LJWorld.com weblogs At Random
Posted
by Ronda Miller
August 1, 2011 at 11:23 a.m.
It's too damn crazy hot!
I remember we had a blazing hot summer the year my cousin decided to come to Lawrence in preparation of attending KU - isn't that the reason we're all here? We had temperatures of 113 degree for a couple of weeks, or was that temperatures over one hundred for thirteen days?
I can't remember; who can the way the sun sizzles my brain and my bare feet when I hot foot it (literally) to the mail box. I'm sure it's an amusing sight, and I'm not sure why I refuse to wear shoes. I guess I just like feeling blisters building on my soles. I mean what's life about if it isn't accompanied by suffering?
And, since we all know how much misery loves company, we're going to share personal experiences and hardships incurred from this heat.
and 30 others
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Comments
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justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot my plastic tablecloths melted together on the patio set on my deck.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot our rear view mirror melted out of the top of the car and now dangles like that disgusting cord inside the chicken neck - my aunt akways wanted me to eat it, but I refused!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot that clumps of rattlesnakes lay close enough together that they look like cow patties. I've been told they take turns rattling each other for the breeze! They've been known to blow in each other's ears too!
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…
Too hot to trot?
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…
I really don't mind the heat so much. I find it easier to cool down in this weather than to stay warm in cold weather.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
But wouid you eat that noodle thing in a chicken neck? :)
Old bones prefer dry heat!
George_Braziller (anonymous) replies…
I'm the same.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Hi, George!
I'm glad some like it hot. I do have to admit I prefer looking outside at this rather than seeing a blizzard going on.
The real question here is whether you'd eat the chicken neck noodle. Lol
George_Braziller (anonymous) replies…
I really don't have a clue what a "noodle thing in a chicken neck" even means. And I honestly don't care. If you don't want to eat it then don't.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Hehe. I'm telling my aunt you said so. Trust me though - once you've seen it you will never forget it. And now get this, it's even bigger on a turkey. :)
It helps to appreciate these people have eaten pig's feet and head cheese.
Crazy_Larry (anonymous) replies…
It's easier to find blankets than air conditioning. I can't imagine trying to go to live through this heat without an air conditioner. If RoeDapple was poor and couldn't afford A/C I'm sure he'd have a different take on the heat and how easy it is to cool down...try living under a bridge! I prefer winter.
RoeDapple (anonymous) replies…
A little shade and cool creek water running over my feet does it for me! My comfort zone runs a little higher than most.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Sounds like a cuzin who has acclimated. A clam mated. Clam fry? Osters?
TopJayhawk (anonymous) replies…
More loose associations Rhonda? They have meds for that now, you should check it out.
By the way, are you the guy or the girl in your avitar?
It's so hot outside, I am reading one of Rhonda's blogs. Usually I have better things to do.
LadyJ (anonymous) says…
Just bought one of those soaker hoses and left it on for a while today. When I came back about 10 birds were sitting along it to get the drops of water as they came out. Felt bad and took the flower pot out of the bird bath and filled it up.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
I feel for them too. My two cats are so strange. They prefer staying outside, but they do lay in the shade and on any place that has water on it. I guess they've acclimated! Maybe being Persian they like hot climate! :)
riverdrifter (anonymous) says…
It's so hot in Texas that the rattlesnakes are vacating Palo Duro canyon.
It's so hot in Kansas they're setting off hydrogen bombs to cool the place off.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
You've got the idea! Perhaps we can create an urban legend about this summer's heat wave!
It's so hot that the cliffs just outside of town melted into the skinny dipping pond!
ksmatrix52 (anonymous) says…
Its so hot I can't think of its so hot jokes!
ksmatrix52 (anonymous) says…
OK... wait a minute...got one.........OOPS.... lost it to the heat!!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Hehe, indeed. It not only takes our breath away, but our brains as well.
riverdrifter (anonymous) says…
"That hot ol' summer sun makes you beg for your next breath,
So you best be on the creek bank laid in the shade.
Chewin' on a hickory twig, pass that bottle, I'll have me a swig,
I ain't got a lot, but I think I got it made (in the shade)."
-Hank Williams Jr.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Hank! He always knew what to say and how to sing it.
hiphopsux (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that the epoxy that holds my wife's side view mirrors on melted. Both of them within a few hours of each other- just fell right off and broke on the ground.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
It must have been the epoxy that melted and left our rear view mirror dangling. Sorry to hear about your wife's car. Does insurance cover heat related mishaps? Seriously, that is crazy damn hot!
Andini (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that I just saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.
snap_pop_no_crackle (anonymous) replies…
+5
kernal (anonymous) says…
It's so hot, spit evaporates before it hits the ground.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
Getting a little crazy dam hot now Andini and kernal! Loving it!
CWGOKU (anonymous) says…
It is just right. But if it gets much hotter, I'll have to turn on the A/C
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Hehe. My iPhone weather channel says it's 104 with a heat index of 109. Are you holding out for 110?
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so damn hot
I've got blisters on my soul
It's hotter than hell
Gets way down below
But the people of Kansas
Are looking out for each other
Treating them all
Like sister and brother
It seems there's no evil
In the Wheat State today
'Cause Satan's gone home
Where it's cooler, to stay.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
It's so hot that my field of corn just popped!
The wheat sheaths baked themselves into bread
The man in the moon turned over, played dead
It's really too hot to get out of bed
The streets have cracked, buckled, now bled
I'm staying put until things cool down
Anything beneath a hundred will feel mighty fine
We know it will happen, just give it time
CWGOKU (anonymous) says…
Hotter than a bunch of fat guys in a Smartcar
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
+9
beatle919 (Marcy McGuffie) says…
I leave a spray attachment on my hose. Turned on the water today, walked around to the back to water the garden and the hose literally burst open, before I picked it up. I'm blaming the heat (and will NOW take off the attachment, when not in use).
My friend had some asphalt melt onto one of her car tires a week or so ago. Yeah...the heat has overstayed it's welcome!
I'm not a fan of only having two window A/C units in this old house. But, at the same time, I'm grateful they work!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
I'll bet it was hot water too! Way dangerous!
I've had runners (what the heck are they thinking) ask me to hose them down as they run by, but 'the hose water is so hot it took the skin right off of them and I had to call 911. Then we couldn't figure out which melted puddle of skin and fat belonged to which runner. :)
Ok, I'm exaggerating a tad!
beatle919 (Marcy McGuffie) replies…
:) Sometimes, I wish the LJWorld had a "like" button. Indicative of too much Facebook time, I guess.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
I'm with you. It's odd how many times I think of liking something.
H_Lecter (anonymous) replies…
6:00am is the best time to run because the automatic sprinklers are on.
Did_I_say_that (DIST) says…
It is so hot at DIST's house that I saw a couple of squirrels squirting water on their nuts to keep them from roasting.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
These jokes about squirrel nuts are cracking me up. :)
Free the squirrels!
Jay_lo (anonymous) replies…
If you free all the squirrels, who's gonna take resposibility for all the nuts out there?
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
I believe that is cuzin Roe's nuts on 'the loose. Lol.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot a squirrel's nuts just burst into flame! I beleive it was "Rocky the Frying Squirrel"!
CWGOKU (anonymous) says…
"Hot enough for ya"? That dumb question makes me hot.
Fun blog, thanks
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
You're making it fun. Ok, so I can not control myself any longer (seriously, I tried). What do you call a Smart car full of obese men on a 105 degree day? A tub of lard. My apologies.
TopJayhawk (anonymous) replies…
Pretty un PC there Rhonda.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
It's so hot Topjay begged to be underneath.
jkealing (Jonathan Kealing) says…
I took this blog and Twitterized it: http://twitter.com/#!/LJWorld/status/...
Hope you all are choosing to stay cool by hunkering down with your computers and LJWorld.com. I know I am. 105? Crazy.
Jonathan
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
I thought you were coming on to tell us to cool it on 'the squirrel jokes. :)
I've always wanted to be twitterized!
I tried to sit outside with my iPhone, but it's so hot that my iPhone melted into 'the side of my face. Now I look like a high tech robot with a computer chip on my shoulder.
Jay_lo (anonymous) replies…
I have a smart phone. It wouldn't even go outside with me.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
That's one smart phone!
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot a squirrel just came by my patio and stole the little umbrella out of my drink.
marymo70 (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.
snap_pop_no_crackle (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that when I went to get a refreshing beverage from the fridge, I discovered a basset hound sitting in the crisper.
I said, "What are you doing in my refrigerator?"
He said, "Isn't this a Westinghouse?"
"Why, yes, it is."
Well, then, I'm westing."
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Ah, now that's cute! It'd be even better if it would have been a squirrel putting his swollen nuts on ice.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that a horse said if I would lead him to water we could take turns making each other drink.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Lmao. Too funny because it is so ridiculous.
snap_pop_no_crackle (anonymous) replies…
+5
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I just saw a squirrel with only one nut left. He was offering to trade his left nut for an air conditioner!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
These poor squirrel nuts and AC units are worth their weight in kidneys on 'the black market apparently.
Jay_lo (anonymous) replies…
It's so hot that an Urban Legend told me I could have the darn kidney, he just wanted to wake up in a bathtub full of ice.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that I saw a dog panting so hard he was blowing himself backwards across the yard.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot my sweat suit and my birthday suit are both the same suit.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot even my sweat is sweating!
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that I put a six pack of beer on ice in my cooler and an hour later I opened the cooler and all the beer was gone. You thought I was going to say ice didn't you?
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that the local ice hockey team won the swim meet.
Jay_lo (anonymous) replies…
But their mascot drowned : (
He was driving the Zamboni.
Raiden (anonymous) replies…
OMG best yet....
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Over the top ten, Jay!!
lonelane_1 (anonymous) says…
I was going to steal a Letterman joke about being so hot I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts & then I realized the squirrel/nut jokes have made the rounds here already. So thanks, Letterman, for all your years of squirrel/nut jokes about the weather that still make me laugh.
mom_of_three (anonymous) says…
you guys are funny! I got... nothing..
It's too hot to think.
Raiden (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I heard the squirrel in my front yard chatter to his compadres, "nuts to this heat, I'm outa here.
mom_of_three (anonymous) says…
my parking places are determined by the shade factor and not by distance.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that I almost put down my ice cold beer and walked out of my air conditioned house to tell my wife that she could finish mowing the yard later.
CWGOKU (anonymous) says…
It's so hot the fleas on my dog are sweating
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot the Girl Scouts don't need a campfire to make 'smores.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that I baked a turkey, 3 pies, and a casserole, in my car on the way home from the grocery store.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so 'hot I eat stewed tomatoes right off the vine.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that I went to a Mel Gibson movie because the theater was air conditioned.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot I decided to have sex with George Clooney to cool down. :)
lonelane_1 (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I saw a squirrel at the indoor rink putting his nuts on ice.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…
It's too hot to start a new job . . . but mine starts tomorrow!
Jay_lo (anonymous) replies…
Squirrel Catcher?
RoeDapple (anonymous) replies…
CNC machine operator, cabinet parts
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
It's so hot Roe took a job so somebody else pays for 'the ac!
RoeDapple (anonymous) replies…
Metal building, few doors/windows, hot machine.
Love it!
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I ordered a frozen pizza and refused to tip the delivery boy because it was hot when he got here.
rockchalker52 (anonymous) says…
It is so hot that Jay_lo is on fire!
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…
Just came from Lawrence. Explorer reading 111 degrees, various time and temp on 6th street reading 109 to 117. A breezy 105 at home.
marymo70 (anonymous) says…
Saw a duck walking and he was carrying a canteen.
Crazy_Larry (anonymous) says…
My $220 electric bill.
RoeDapple (anonymous) replies…
$275.15 here . . .
Crazy_Larry (anonymous) replies…
Ouch! I thought mine was bad...You might consider turning the thermostat up a couple days a week and grabbing a bucket of water for your feet! Maybe put some pants in the freezer. Save some of that money for fun stuff like powder and brass.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6PjOR...
RoeDapple (anonymous) replies…
Heck I turn it up every day Crazy_Larry! I set it at 78/80 then the next time I look it is back at 72. I don't think the cat or dog can reach it so I suspect the Mrs. . . .
Crazy_Larry (anonymous) replies…
Well then, sounds to me like you're up the creek without a paddle. Ever try tying the old girl up so she can't get to the thermostat? Wait, you might just be headed farther up the creek with a move like that.
Jay_lo (anonymous) replies…
It's so hot Roe had to walk up the dry creek without his paddle.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
Mine is right up there or higher. I know there is something in place for those who can't afford to pay gas bills to keep their heat on so they don't freeze to death. Is there something similar for electric? I'm also not sure if more deaths are attributed to heat or cold
yearly.
1 confirmed and 21 suspected deaths so far this year due to the heat wave - I'm not sure if that's in KC or statewide. Our hottest day is coming up tomorrow!
camper (anonymous) says…
It is so hot, I think even the fish are hot.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
I told my wife she was "Smokin' Hot", she said "Thank You" and I said, "No Seriously!"
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that not even the blondes are sun bathing.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that my cuzzin who everyone says is half-baked went for a walk and came back done!
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that they had a weinie roast at the nudist camp!
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot my shadow went to sit in the shade.
Crazy_Larry (anonymous) says…
It's so hot, I tried running off some squirrels with the hose and they just sat there enjoying the water.
pace (anonymous) says…
so hot the parking lot stood up on it's hind feet and slapped me, twice, once when I got out of the car and again as i exited the store.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Hehe. Love it!
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I lit my barbecue grill and the thermostat on the front went down.
beatrice (anonymous) says…
It's so hot, the farmer fed his chickens ice chips so they wouldn't lay hard-boiled eggs. (a variation on an old theme)
It's so hot, you need oven mitts to drive the car.
It's so hot I'm sweating boiling water.
It's so hot, Al Gore used all his carbon credits running his a/c.
Of course, the reason none of these are all that funny? It's too d... hot to be funny!
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot outside my American Express card made me leave home without it.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that when I passed gas 4 people thanked me for the breeze!
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that Ronda sunburned her tongue!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
And her tongue was where when it sunburned? Still thinking chicken neck noodle. Hehe.
Neither Poe or myself do well in the heat. We have weak constitutions and don't tan anyway.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I saw a chicken plucking itself.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot at the pool that one out of every two and a half men goes off the deep end. Sorry Charlie.
cait48 (anonymous) says…
My first husband used to say that you could always put more clothes on but there were only so many you could take off!
camper (anonymous) says…
Jay_Lo, if you are inventing these yourself, I stand in awe.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
I was just thinking the same thing. Jay could be a standup comedian except it's too 'hot' to stand - he'd be wilted!
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
Its so hot I took a job in Alaska where it's 56 degrees right now.
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
I took the job in Alaska. Now I HAVE to come home on a weeks leave.
It's so hot, I'm afraid to come home.
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
Hot, hot whatta ya got
This is fryin and that is not
Squirrels the blunt
Of everyones pun
If it wasn't so hot
You wouldn't have any fun.
Tiki tiki taka taka in your AC san sun.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
On the plus side. It's so hot that my computer quit freezing up.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that by the time you finish reading the "to microwave frozen" instructions on your burrito you don't have to.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so 'hot that if John Wayne were alive he wouldn't swagger.
Jay_lo (anonymous) replies…
Good one justbegintowilt. They were able to cut 10 minutes off the remake of "The Cowboys" by having the actor who plays John Wayne's part shorten his line from "We're burning daylight" to "We're burning"
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that I have "Goose Dimples"
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Ha! I believe you have the capacity to write as many masterpieces for late night comedians as you do books of poetry. What a quick mind!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot I think topjay's comments are cool. (some people get so bent if you won't go out with them!). Ah, squirrel nuts!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot that when I asked the place where I bought my fruit trees to honor their money back guarantee, they said, 'when hell freezes over!' and they were talking about Kansas.
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
Its so hot the trees are p..ing on the dogs
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
Its so hot my tabasco is sweating.
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
Its so hot the ice cream truck melted.
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
Its so hot my grass has gone underground.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
Scientists this morning announced the discovery of a giant icy comet that is expected to pass within 100 miles of the earth. They were scrambling for a plan to attempt to divert its course towards Kansas.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that I sweat off 10lbs. just by going to the gym - from my car - in the parking lot.
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
Its so hot my picture proves it.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
Jay, if it wasn't so hot I'd suggest a duel between you and Wiki. As it is, you'll have to continue with the jokes! You've got steep competition now!
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
I saw the ghost of Hank Williams in Lawrence yesterday. He said he finally found a way to melt her "Cold, Cold Heart".
OldHomeTown (Sarah St. John) says…
It's so hot, I just saw two trees fighting over a dog.
Caesar_Augustus (anonymous) says…
It's so hot, Tad's is serving shaved water.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that justbegintowilt changed her name.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
Speaking of change, it's so hot that they changed the Kansas state song to "Heatwave" by Martha & the Vandellas.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that Fang says Phyllis Diller is back to her old self again (plastic surgery melted).
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that if Johnny Cash were still alive he would be known as "The Man in Bermuda Shorts and a Hawaiian Shirt"!
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot even I look cool.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I turned on the oven to help cool the house.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot Jay_lo is jealous.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot students are trying the wave in the fieldhouse.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot my deodorant ran away.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It’s so hot the sweat should solve the drought problem.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot the desert is shivering
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot there waas a nuclear blast and no one noticed.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot police are waving speeders on to keep the breeze moving.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot the Coppertone Girl on the billboards doesn't have any tan lines.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot my sidewalk ran
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I want my eggs sunnyside down!
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot brownback thinks his policy's are working
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot preachers stopped preaching fire and brimstone. The congregations were starting to look forward to it.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot bikini waxing stopped working
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I burned my tongue on an ice cream cone.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot that the box my microwave came in heats food faster than the microwave.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot, Grandma took a pie from the window sill and set it in the oven to cool.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I cooked steaks in the back yard, and I don't even own a grill.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot the little van in the parking lot is selling RainCones.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot people are advised to stay clothed and indoors for their sauna where it's safe!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot that Brownback's back turned from red to blue. :)
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot that Lawrence is known as the sweat lodge of the world.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot topjay's cucumber is firm!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot I didn't have to add any heat to my five alarm chili.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot that the cow didn't bother to kick Ms O'Leary's lantern late last night when we were all in bed.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so 'hot that when the firemen turn on their hoses steam comes out.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot Frodo came to kansas looking for the cracks of doom.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot the devil wants to lease the capitol building.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot the devil is printing vacation poster's
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot Jesus would have to walk on steam.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot my cat just jumped into the bathtub.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I'm streaking when I move on the couch
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I just took a steam bath
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I just found some boiled crawdads
jamea0216 (anonymous) says…
http://youtu.be/L_IlsPypwZs
its hot in topeka....eh....lawrence too
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot Tammy Faye Baker just took off her make-up
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
Wow, it's climbing fast. I see it's 109 now!
It's so 'hot I don't have to take my clothes to the cleaners, I just put them on wet and within seconds they're dry and pressed.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot baked alaska is no longer an oxymoron
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I just boiled lobster's in a bucket on my from porch
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot all intelligent life has fled Kansas
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I just went fishing in a lava stream
Gandalf (anonymous) replies…
Still managed to catch a rock bass tho! :)
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
I'm sure you have several other talents, but this has got to be your niche! :)
Gandalf (anonymous) replies…
I was born a sarcastic S.O.B.!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Well we're benefiting from it while others who know you are catching a break then. :)
Did_I_say_that (DIST) says…
It is so hot that the designated smoking area now has a fire to extinguish cigarettes.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I dehydrated while taking a bath
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot I ate a can of beans and turned my grandkid's kiddie pool into a heated jacuzzi
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot a heat wave would feel good
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot the temperature just reached reached Bilbo's eleventeenth birthday number!!!
Did_I_say_that (DIST) replies…
Eleventy-First Birthday, you mean honored wizard. I think you had a Fizban moment there, honorable wizard.
wikkawikka (anonymous) replies…
Take your current age or the age you will be and the year you were born, add them together.
You will see the eleventy-first birthday in all who try this.
wikkawikka (anonymous) replies…
All who do this will equal 111. Now that is HOT!
Gandalf (anonymous) replies…
Yor're right dist., it's so hot even I was wrong!
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
I's so hot I just cut myself shaving...and did'nt bleed!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
This one's for Roe. It's so 'hot Sarah Palin was spotted wearing a pantsuit without the pants - both her pistals were blazing and her fingers weren't even near the trigger.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot McCain and O'bama were caught water boarding each other. And they were smiling!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot the bank thermostats are broken. Since when is the temperature 111 but feels like 109? We're not in Kansas anymore!
Did_I_say_that (DIST) replies…
That is actually happening. The humidity is low enough to evaporate sweat and reduce the "feels like" temperature. You usually only see this in the southwest.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Interesting! The humidity is generally high enough it's an increase I'd think. Thanks for my learning something new item today. :)
mom_of_three (anonymous) says…
I didn't look and see if this was listed, but I heard this one today.
it's so hot that the trees are whistling for the dogs!
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
Its so hot, the wind off the Alaska Mountain range felt sorry and blew us off the job.
It said to me;
We're sorry your peeps are so hot
Here's the wind, so you'll not be forgot
Tell the folks in Kansas, cool times are coming
And better times will have you funning
On the snow that is in the future
You'll forget, heat doen't require sutures
But the frost will bite your nose
And you won't remember
Your hot and sweatey woes
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
Wik, yes, the promise of cool weather- even snow and freezing temperatures - lends hope to this extreme heat and drought. I was just thinking earlier that I'll have to make sure this blog somehow resurfaces some brutally cold winter's day.
Back to topic:
It's so hot' that my friend Lonelane saw a pregnant squirrel giving birth in her birdbath. The fetus was skinned and cooked through by the time lone tried to rescued it.
wikkawikka (anonymous) replies…
Haa haa ha You people are hilarious and I do have empathy for you all.
I will be back the 6th of August. I told my coworker that I didn't care if it was 40 in Fairbanks, AK when I leave, I will definitely be wearing shorts and a tee-shirt, to prepare for the arrival in KC.
I may get some crazy looks but it's worth it to prepare adequately for the blistering heat.
It's so hot, I may look stupid or not, but that's the way it is, with all this uncomfortable heat biz.
wikkawikka (anonymous) replies…
Another thing.
I am grateful, hot or not, that I come from Kansas, because as Dorothy said "There's no place like home."
She may not have been referring to the current issue, but she is straight on.
Just spend a few weeks with the chilly folks up here and you will get my drift.
Not all bad, but they should spend a few weeks with all of us there and see how our attitudes or great, hot or not.
wikkawikka (anonymous) replies…
Are not or, my bad.
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
Its so hot, did my feet blister or not?
Oh never mind...it's just my tongue!!!!
Who said heat was a joy?
Prose and pun are a cool toy!!!!
To relieve my tired body.....
My mind is included........
So the pain and sizzle and air is occluded!!
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It' so hot I just ran over a dead jogger. Thought it was a speed bump.
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
There once were some people:-)
Suffering from heat;-(
They sniffled and cried:-(
It my burns my feet!!!!!!
If we stick together
In this inclement weather
We can surrive replete
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
survive (one to may Alaskan Ambers)
wikkawikka (anonymous) replies…
see!!! many oh boy.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot the city commission passed an ordinance requiring sidewalk-owners to turn on their sprinkler's for joggers.
It's so hot eride filed 111 complaints that they didn't
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot ice cream is now considered a health food
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot jihadists are requesting 72 flavors of ice cream instead of virgins
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot a terrorist took Dillions ice cream freezer hostage. 72 women rushed the freezer and clawed his eye's out before the swat team could get there.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot congress voted to replace the gold standard with ice cream. Dollar rise's in value in foreign markets.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot democrats have formed their own grassroots movement. The Ice cream socialists!
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot the tea party movement is steeped in rhetoric
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot Elvis wants back in the building.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot Ronda won't help me!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
Oh, I'll help you all right! :)
It's so hot the words to row row row your boat have changed from, 'gently down the stream' to 'you're just stuck in clay merrily merrily merrily life is but a nightmare'
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
It's so hot that the expression go jump in 'the lake has been changed to go jump in 'the trenches.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot you can't order sushi.
Jay_lo (anonymous) says…
It's so hot Lassie refused to come home.
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot even chicken's wpn't cross the road.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…
It's so hot . . .
Wait a minute? Did I hear somebody say "Roe, Roe, Roe"?
But I don't have a boat! (not even a kayak!)
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot men prefer sex with a cold fish
Gandalf (anonymous) says…
It's so hot my favorite topping's for deep dish pizza is rocky road and triple fudge brownie.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
Sounds like hot chocolate to me! Yum!
thuja (anonymous) says…
We're lucky there's no such thing as global warming, or it would really be hot.
wikkawikka (anonymous) says…
Its so hot, I went to my doctor because I had blood in my urine.
The lady doctor said "You must be on your meunstral cycle", I said "Meunstral cycle!! I don't even have a Motor cycle!!!!
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
Omgosh. I must have missed a couple of these gems when my eyes had cool cucumber compresses over them!
Don't let your bare thigh touch the metal. Wowsa!
coolmarv (anonymous) says…
It's so hot, Hell is sending people to Kansas.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) replies…
It's so hot that even Marv lost his cool. :)
beatrice (anonymous) says…
Did I tell ya it was 117 on Friday in Phoenix?
RoeDapple (anonymous) replies…
Was it a dry heat?
beatrice (anonymous) replies…
Amazingly, it wasn't! Maybe drier than a coastal area, but we had thunderstorms in the evening.
Besides, a convection oven is a dry heat. That doesn't make it any less hot.
justbegintowrite (Ronda Miller) says…
Wow, now that is hot!
Roe, and that was a question you should never ask a female! Lol
It's so hot my tomato plant produced one tomato the size of a jelly bean and I was delighted! Is there a contest at the state fair for smallest tomatoes? :(