The_Original_Bob 4 years, 2 months ago

This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.

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sciencegeek 4 years, 2 months ago

When I read the definition of "one trick pony and the insanely partisan", one name came immediately to mind: TomShewmon.

To be classified as a know-it-all would be a big step up for you, Tom!

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Tom Shewmon 4 years, 2 months ago

TOB, your 8:39......first name that pops into my head is porch person. Surely you don't mean me?!

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labmonkey 4 years, 2 months ago

Then there is the person who thinks he/she is better than anyone else commenting by placing them into catagories, yet will "go slumming" to let us know the error of our ways.

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smitty 4 years, 2 months ago

Those would be the ones that e-mail you......... to which you find it necessary to send a cease and desist demand?

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jonas_opines 4 years, 2 months ago

Mariposa, I think we're on the same page. From what I gather, the original usage for trolling was in trolling, or fishing, for comments, which would have made it troller, not troll. Somewhere along the way it got confoogled about, I guess.

Anyway, for a compendium of the variety of internet troll(ers), this page is by far my favorite.

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/

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headdoctor 4 years, 2 months ago

The above blog seems to be missing the covert troll and the attention whores. The only one of the two that need any other description is the covert troll. One who loves to work at causing trouble by using the message system of the forum or by passing things along personally to people they know off forum and by then an occasional post to steer the other posts to the prearranged situation so the fight can begin. I do think the covert troll is very closely related to the attention whore.

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svenway_park 4 years, 2 months ago

Ever meet anyone who pretended to be an Architect even though they didn't have the degree?

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smitty 4 years, 2 months ago

Then there is the forum misogynist, who applies gender specifics to stereotype issues as is the first example stated.

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headdoctor 4 years, 2 months ago

What I find amusing is there seem to be a lot of people who can't stand trolls. Yet most discussion type forums require a certain amount of trolling to get the topics going and keep them lively. If you could remove all trolls what you would have left is a very boring message board. Normally the really obnoxious trolls would be banned. Here on the LJW you have a variety partly because of the weird, random, favoritism enforcement of the TOS.

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Mariposa 4 years, 2 months ago

When I see the word troll, I think of fishing. As I am understanding it, in this sense it means to put out ideas as bait and see who will bite. I have found that the best way to deal with a story or blog that you really don't like is just to leave it alone. There are some responses, such as those to certain on the street questions, that totally baffle me.

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The_Original_Bob 4 years, 2 months ago

"The know-it-all is a self-proclaimed expert on everything. No matter the subject, this fellow has seen more, and knows more, than anyone else ever He will go the distance arguing with anyone who has actual expertise in any given subject. He always has anecdotes and plausible facts to back his anecdotes, as long as you dont verify those facts with an independent source. "

Hmmmm. I wonder who this describes.

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Donnuts 4 years, 2 months ago

Trolls.... it is so funny you use that word. I wonder that I border on that at times to people. Say, did you know that Sarah Palin's birthday is coming up? What would you give her? Oh, okay just kidding. Good post. I like that you have similar categories. I do have to admit sometimes people get awful preachy and others are real non-sensical. I know I border on non-sensical to mostly abstract.

Trolls.... how appropriate. Especially the nosy ones that can't find tolerance amidst their striving for perfection and the way in which others can not escape them at all. Of course in a public forum we would expect that.

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