Project Runway Season 5, Episode 9 – Astrological avant-garde

A few lessons wannabe reality TV stars can learn from Wednesday night’s episode of Project Runway:When a top American designer compares your outfit to fecal waste, you know you’re on the outs. And when the judges think you can’t play well with others in a business that demands that you work with others, you also know you can’t be long for the reality TV world.OK, note to self, right? Or were those things given all along?Apparently the designers who got the boot didn’t think so – both were flabbergasted, even though it was clear they should be the ones to go home.!The challenge was one that could make both the competitors and the viewers cringe. The task? Create something avant-garde based on an astrological sign. The designers were paired up randomly with designers who had previously gotten the boot.The pairing of the scorned with still-in-it competitors creates quite a bit of built-in tension, but when Bravo added in the mix of creating a complex avant-garde look and the fact that two designers, not just one, would be eliminated – man, now that’s drama. And of course if that weren’t enough, then the show decided to steal four hours from the contestants by making them debut their outfits at an 8 p.m. party at a New York planetarium, rather than getting to work until midnight. At said party, the designers were going to be judged by past contestants – most notably first-season winner Jay and last-season winner Christian – to decide who would win the challenge. Wow, Bravo knows how to pile it on.Our lucky losers, Blayne and Terri, were each paired with the last two designers to go – Blayne with Stella, and Terri with Keith. Blayne and Stella do like each other and could work well together, which was kind of cute in a May-December kind of punk-rock way. And though we can’t blame Terri for not wanting to work with the still-raw Keith, she didn’t even try. She didn’t utilize him, didn’t take him seriously and didn’t take into account that – duh – if the judges even smelled a hint of a bad working relationship, it wouldn’t look so good for her. Hadn’t she watched this show before?!And here I thought maybe she had watched the show and learned something because right after every competitor called her out as a one-trick pony for making just pants-and-vests combos, she decided it was time to make a dress. Too bad she topped it off with sleeves that looked like the inflamed hineys of baboons. And I don’t care that last year’s winner, Christian, told her he didn’t like her initial furry shawl thing. It’s your design, lady.Then there was Blayne, who had been skating along despite not seeming to have talent for anything other than annoying catch phrases. Finally, someone noticed and he was sent back to the tanning booth from which he came. Now he can stop complaining about being pale and go back and bronze up before his appearance at the finale at Bryant Park. His offense? A completely hideous outfit that wasn’t avant-garde as much as it was just plain wrong. Blayne’s outfit did make the model look like she was “pooping fabric” as Michael Kors so giddily pointed out. It’s true. She did look like someone escaping the circus clad in nothing but her long underwear, belts and half-digested balloons.Not pretty any way around on either end. And so we say good-bye to sour-puss Terri and “girlicious” Blayne.A few random thoughts: – We almost got through an episode without Suede talking about himself in the third-person. Unfortunately, he did it in front of the judges. Bad move, Sarah says, bad move! – If those past competitors were successful after Project Runway, wouldn’t they have something better to do than hang out with their former show? Or does everybody just like free bubbly at the planetarium? – Think Keith went back to Utah feeling good about helping Terri get the boot or do you think it made him feel more sad? – Was Jerell’s design really worthy of being the winner? It had that dressed-in-the-dark look about it of Suede’s outfit from last week. … Joe’s was much better. – Will there be a Leanne and Kenley smackdown at some point?