LJWorld.com weblogs bearded_gnome
Posted
by Bearded_gnome
February 2, 2008 at 4:23 p.m.
January 31st
January 31st Our dam speaks with a mighty roar,Day by day-hour by hour;Our dam speaks for a mile most days,A sound ignored all the more,For its constancy perpetual,Holding forth his mighty power;Dog and I walked the levee one day, usual;Suddenly the dam's voice was not there in my mind's haze,Unheard where normally his voice is good, The dam was not speaking? The voice still, no voice vestigial, My ears heard not his roar;Dog looked me in the face, as still I stood,An answer to this puzzle seeking;Then, A snowflake gently rested on my nose, As if in reply: 'sound is lost in snows;'a slow and easy snowfall, Weathermen called it a dusting,And no wind gusting, A so Gentle snow, muffling the dam's mighty growl;I imagined mashed potato clouds filled the sky ;After walking much more,his familiar drone-my ears modulated,This fine snow made the levee More than usual cozy;I returned to my neighborhood,With echoing train whistles,And icy beard bristles;Snow and dam penetrated.
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Comments
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bearded_gnome (anonymous) says…
I am finding that writing poetry is very good mental exercise. with many illnesses, the past few years have tapped some of my sharpness. this poem was a delight to write, and I had it about half written in my head when I returned from the walk described in it. I think the rhyming structure I used is called "open rhyme" somebody with more knowhow or elbowgrease on poetry meter can correct me!. I used that rhyme style to emphasize being outdoors.
pdecell (Paul Decelles) says…
Well your mind is clearly still sharp! Nice job!
bearded_gnome (anonymous) says…
thanks, but the iron still needs sharpening. thanks for reading and commenting paul.
Valkyrie_of_Reason (Kathy Getto) says…
Don't sell yourself short, gnome. This is really nice, damn the rhyming structure! I write down many of my thoughts this way, but have always been hesitant to show some to complete strangers.
bearded_gnome (anonymous) says…
thanks valkyrie. I wrote this comment last night and through the magical mystery of digital monkybusiness, it ain't here; so, here goes again!
thank you o valkyrie I appreciate your comment. I liked doing it in rhyme as it made a very nice kind of word game and I felt I was writing in the old fashioned ballad style that way. I wrote in open rhyme to try to give the reader more of a feeling of being outside.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
Very nice gnome. I really felt connected with your world through this open, poetic style. The nice thing about creative writing is that you can create with your words - and that you did wonderfully well.
I heard the silence of the damn through the snow - through your ears and because of your word choices. I could picture your dog's hesitancy as it watched your face for a sign of what to do - to help you overcome your confusion. I loved reading it aloud. Thank you for sharing this with us!
I hope all of you , this includes you, reason, will share yourself with us this way - this is the point of being alive!
snap_pop_no_crackle (anonymous) says…
gnome, you talented scamp. Thanks for sharing that with us.
bearded_gnome (anonymous) says…
thanks Ronda,
I sincerely appreciated your comments and they will be remembered.
***
snappy,
thanks. I enjoyed writing this. keep up the good fight.
kansascrone (Virginia Rigney) says…
beautiful poem. i got the same peaceful feeling i get when in the rocky mountains during a heavy snow.
bearded_gnome (anonymous) says…
virginia,
snow is beautiful, I wish we had so many words than just one "snow." there are different types of snow, and in this poem I meant that it was 'cozy' in the soft gentle light snow. I'm a california transplant (22 years ago) and have found many reasons to
one alaska native people group has over twenty words we would translate 'snow.' appreciate snow.
pearlgirl (anonymous) says…
i am so proud to see your poem here again. in fact, i am glad you are writing so beautifully and the rhyming structure is so good. it certainly conveys the feeling of how light snow feels and you have given a very beautiful description of a beauty of nature. yes, this is a game of words and it seems you are quite good at it. keep writing such wonderful poetry because you certainly have good comand over rhyming and describing things.