LJWorld.com weblogs Anna Undercover
Posted
by Anna Undercover
September 10, 2010 at 3:50 p.m.
Anna Undercover: Girls^3
Girls, girls, girls!
They're at your local strip club, and they're not just on the staff.
They're here, they're queer, and a lot of them are hetero, too.
A gaggle of four giggling teenage girls that visited me weekly at the Outhouse last winter.
("Omigod," the 18-year-old would gush. "I have such a crush on you!" I never knew what to say).
It's true that women enjoy the exotic arts, and over the summer, one such woman boldly went where no man had gone before:
My adorable little birthday girl customer sent me a message on Facebook! by AnnaUndercover
I do, in fact, know her wonderful, sweet husband from another club.
(Awww)!
Charming, bubbly, and aesthetically pleasing to behold, I'm calling her "Pixie" on here. She is my favorite of all my female customers, and you can bet I worked for each one.
A simple "hi" does not impress them, and she'll get bored and leave unless you're funny and quick.
They very much enjoy the stage-side show, and that's where they tend to participate the most.
Men buy more dances, but women are far tougher to land as regulars, so I'm somewhere between proud and lucky to have three or four right now.
I always do my best, but this message made me, like, clap. :) by AnnaUndercover
Yay! by AnnaUndercover
Especially when their girlfriends come, too! (With one husband/birthday boy in tow, this time).
The wife crossed the club to get me. "I'm getting him a dance!" she said.
"Yes, ma'am!" I responded, saluting her.
Gleefully, she took her seat as I took mine, and the music began.
Abuse ensued.
"Hahahaha!" the girls laughed as I slammed down hard into his lap.
(Isn't that what every birthday boy deserves?)
Several punches and purple-nurples later, the girls clapped as I curtsied. Women tend to enjoy it when I beat up the man they brought with them.
"Omigod!"
A 21-year-old (had to be) girl was exclaiming a few tables from Pixie's group when I walked over, later. "Omigod, I love you. You are so cute. I want a dance right now."
Yes! Score. People like their little geishas to reflect their tastes, so it's lucky when you fit the bill exactly.
"Of course I'll give you a dance, sweetheart!" I said with a mischievous grin.
"Me next!" said her girlfriend. "Next song," she commanded.
"And then me," said a shy, blond tomboy at the end of their tables.
$30 in about 12 minutes? Good deal.
It was (almost) all women, all night for me last weekend, and I had a stage-side line of all female tippers more than once.
Early in the night, they almost tip-toe toward the stage with the same sheepish, mischievous grin, cautiously excited to cut loose in the windowless privacy of a strip club.
Tip in hand, it was her first time at a strip club, and she grinned up at me with a girlish thrill on her face.
"Am I really doing this?!" her wide eyes and incredulous smile seemed to say as I knelt by the edge of the stage.
Her nervous excitement made me giggle as I played with her hair and swayed gracefully, inches from her face.
She started to relax, and almost closed her eyes.
"You smell amazing," she half-mumbled, almost deliriously, and smiled, seeming embarrassed at what she said.
I took her tip and hugged her.
"Thank you, sweetheart," I purred. She smiled up at me with sparkling eyes.
Aw.
For a few moments, the dance, the music, the make-up, and lights--the whole production--was exclusively hers, and she loved it.
From "Pixie," that Sunday:
:) by AnnaUndercover
and 3 others
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Comments
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AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…
Nap time for me. :)
thepianoman (anonymous) says…
Hey AUC! I play a mean Maple Leaf Rag. We should team up at the Outhouse!!
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
Lol.
coolmarv (anonymous) says…
Have no idea what Herp Derp. means.
Watch out for this one. 15 posts in two days and several removed by staff already.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
Their comments do seem a bit puerile.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
I imagine it to represent the sounds of someone with severely inferior abilities furiously attempting to communicate with others.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
...Hypothesis confirmed.
grammaddy (anonymous) says…
Welcome back Anna! I've missed you terribly.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
Aw! I've missed you, too. :) I'm back in black for the fall.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…
I checked the comments from my phone before heading to dinner, and saw one that isn't here anymore.
It was a good question (though uh, it wasn't couched in the most respectful terms), so I'll restate and answer it here:
"Why do you think exotic dancing is an art?"
200 years of legal decisions have not yielded a definition or clear guidelines to determine what the definition of 'art' is.
It's an important question because people's legal and financial interests hang in the balance.
What some decisions *have* helpfully identified, however, is that anything that *is* art involves some measure of human creativity.
The sunset is beautiful, but it is 100% natural, so it isn't art. If you take a picture of it, though, that could be called 'art.'
On what *has* been decided re: the definition of 'art':
In one landmark decision (Burrow-Giles Lithographic Co. v. Sarony) that upheld the power of Congress to extend copyright protection to photos hinged on the question of whether a photograph was 'art,' or not.
Burrow-Giles argued that photography is a mechanical process, not a creative one, so it couldn't convey the creator's idea; therefore, it can't be called art.
The court identified that since Sarony posed his subject (Oscar Wilde!), picked his clothes, picked his expression, the background, the light, etc.
This "originality" made it art, which meant the photographer could copyright the photo, etc.
In my job, I make up my own dances--mostly right as I go along, I pick my own music, I design my costume, choose and apply my make-up, and use movement (and speech, and touch, etc) to communicate the spirit of the song to my customers.
Now, every artist's expression is different. Indeed, there are girls at my club I will never be able to dance like--even if I wanted to! (Sigh... I should do some more push-ups). After a decade or so of serious dance training, I've encountered only *one* other dancer who performs even *close* to how I do--even though my training is completely irrelevant to whether what I'm doing is art or not, as is whatever the actual quality of my dancing may or may not be.
So if you want to determine if my art is 'art' and not something terrifyingly dangerous and detrimental to your very survival, you would have to judge my specific dancing.
Even if you find my dancing--worst case--offensive and extremely poor in quality, you have a reciprocal right "not to listen"--a right not to have to see my expression.
Frankly, I don't want to perform for someone who doesn't share my sense of aesthetic pleasure, so it's likely that I don't pose a significant threat to your right not to see my dancing.
Fortunately or not, I do my art in a private, windowless building you must drive to get to and pay to enter.
You'll only see my art if you seek it out.
I'm pretty tired, so I'll stop there for now. :) Sweet dreams, everyone.
tange (anonymous) says…
"... I do my art in a private, windowless building you must drive to get to and pay to enter."
Hiding the light under a bushel... or trading it for one?
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
You've never even *seen* my light. :)
tange (anonymous) replies…
Hard to tell... the light within
being wrapped in so much ephemera.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
May I send you a private message? :)