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"I Love You...But Not Enough To Ruin My Life" - Mike Calzone . What lines do you wish you'd created?

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So I'm sitting in R bar (Treasure Island, Florida) a couple of weeks ago and I'm with my cousin Janelle. I've mentioned her before - she's the Angie Dickinson blond who has men approach her and ask if they can buy her dessert if she'll dance with them.

She's a natural beauty, vivacious and lots of fun. She doesn't have to resort to fluffing long auburn hair and propping her breasts up in catchy low cut, red t-shirts. We order our favorite - which has switched from crunchy grouper to crunchy catfish - and we decide to split it since we always know she'll be bribed with dessert later.

The entertainment for the evening is Mike Calzone. I'd heard him play a couple of years previously at the same location and am happy because he's good, real good. Not only does he play other people's material nicely, but he interacts well with the audience and writes his own material. It isn't long before I notice the black t-shirts hanging close to where he performs on a make-shift stage.

The shirts have the eye catching (and self identifying phrase), "I Love You...But Not Enough To Ruin My Life". I realize that not only must I own one of those shirts - I also wish I'd written the saying.

Here's what Mike has to say about his catchy phrase - "One night as I'm getting ready to start performing,... the owner of the bar asks me how 'we're' doing. I said, 'I love her, but not enough to ruin my life'. The light goes on in my head and I keep hearing it over and over. I sat down and wrote the song in 5 minutes."

The song he is talking about has the title I'm referring to and is a catchy, bluesy number. Mike had a chance to visit with us during break, but he had a rough break recently, literally. He was hit by a car while riding his bike and had surgery the Monday following the performance I saw.

Here's where the blog topic comes in. What sayings have you heard that you identified enough with that your eyes turned green with jealousy and you said to yourself, "Damn, I wish I would have written that line!"

Thanks, Mike, for letting me share your great line. We wish you a speedy recovery and hope you're writing plenty of new material to perform once you're back on your feet.

Comments

Bob Kraxner 3 years, 10 months ago

Haven't you idiots ever heard of a telephone ? I mean come on... since you are all related, why don't you just pick up the phone, instead of wasting space on here ?

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Jay, thanks for posting the link. Funny material! I need to watch that movie again - it's been too long.

Beachlady, nice songs! You have to remember I'm only a little bit country - you and sis know those songs. I'm into rock n roll, rap and blues. :)

I really do enjoy most music.

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JayCat_67 3 years, 10 months ago

Bart: "What are your pleasures? What do you like to do?"

Jim: "Oh, I don't know... play chess... screw."

Bart: "Well, let's play chess."

One of my favorite parts of "Blazing Saddles"

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JayCat_67 3 years, 10 months ago

"I f@rt in your general direction!" John Cleese

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Hey sis! Partying down tonight or too pooped to pop! :). Rest up as beach lady will wear you to a frazzle. I'm really looking forward to meeting your cohorts at work and play and seeing some family. Please tell Angel to have lots of wedding cake - love it but not enough to marry for it. :). Yes, Mike, you may use that line.

lonelane, good!

Beachlady, you can beach me in Florida anytime. I'm sure you're leaving her sitting pretty and well stocked.

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Beachlady 3 years, 10 months ago

Thanks, Justmesis, for the info on Cake And Eat It Too! Glad school's finally out and I know you are happy to have the summer off! Hope to see you and family in July. As you know I have company that week but I'm thinking I may just leave them on the beach (Ha)! and take a quick flight to VA to see you sometime during that week. I'll let you know.

I really liked the title "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end!"

As I promised Ronda, I'm getting off the cake subject (for now) and here's a couple more songs that relate more to the blog topic. Both are tear-jerkers by Johnny Russell. The first is "Hello, I Love You" and the second is "Our Marriage Was A Failure (But Our Divorce Ain't Working Either)"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfiTWbYc4Cc

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwwk0HZAj_k

www.youtube

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lonelane_1 3 years, 10 months ago

I've always liked the lyric from Semisonic's song "Closing Time":

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

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justmesis 3 years, 10 months ago

Beachlady (cuz) : The expression " You can't have your cake and eat it too", started in the1540's. This is according to the Scholastic Dictionary of Idioms. The original version of the expression is "you can't eat your cake and have it too." Just a fun bit of trivia for you all.
I am getting so excited to see all my best friends and relatives in July. Today is the last day of school here. WHEE!!

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Now that last song with your additions is a classic. Have a hand puppet made of the gal and you can have her on your knee and sing your duet. America's Got Talent doesn't have anything on Ron.

Yes, beach lady. Save some desserts for the next time we're together. It may be justmesis's anniversary cake!

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Ron Holzwarth 3 years, 10 months ago

Wow, talk about a mental block! I'm trying to remember a very special song, but all I can come up is this rather lame excuse:

Maybe I'll remember it later! But, on the other hand, maybe it's better if I don't.

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Beachlady 3 years, 10 months ago

Once again, thanks Ron for coming through with the lyrics and artist(s) of "You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too" and the bit of history concerning the origin of the saying, "You Can't Have Your Cake And Eat It Too." Great job!

As Ronda said, I've been a bit strung out on cake lately! So I'll stay off the subject.....at least until someone offers to buy me some more desserts! LOL!

Keep the great titles coming.....

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schula 3 years, 10 months ago

Ron -- that was awesome! Thanks!

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Ron Holzwarth 3 years, 10 months ago

Oh wow. Same song, performed on the violin and guitar! Amazing!

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Ron Holzwarth 3 years, 10 months ago

"Those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end, we'd sing and dance, forever and a day,,,"

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Yes, I appreciate that you shared that early, stupid part of your life with me! :)

hindsight is 20-20 is an apt expression about now. Ron, most of us have been there done that so you're not alone. Love is blind just came to mind. You can be told but until you experience personally, you don't see. It can take many experiences before those eyes are opened.

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Ron Holzwarth 3 years, 10 months ago

Well you know what? Back to the beginning of this blog - I once loved a woman enough to totally ruin my life. I think about the situation every single day. I realize now, it was a terrible mistake, there is no way she could have made an acceptable life partner. Ronda, you know all about it.

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LJ Whirled 3 years, 10 months ago

"You're not the best, but you're the best that I can do" ... Charlie Robinson

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

You seem to be a little strung out on cake now, cuz. Just saying! :)

seems to be entirely too many desserts of choice in your area.

Here's another chocolate one: give me chocolate or give me death. I had a chocolate colored t-shirt with that saying on it until I ate it one day in desperation.

Btw, Ron is smart and Ron is cool, but the man knows how to google them songs and werds! :)

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Beachlady 3 years, 10 months ago

Hey, it is great to have the family of cuzs here! You're right our Aunt Glenna's saying is gold! And I remember hearing your brother repeat the saying, men will always act like the dogs they are! So thay may be where you heard it! As we know, he has many other great sayings also! Loved the chocolate titles! And I've always liked the saying, "Give Me Chocolate, And No One Gets Hurt." Ronda can attest to that! LOL! By the way, does anyone know the origin of "You Can't Have Your Cake and Eat It Too?" Just curious. Of course, if you have cake, (and key lime pie), you're going to eat it!! Not sure if any of you have heard the parody from that saying in a song titled "You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too!"

Thanks Ron, I'm amazed that you not only know the artist and the author, but all the lyrics as well to the "Tears In My Ears song." That's terrific!

Kudos to everyone for such terrific titles and stories....I'm enjoying this blog!!

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schula 3 years, 10 months ago

I want to give everyone the full day off tomorrow instead of just half! Go out and do something fun!

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justmesis 3 years, 10 months ago

I once saw a T- shirt that said " Body by Chocolate " Sure fits my life!!!!

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Good one, Shula.

Hey, sis! Nice to have family on board. I don't like the first saying because people say it to me but I do wish I'd created it. That last one of Glenna's is gold.

I've been texting your son back and forth all morning. New phone? :)

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Bob Kraxner 3 years, 10 months ago

I've got a shirt that says "Smile if you're not wearing panties !" that has worked very well. I have another shirt that says "I snatch kisses and vice-versa !" .... both are very good ice-breakers.

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justmesis 3 years, 10 months ago

Here are several that I really like. My friend is always saying " Pull up your big girl panties and get a grip!". I also remember one that Aunt Glenna used to say. " The faster I go the behinder I get".

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schula 3 years, 10 months ago

You're on my list of things I love most -- right below chocolate.

A friend has a calendar with sayings about chocolate and this is one of my favorites.

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Good one, honored vet. I think I've heard that one with the badges switched out to other word choices. :)

3of, that would be a best seller for all the cuzins. If we ever remembered each other's names we could even personalize it. Heck, I guess that don't matter cuz we cuzins don't know our own names no how. Hey, roe - does we even have any names? I remember something about Billy and Bobby Joe bob - was that their names or their gurlfrnds?

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3ofClubs 3 years, 10 months ago

Some really great posts!

I once had a t-shirt that read:

"I've fallen and I can't reach my beer!"

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oldvet 3 years, 10 months ago

"Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!"

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Hey, beach lady! Nice to see you on here. I had never heard of the song line you named, thanks to Ron for suppying the rest of the songs, lyrics, info. Very funny but I'm sure we've all been there at some point(s) in time.

Pop, Great one. What you can learn on Oprah!

Mike's newest line, "She's pretty, but she isn't 'that' pretty"

it may just go with this classic line - men will always act like the dogs they are. Not sure who wrote that one but it'd kinds funny in a perverse way.

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Kelly Johnson 3 years, 10 months ago

Saw a girl on Oprah once who cancelled her wedding after the invites had gone out - she sent out a new round of cards saying, "Met the wrong guy...gave him the wrong finger."

I should have sent out cards like that during my divorce!

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Beachlady 3 years, 10 months ago

Hi Cuz and everyone, Terrific blog, Ronda! Just came on the blog to say hi! As you know we had a great time at R-Bar & Grill in Treasure Island, FL listening to Mike Calzone and eating crunchy fish sandwiches and delicious desserts! Fun evening! Mike Calzone is truely one talented guy! The song, "I Love You, But Not Enough To Ruin My Life" is a classic and I especially like the island sounds of "Gulf of Mexico". I have just heard Mike's Vol. 2 CD and it's very good with a great variety of songs. The CD should be available on his website,

The only title I can think of now to add to the blog is, "I Have Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Back Crying Over You". I'm not sure who recorded this song or if it was ever recorded!

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uneekness 3 years, 10 months ago

I was drowning my sorrows, but my sorrows, They learned how to swim -U2, "Until the End of the World"

There are those who say you shouldn't tempt fate, And for them I could not disagree But I never learned nothing from playing it safe, I say fate should not tempt me -Mary Chapin Carpenter, "I'll Take My Chances"

Sometimes you're the winshield, sometimes you're the bug. -Mary Chapin Carpenter, "The Bug"

"I'm going to marry her, but I wish I'd never met her" -Mike Bierman, college roomate

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

That's a sad one but good. Thanks, Ron

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Ron Holzwarth 3 years, 10 months ago

"I'd rather die young, than grow old without you." Performed by various artists, but this is my favorite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeMxWS...

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

That last is a classic!

Ame, so some strange lady on oprah is right up there with Einstein Ya know, it works.

Schula, I know he's got one at least because I've got it. I'm outside now but will post in a few. The one I have has a terrific variety of his own material and other people's hits. You'll love it. I agree that it has an island feel to it.

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doesnotplaywellwithothers 3 years, 10 months ago

From a country western song of the 70's.

"I can't get over you, until you get out from under him."

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Amesmb 3 years, 10 months ago

"Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them." -Einstein

"I'd rather be single than wishing I were." -Some lady on Oprah years ago when I still watched.

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schula 3 years, 10 months ago

Ronda -- I like it. It has a island feel to it. Do you know if has any CDs available?

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schula 3 years, 10 months ago

That is a good one -- Should I stay or should I go -- a song by the Clash

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Another great Mike Calzone line:

"Watching the waves roll in on the Gulf of Mexico - wondering should I stay or should I go"

And he even strings us along in this one of his - Gulf of Mexico

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Ron, if you've only had one comment pulled you're doing great. I've had a handful pulled - I was innocent though, I called people by their actual name, having gotten to know them so well and then I tattled on myself. There was that one other time though - nameless here forever more and I should have known better.

Leapin, lennon's quote is one of my favorite ones. The lad was cool!

Liked your other too - a new one for me.

Roe and cuzins- our favorite drink out of the brown bag, don't bother to wipe your spit off anytime soon, the next cuzin will take care of that fur ya.

Keep it and cap it before and after it. :)

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leapinlemur 3 years, 10 months ago

My favorites:

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." John Lennon, "Beautiful Boy"

"There's a picture opposite me of my primitive ancestry, which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck free. Though I respect that a lot, I'd be fired if that was my job... after killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts." They Might be Giants, "Birdhouse in Your Soul". (For those not familiar with the song, it is written from the perspective of a plug-in night light.)

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Haha! Now that was a great line!

Ps, when I send you a private saying it's okay to say something naughty on line, don't put in the part about Ronda saying you could. Cuz that makes me look nasty and evil and unsightly. All those things I am but attempt to keep from the masses. It also makes it sound like I know more than you and I don't. It also makes it look as though I've got way too much biosolids on my hands.

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

And in English, Ron? :)

good one, schula! Hadn't heard it.

Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back is a good one.

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Ron Holzwarth 3 years, 10 months ago

My father had a favorite quote also which he knew in Plattdeütsch. I don't remember it very well, except for it's translation into English. But, in Hochdeutsche it goes something like:

Gelt wie Scheisse, aber nichts in der Kochtopf.

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Ron Holzwarth 3 years, 10 months ago

If you were moving any slower you'd be moving backwards!

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Ron Holzwarth 3 years, 10 months ago

Actually I have to give my younger brother (RIP) credit for those three quotes. Those were his favorites. My grandfather had a favorite one also, it's an old German saying, it translates to:

Many hands make the work light.

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Ron Holzwarth 3 years, 10 months ago

Footprints on the sands of time were not made sitting down!

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schula 3 years, 10 months ago

Here is one from my grandpa. While watching a baseball game, he said "The pitcher is sick". I said "How can you tell?" Grandpa said "He is throwing up".

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Love all of those! I hadn't heard the puppies quote, Camper. Quite the visual thinking. I will look for an opportunity to incorporate.

What's, I agree. One of the best out there.

Ron, that's a fun one to switch gender on as desired, eh!

A favorite that my brother says often: "it's nice out, I think I'll leave it out." Followed closely by, "You know why that is, don't you?". When I reply, "no, why?' and he says, 'i don't know. I thought maybe you did."

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whats_going_on 3 years, 10 months ago

"The love you take is equal to the love you make"

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camper 3 years, 10 months ago

"My imagination is having puppies".

Not sure if it is exact, but I think it is on Tragically Hip song.

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Now that's line I wish I would have created.

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RoeDapple 3 years, 10 months ago

I din't make it up but there be lotsa cuzins missin' various body parts what has sed it from time to time

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Roe, I actually hadn't heard the line you posted but it is a classic. Are you sure you didn't actually create that one yourself? ;)

Shula, if I can find some other links of Calzone's I'll post them so you get an idea of how adept he is as well as other types of expertise.

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Yeah, I like that too!

I would have liked to be credited with

"seize the day"

I mean, is that not the greatest?

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lonelane_1 3 years, 10 months ago

"I work my fingers to the bone and all I get is bony fingers."

Always kinda' liked that one.

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Scopi, those are certainly classic lines.

this is a communist daycare! :). Love it!

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schula 3 years, 10 months ago

Mike has an awesome voice. I would like to hear more of his singing. Thanks for posting for us.

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Schula. That is a classic! I'm sure it could be reworded for the men too but I fear the spelling and intent of the word dog might change.

What'd you think of mike's voice, guys? Nice, huh? Very catchy tune.

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scopi_guy 3 years, 10 months ago

I got a knife here in my pocketbook and I'm gonna cut you up after class --Cookie Mueller

This isn't some Communist daycare center --Mink Stole

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zx9w8Sb6KMY&feature=related

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schula 3 years, 10 months ago

I once had a t-shirt that said "The more I know men, the more I love my dog"

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K_Verses_The_World 3 years, 10 months ago

When you think that you lost everything You find out you can always lose a little more

and

You'll find out when you reach the top You're on the bottom.

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RoeDapple 3 years, 10 months ago

"Hold my beer, you ain't gonna believe this shi - - -"

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Here is Mike singing his words:

"I Love you, but not enough to ruin my life"

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Haha. Lol. Thanks. That is a classic. Where's the edit button!

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Multidisciplinary 3 years, 10 months ago

This one ↓ the calories watcher's favorite.(cheesy grin)

"We order our favorite - which has switched from crunchy grouper to crunchy catfish - and we decide to spit it since we always know she'll be bribed with dessert later."

(it was too cute of a typo to resist)

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

Followed by, "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz - oh, what a relief it is!"

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Ronda Miller 3 years, 10 months ago

I am partial to "Zing, What a feeling!"

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