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Why Rick Santorum Will Never Be President, A Step-by-Step Guide

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Former Republican Senator (Pa.) Rick Santorum announced today that he will run for President. He has absolutely no chance whatsoever of winning the GOP bid. Why?

Step 1: Google "rick santorum."

Step 2: Follow the second link (disclaimer: mildly NSFW/gross).

Step 3: Ta-da!

UPDATE:

When googling "rick santorum" ahem, you should now follow the FIRST link to reach the "desired" page.

Comments

ksriver2010 3 years, 6 months ago

The problem with the whole political mess is that the Repubs will run on a far right agenda to get the nomination and then will be unelectable. The radio talk show hosts have been casting any moderate as not a true Conservative, so they will all try to outdo each other. Many Christians will not vote for Mormon Romney. This cannot turn out well for Repubs in 2012. And why is Sarah Palin suddenly a front runner?? She is completely non-electable!

Steve Jacob 3 years, 6 months ago

Speaking off it, anyone read about the Tim Pawlenty budget plan today. Cut taxes to the rich, and cut government spending, and we will pay off the debt. We only have to grow the GNP by 5% a year. (Ha Ha) And he never said the work "Medicare".

I think anyone who thinks we can pay down the debt without tax hikes and budget cuts are crazy.

labmonkey 3 years, 6 months ago

I agree that taxes will have to be raised at some point... but our elected officials need to show they are serious about cutting spending before the American people allow them one more cent of our money.

Kendall Simmons 3 years, 6 months ago

But he did say the word "Google"...as the method by which we should consider eliminating government programs. Yeesh.

blindrabbit 3 years, 6 months ago

Don't count him out; Ann Coulter loves him as well as Christie, Bachman, Vitter and especially Palin! Remember, Ann contends that all human travails since Christ's time are due to Democrat incompetence.

pizzapete 3 years, 6 months ago

I don't think just because some liberal, hippie, communist, homosexuals have defamed his name that he is unelectable. There are plenty of Americans that agree with many of his views and probably don't even use the interwebs. Santorum Palin in 2112, you betcha.

somedude20 3 years, 6 months ago

"Santorum Palin in 2112, you betcha"

god have mercy on our souls.... the only thing worse than that ticket would be the fact that anyone voted for them I would vote for a Judy Tenuta and Ben Affleck ticket before Dumb and Dumber

pizzapete 3 years, 6 months ago

Yea, but less than 50% of the electorate vote, so they only really need to fool a small percentage of the total population to get elected. Divide and conquer, it's worked before.

And I was being sarcastic, sorry, my bad!

verity 3 years, 6 months ago

Santorum's campaign slogan is: “Fighting to make America America again.”

Doesn't that sound vaguely familiar? Maybe something from a poem by a Lawrence favorite son?

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