If Life Made any Sense at all

Posted by Autie July 17, 2009 at 11:36 a.m.

Recently, my dog got out and was on the loose. I saw him about a block from my house, over by the street which is a main highway through town. Being a responsible pet owner and knowing that swine flu is following the trade routes, I loaded him up and took him to our local vet to be tested for the flu. He was fine. We got home and my middle daughter was over visiting and my wife commented that I took the dog to the vet. To which she quizzically remarks, "Why is it that vets have their own special day?" Of course we look at each other somewhat puzzled and ask what are you talking about. So she in turn replies, "You know, in November. What is so special about them that have Veterinarians Day?" This is the same child that when asked, "don't you know how to sew on a button" she said "What do I look like? Betty Crocker".

So then I was forced to watch Ghost Hunters International because regular Ghost Hunters wasn't on. Plus, I'm Mr. Agnostic when it comes to such things. I'm told to limit my remarks because some people may be really interested in the subject matter and just because I'm skeptical, I should keep my mouth shut. OK. They do this EVP thing. Electronic Voice Phenomena. They are in the Czech Republic. Later in the reveal, they hear some EVP garble saying something like, "Help Me"..If you have ever watched Ghost Hunters, you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I can't help it. I have to ask, "If they are in the Czech Republic, shouldn't the ghost speak in an eastern European dialect and not English?"

If it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college. Have you ever been to college because of your horse?

Copy and paste the link:

LJWorld.com doesn’t necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy. Also, read about banned accounts and harassing comments.

The_Original_Bob (anonymous) says…

Excellent parody, Mr. Autie.

"If they are in the Czech Republic, shouldn't the ghost speak in an eastern European dialect and not English?"

Good observation. I think all those shows are bunk. Kind of like some of the fishing shows where it shows them catching bass every minute and then you realize the guy is wearing a red hat in one shot and a blue hat in the other or his lure is completely different.
July 17, 2009 at 1:11 p.m.
autie (anonymous) says…

And to add to the confusion of life, I talk to my sister today (they are getting back into the camping scene) and she asked me if there was water at Big Hill Lake. I'm like totally dumbfounded for a brief moment and say, "Why yes there is...its a lake. a whole lake full of water!" Apparently her reference was potable piped in water spigots at the camp sites. Oops. My bad.
July 17, 2009 at 1:17 p.m.
The_Original_Bob (anonymous) says…

If life made any sense at all, it wouldn't feel like October outside. Sometimes it is good for life to not make sense. Other times, mysterious. Such as, why is there sausage gravy, but not bacon gravy?
July 17, 2009 at 2:15 p.m.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…

There is bacon gravy, but similar to sausage gravy, you have to make it. I think it also has something to do with how quickly one can shove a crispy piece of bacon into one's mouth...

Fun blog, autie..I am hoping this will help my comments increase so I can win the hog blogger award..... ;)

Nancy Grace is at the top of my hate list as well. She has interesting shows/topics, but I can not stand that woman...her looks (I know, I know not her fault), her voice (I know, I know, not her fault), her opinions...yeah, yeah...her fault. How did she land that show!

One of my favorite comments was when my ex husband asked me how deaf people use the elevator...we were at the time in an elevator, I was ready to give birth...and he was noticing the braille on the elevator buttons....

Another time a friend of mine was watching the owner of a Chinese rest. making pork egg rolls...she knew they were pork egg rolls and then she asked..."What do you put in those..hamburger?".......

Life...so fun you just don't want to stop livin it.
July 17, 2009 at 2:26 p.m.
autie (anonymous) says…

Or why Rhode Island is not even an island? Or why would your kid want to live in a dorm when she had a willing relative four blocks from campus? Why does Marion know so much about everything? What happened to my cousin in the bikini? Why is a slow speed chase even referred to as a chase? Why is there a couch in my front yard?

Life is intended to be riddled with riddles. A man told me that life would be a b*tch. I told him no. If it was a b*tch, it would be easy.
July 17, 2009 at 2:27 p.m.
The_Original_Bob (anonymous) says…

If life made any sense at all, Nancy Grace wouldn't be on tv. Same with O'Reilly, Olberman, and the rest of that wretched lot.
July 17, 2009 at 2:32 p.m.
liggyon (David Lignell) says…

Nancy Grace...is there a better oxymoron out there?
July 17, 2009 at 2:47 p.m.
beatrice (anonymous) says…

Wow iced, does mom know you are back on the computer again?
July 17, 2009 at 3:21 p.m.
autie (anonymous) says…

Actually that kid is very successful. Does quite well for herself. She just had a history of very blonde moments. That would be Veridigris river water for us down in the southern provinces.
July 17, 2009 at 3:21 p.m.
Irish (Leslie Swearingen) says…

I remember listening to Molly McGee on the radio and the way she would mix up words. And, George and Gracie, say goodnight, Gracie.
It's all funny.
I am watching MSNBC as I write this. I turn it on first thing in the morning.
Sec of State Hillary Clinton has arrived in India today. I wish there was move coverage of her.
Actually, Autie, your blog was cute and funny. I too watch Ghost Hunters. I think it should be live because it would be fun to see them find something - or someone.
July 17, 2009 at 3:22 p.m.
The_Original_Bob (anonymous) says…

I used to eat The Overlander at Molly McGee's in the old place.

Bea - This happens every summer. The Jr. High kids have more free time. It goes away when school starts.
July 17, 2009 at 3:50 p.m.
RETICENT_IRREVERENT (Ronaldo Ignacio) says…

autie,
What in the Sam Hill happened to the horse?
It wasn't something like that scene with Marlon Brando and his horse in the movie "Missouri Breaks" was it? Because that would just be sick sick sick.
Ewww.
July 17, 2009 at 3:50 p.m.
DaleRogers (anonymous) says…

Irish, that was Fibber McGee and Molly. Mom used to tell me my room looked like Fibber McGee's closet. MSNBC is crap news. Now onto ghosts and William Blake.................................................

`I see,' said I, `a naked figure with a strong body and a short neck—with burning eyes which long for moisture, and a face worthy of a murderer, holding a bloody cup in his clawed hands, out of which it seems eager to drink. I never saw any shape so strange, nor did I ever see any colouring so curiously splendid—a kind of glistening green and dusky gold, beautifully varnished. But what in the world is it?' `It is a ghost, Sir—the ghost of a flea—a spiritualization of the thing!' `He saw this in a vision then,' I said. `I'll tell you all about it, Sir. I called on him one evening, and found Blake more than usually excited. He told me he had seen a wonderful thing—the ghost of a flea! "And did you make a drawing of him?" I inquired. "No, indeed," said he, "I wish I had, but I shall, if he appears again!" He looked earnestly into a corner of the room, and then said, "Here he is—reach me my things —I shall keep my eye on him. There he comes! his eager tongue whisking out of his mouth, a cup in his hand to hold blood, and covered with a scaly skin of gold and green."—
July 17, 2009 at 3:53 p.m.
Irish (Leslie Swearingen) says…

MSNBC is great. I agree with Chris Matthews and I like the Ed show.
I really like William Blake. His poem about the little chimney sweep always makes me cry. I have often wondered how such people come to be with such gifts and such as way of seeing the world.
In the painting the ghost is holding some sort of pot and looking into it with a surprised or frightened expression. I can't tell which.
What is the meaning of the meteor trail in the painting?
Blake did this when he was with the artist-astrologer John Varley.
Maybe I will audit an art class at KU this fall.
July 17, 2009 at 6:17 p.m.
autie (anonymous) says…

Thanks guys. DaleRodgers, Edgar Allan Poe much? the dark side of confusion. Excuse please, time to put the meat on....and why is it you teach your kids all this stuff of life and they have to come over and call and such...?? With the same damn questions. Then think, we have become the mentors, the teacher...how did you see me do that, Danielsan? that part is when the confusion of life becomes more clear. So pardon, filet mignon must be rare, not raw.
July 17, 2009 at 7:14 p.m.
Did_I_say_that (DIST) says…

Since Mr. Ed and ghosts have become the subject - here is proof that Mr. Ed was satan. I have no idea what it has to do with anything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc0iP_...
July 17, 2009 at 7:22 p.m.
Irish (Leslie Swearingen) says…

Did_I_say_that, thanks for the link. I loved it. That's the real reason CD's replaced records, you can't play them backwards and learn the truth they are concealing from us.
No one on here has any idea of what anything has to do with anything. :-)
But, that really the beauty of it.
If Freud had a blog on the Journal World he would be doing therapy on himself.
July 17, 2009 at 8:28 p.m.
autie (anonymous) says…

Now, in life. When it gets too confusing, if I don't listen to Beethoven's 9th...I do this...it makes the world right again:
the plus is my oldest daughter is Jessica.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfM6nR...
July 17, 2009 at 10:04 p.m.
The_Original_Bob (anonymous) says…

Autie - Google or Youtube Warren Haynes or Derek Trucks. They brought the Allmans to my generation.
July 17, 2009 at 10:16 p.m.
RETICENT_IRREVERENT (Ronaldo Ignacio) says…

autie,
The horse?
July 17, 2009 at 10:52 p.m.
tangential_reasoners_anonymous (anonymous) says…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OttopG...
July 17, 2009 at 11:07 p.m.