‘Harper’s Island’: Would you like cream or sugar with that corpse?

“Harper’s Island” heats way up! This feels more like a penultimate episode than eight of 13. If the writers keep this pace (and body count) up the next few weeks, the show just might regain some viewers.

It’s supposed to be Trish Wellington and Henry Dunn’s wedding day, but instead, guests are docking a boat to head back to the mainland, away from votives, matchy-matchy bridesmaid bouquets and serial killers.

Trish’s sister, Shea Allen, is distraught that daughter Madison is missing, lured away by an unseen character at the end of the last episode. Shea’s cheating husband, Richard Allen, is missing, too, but that’s not because he kidnapped Madison; he expired in episode seven. There’s enough alarm about MIA Madison that Henry talks the key bridal party members off the boat — groomsmen Sully and Danny, bridesmaids Beth and Chloe, and Chloe’s boyfriend, Cal the Brit. The ensemble has a nice reaction here: Yes, we agreed to the bridesmaid dress fittings, the blow-up doll, Muffin, what have you, but staying on an island with a killer is a lot for the bride and groom to request. They consent to search for Shea’s daughter, because splitting up and investigating strange noises is par for the course, but their allegiance will waver throughout the episode.

Henry’s brother and chief suspect, J.D. Dunn, is in a jail cell next to Shane, locked up for several days/episodes for trying to kill J.D. When an unseen suspect kills the power to the station and shoots the deputy left to guard them, J.D. is able to reach the deputy’s keys and let himself out of jail. Shane feebly calls out he’ll kill J.D. for leaving him there. Get in line!

Sheriff Mills is looking for former deputy Cole Harkin, he of the burned face, and is caught in a booby trap outside Harkin’s hideout. He has a sharp stake driven through his thigh. Cole brings him inside to hash over old injustices but does not offer the sheriff any peroxide for that wound. Heroine Gigi, the frou-frou dog of slain bridesmaid Lucy, shivers and emotes around the cabin, working for that Emmy nomination. Cole pulls out a diary from John Wakefield, the man believed to have committed a bunch of murders on Harper’s Island seven years ago, but there’s little revealed there before Cole heads outside the cabin and is hit by two arrows. Well, flaming arrows, which set the cabin deck on fire. Is it terrible that I cheer whenever a character dies? There’s just too many of them still.

The search is on for Madison. Trish, Shea, Chloe, Cal and Danny visit the basement and find groomsman Malcolm’s skull in the incinerator. I admired the actress who plays Shea up to this point, but she acted more like she saw a big spider than the potential remains of her daughter. Cal helpfully offers that the skull is too big to be a child’s, but still.

Meanwhile, Abby, Henry and Trish/Shea’s stepmother, Katherine Allen, are searching outside and find Richard Allen tied to a tree with a stake driven through him. Katherine also underreacts a bit, here, but clearly theirs was not a deep relationship. Abby’s cell phone rings, and Madison (or a recording of Madison) is on the line: If anybody leaves the island, Madison says, she’ll be killed.

The bridal party doesn’t welcome the news that they’re expected to stay on the island to keep Madison alive, especially because the power and phone lines are now out. Trish slaps Sully, looks daggers at Chloe and probably won’t send thank-you notes to any other pals when this is over. They’re persuaded to stay for now, but they help themselves to a collection of rifles. Cal offers an ill-timed lecture on gun control. The party splits up: Abby and ex-boyfriend/townie Jimmy will go to the police station for help, Henry and Danny will start the inn’s backup generator, and the others will stay put. Or will they?

Abby and Jimmy find the slain deputy at the station as well as a vandalized short-wave radio. There’s no way to contact the mainland. Shane tells Abby and Jimmy where to find Sheriff Mills in exchange for his freedom. Abby and Jimmy next find Cole Harkin, who is dead, and Abby’s father, the sheriff, who tells Abby to rescue Wakefield’s diary, but it’s burned in the fire. The three hobble off to the marina.

Danny and Henry return to the inn, where they find Trish, Shea and Katherine, but not the others. Henry vows to find Sully, Beth, Chloe and Cal, who are planning a little sailing trip. The Scooby Gang has found a boat, but Cal finally backs off and says he can’t leave if that means a little girl would be hurt. He appeals to Chloe’s better nature — or her trophy wife-to-be instincts — and she reluctantly agrees to stay. Sully and Beth soon follow, ripe for killing.

At the marina, the sheriff tells Abby and Jimmy to take a boat to the mainland for help. In the moments that they split up, Abby takes a rifle to investigate a strange noise. (Oh, Abby.) She finds J.D. lying on the dock, covered in blood. All he’s able to tell her is that it’s all about her, and then he dies. And who’s that standing behind her? Well, that’s Henry. He has blood all over him. And he’s crying. End episode.

I’m glad J.D. is eliminated as a red herring. What’s even better? We’re down to a finite number of characters and murders where we can eliminate suspects — provided there is only one killer. (And that he’s one of the cast. If it’s some unknown fellow who’ll pop up in the last reel, I am going to be ticked.)

Here’s what we know: Abby is with various members of the bridal party or with Jimmy throughout the episode. Jimmy is accounted for at least during Harkin’s death, when he’s with Abby. The sheriff witnesses Harkin’s death — I don’t see how he could have accomplished it alone. Trish, Shea and Katherine are never alone. Danny, Sully, Chloe, Cal, Beth — none alone long enough that we know of to go kill Harkin for whatever reason and/or J.D. Shane has been locked up through too many deaths.

So who is alone to kill Harkin? Henry, when he says he needs to search for the bridal party after starting the generator. There’s also exactly one minute I believe Henry is innocent when he’s standing by Abby during Miranda’s call, but after the commercial break, neither he nor Abby can purportedly get a signal to call the others on the island, which suggests Abby’s call came from the immediate vicinity of herself, Katherine and Henry. So either Abby called herself for the prerecording of Madison, or Henry dialed while Abby and Katherine were looking at Richard. I like scenario B.

Could there be multiple killers? Yes. Could the killer be a minor player — the innkeeper or the bartender, or that crazy cab driver with the eyepatch from the first episode? Possibly. But unlikely. No, I think it’s significant that we’re down to one Dunn brother. And he ain’t servin’ coffee.