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Why Rick Santorum Will Never Be President, A Step-by-Step Guide

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Former Republican Senator (Pa.) Rick Santorum announced today that he will run for President. He has absolutely no chance whatsoever of winning the GOP bid. Why?

Step 1: Google "rick santorum."

Step 2: Follow the second link (disclaimer: mildly NSFW/gross).

Step 3: Ta-da!

UPDATE:

When googling "rick santorum" ahem, you should now follow the FIRST link to reach the "desired" page.

Comments

verity 2 years, 10 months ago

Santorum's campaign slogan is: “Fighting to make America America again.”

Doesn't that sound vaguely familiar? Maybe something from a poem by a Lawrence favorite son?

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Roland Gunslinger 2 years, 10 months ago

The #2 link has now moved to #1. Rick Santorum's wiki link has now become the #2 on Google's search.

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Esq2eB 2 years, 10 months ago

I know when I am considering a presidential candidate, the first thing I do is go to a NSFW/Gross web page to base my decisions off of.

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pizzapete 2 years, 10 months ago

I don't think just because some liberal, hippie, communist, homosexuals have defamed his name that he is unelectable. There are plenty of Americans that agree with many of his views and probably don't even use the interwebs. Santorum Palin in 2112, you betcha.

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blindrabbit 2 years, 10 months ago

Don't count him out; Ann Coulter loves him as well as Christie, Bachman, Vitter and especially Palin! Remember, Ann contends that all human travails since Christ's time are due to Democrat incompetence.

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Steve Jacob 2 years, 10 months ago

Speaking off it, anyone read about the Tim Pawlenty budget plan today. Cut taxes to the rich, and cut government spending, and we will pay off the debt. We only have to grow the GNP by 5% a year. (Ha Ha) And he never said the work "Medicare".

I think anyone who thinks we can pay down the debt without tax hikes and budget cuts are crazy.

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overplayedhistory 2 years, 10 months ago

Funny thing, the most moderate conservative consensus builder president we have had (Reagan) was the one who made that bed.

1 He had a chance to make the fairness doctrine law, and instead did away with it all together. Once that happened the News became a packaged commodity to a targeted market.

2 He brought the social Christian conservatives into the fold.

Lee Atwater, Karl rove and The Dick Armey used #2 and #1 to win elections. Now #2 owns the primaries and has its own network.

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kusadgirl 2 years, 10 months ago

If you google Santorum, this is one of the top searches to come up. Can't be good for the guy.

http://www.spreadingsantorum.com/

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The_Original_Bob 2 years, 10 months ago

Well, that'd be just one of a very long list of reasons.

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ksriver2010 2 years, 10 months ago

The problem with the whole political mess is that the Repubs will run on a far right agenda to get the nomination and then will be unelectable. The radio talk show hosts have been casting any moderate as not a true Conservative, so they will all try to outdo each other. Many Christians will not vote for Mormon Romney. This cannot turn out well for Repubs in 2012. And why is Sarah Palin suddenly a front runner?? She is completely non-electable!

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