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Death of a Colleague
Last week one of my colleagues died and yesterday there was a memorial celebration for her at the JCCC. Her name was Betty Bullock and she was in our sociology department at JCCC.
Betty was a wonderful person and I had just started to get to know her when she took ill. We were planning a learning community between biology and sociology and we were working on how to frame the materials in a way that showed the connections between these fields.
To us the connections were obvious, all about relationships and function and evolution at all levels whether we were talking about molecules, cells, the communities of sometimes distantly related cells, that make up multicellular organisms, or the communities of communities that make up the ecosphere.
I will miss Betty not only for the small connection we had built before she got sick but also for the lost chance to build our learning community. Nothing will be that community but I know what I want to do and what she would want too. Keep on going making community, even a small patch in a quilt, like the ones that Betty loved.
So yesterday I spoke to another friend, in sociology, who knew about what Betty and I were planning. Are you interested? Can we do this? Let's talk. It will not be the same learning community and we will have to start from scratch, but we both know Betty will be with us.
May this won't work, our philosophies will clash or the scheduling won't work or the students won't come. But that's not the point, is it.
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17 August 2008
at 11:37 a.m.
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liggyon (David Lignell) says…
Paul, Sorry to hear about your colleague's passing. I read her bio and she sounds like an accomplished and wonderful person. I was taken by the suggestion that people wear “bright-colored attire” to her funeral, which sounds like someone who valued life and living. Great idea to continue your partnership. As usual, it's a bit beyond my intellectual capacity, but count me in.
17 August 2008
at 12:44 p.m.
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lori (Anonymous) says…
Have you read a Pattern Language?
http://www.amazon.com/Pattern-Languag…
While it won't facilitate a lot of discussion on the biological aspect of your discussions, it sounds exactly like what you are trying to discuss in the area of community.
17 August 2008
at 4:43 p.m.
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justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
Paul, sorry for your loss and for the loss Betty's friends and family are experiencing as well.
I think your idea of carrying on with your plans will honor her life legacy and help complete that which was important to her.
There isn't a whole lot more that any of us can ask of a friend. Best wishes with your endeavors! :)
17 August 2008
at 6:58 p.m.
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Multidisciplinary (Anonymous) says…
They pretty much covered it all, so I'll just add..my empathy for all those that will miss her,and thank goodness there is an end for those who are suffering.
I like the idea of making the attire more festive.
When my son died, I compiled a cd of his favorite songs to play, instead of the traditional stuff.
So there was a room full of solemn people, and then suddenly Big & Rich's:Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy comes on. First a split second of what??!?, then realization hit them all and they broke out in tears and great smiles, imagining how he would have looked listening to it. Interspersed with his favorite popular songs, were some piano pieces he enjoyed. Think light-airy-cartoon-type pieces, Short, just enough to add a touch of flavor and class. A nice contrast to Brad Paisley's Fishin' Song.
And I have the cd to remember all the faces of those who attended.
17 August 2008
at 9:32 p.m.
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tangential_reasoners_anonymous (Anonymous) says…
Ronda: “Paul, sorry for your loss….”
And, I, empathetic in the moment, but grateful for the mortality which frames and places into perspective all human endeavor.
Rest in… ecstasy.
17 August 2008
at 9:52 p.m.
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justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
Amen, tange, amen
18 August 2008
at 6:42 a.m.
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femail (Linda Hanney) says…
Paul, my thoughts are with you after losing your friend and work colleague. I understand from your post that you respected and valued Ms. Bullock for her intellect and commitment to a like cause, in your case teaching. I agree with the others that she would appreciate you carrying on your project in her memory.
18 August 2008
at 6:56 p.m.
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nurse (Anonymous) says…
Paul, I was glad to see your blog and your comments regarding Betty B. She was my friend. Her son was my daughter's friend. What an amazing person she was. I had the good fortune to get to know her in a couple of areas that were special to her - women's rights and of course, things that involved our children. Of both subjects, she was very passionate! I was at the memorial service and I have thought of nothing else but her and her son since (he is such an amazing young man). I am a “wanna-be” quilter and I've decided that my first project (which is going to happen in very short order) will be about her and all of the things I gained from my relationship with her. As her colleague, continue your good work - that would be important to her for you to do so. She had so much life left to live, but she lived so much in her life. Thank you so much for your post. I have an anonymous friend to grieve with. Yesterday (Sunday), was such an extraordinarily beautiful day in the country (where I live) and my thoughts the entire day were filled of Betty B. and her log home in the country, her quilts, her intellect and her ability to live life to the fullest, and most importantly - her son - a wonderful young man. I hope she looks down from somewhere and knows how much she is missed and what a difference she has made in other's lives.
18 August 2008
at 11:51 p.m.
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pdecell (Paul Decelles) says…
Thanks for writing nurse,
The service was really nice and we did a good job of filling both the theater and our stomachs with delicious food, just as she wished!