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Writing your erotica: an afternoon lead by Dixie Lubin in the company of other women
It was Sunday afternoon the last weekend of April. I had been looking forward to Dixie Lubin's erotica workshop ever since I'd heard about it and immediately had signed up to attend. I was running late, having been at a committee retreat meeting at our local District Two Kansas Authors Club President, Susie Nightingale's house.
I parked in the lot adjacent the house where I attend poetry sessions twice monthly, let myself quietly in and grabbed the closest chair. Dixie Lubin (one of my favorite poets who has the most lovely open and accepting demeanor) was leading the group of approximately ten women, ages ranging forties, fifties and sixties, in an awareness exercise. The other women were sitting quietly with their eyes closed, faces open and relaxed. Dixie smiled serenely in my direction as I immediately dropped the hustle and stress of everyday life and allowed myself to be carried into another world. She was talking about allowing a rose to unfold within our heart and chest area, as well as in our minds. When I think of rose petals unfurling, I think about a specific body part opening and as we came out of the relaxation and awareness guidance, my writing about my sexuality began to open and unfold.
Writing erotica was an enlightening and profoundly moving experience. As the women took turns going around the table reading what they had written - a blend of fact, fantasy, desire - I learned a great deal about them, myself, social taboos and just how similar all of us are in terms of our sexuality.
Erotica can mean many different things to different people - I tend to look things up in the dictionary, and I noticed another word for erotica is porn (really! hehe), but erotica isn't porn to me. Erotica is the softer side of sex. It isn't just about the thrusts, inserts, positions, numbers, it is about touching another, oneself, love making, pleasuring, titillating, caressing, openness, experimentation, non judgement.....perhaps even going someplace no man has gone before.
So, not only did I learn a great deal about myself, the wonderful sharing ability and life experiences of the other women within the group, but also about what often is missing from our lives. As a Life Coach, I frequently discuss how short this human experience is, how important it is not to allow fear to control and box us in within our lives, how we should put away the judgements we feel toward other people - and often, feel even more harshly towards ourselves.
I shared my erotica writings with male friends over the next few days. I was delighted and surprised when they shared some of their own with me. It wasn't porn, it was an appreciation of the absolutely wonderful sensations our bodies have the capability to feel and assist another to feel. It was an appreciation of the beauty of our sexuality in all its vast ability to give and receive. And, I suspected that if I were to share what was written by the males and females, no one would have known the difference of which sex it had been written.
I've heard a lot of positive media about the book, "Fifty Shades of Grey" by E L James. I have not read it. I don't have the time. I'm too busy writing and experiencing my own erotica.
Please share your own favorite memory of an erotic time (remember this is a community forum with restrictions and young readers).
What have you done to enhance your sexuality recently?